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The Self-Defined "Victim" - Page 1

The Self-Defined "Victim" - Page 1 | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it

The self-defined “Victim” uses stealth personal power strategies to cope with anger, to“control” situations and other people in order to punish and to maintain a sense of superiority. Making use of "stealth" behavior provides the self-defined "Victim" a safety net while acting out this negative behavior pattern.


     The self-defined “Victim’s” primary mechanism of personal power and control is through the manipulation of the sympathies of others outside or peripheral to the spouse or intimate other.

Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

If you've ever been a victim of a self defined victim, you are not alone. So little is written about this powerplay and there's such a taboo about "blaming the victim" that there is almost no support for this person's victims. In this situation, the "self-defined victim" is actually the perpetrator or bully.  Hopefully, this insight will provide some healing to those dealing with this behavior in their lives.

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Understanding Mental Health
Personality Disorder is a topic that is taboo in many families and relationships. Taking it out of the closet.
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Young people may be losing the ability to read emotions in our digital world

Young people may be losing the ability to read emotions in our digital world | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Children's social skills may be declining as they have less time for face-to-face interaction due to their increased use of digital media, according to a UCLA psychology study.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

And I agree wholeheartedly with this researcher's conclusion: "You can't learn nonverbal emotional cues from a screen in the way you can learn it from face-to-face communication," said lead author Yalda Uhls, a senior researcher with the UCLA's Children's Digital Media Center, Los Angeles. "If you're not practicing face-to-face communication, you could be losing important social skills."

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The World of the Borderline Mother--And Her Children

The World of the Borderline Mother--And Her Children | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Therapist Christine Lawson posits four types of mothers based on fairy tales
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How Mothers "Spread" Borderline Personality Disorder to Children/ Show Me a Patient with BPD and I Will Show You a Patient Whose Mother Had BPD

How Mothers "Spread" Borderline Personality Disorder to Children/ Show Me a Patient with BPD and I Will Show You a Patient Whose Mother Had BPD | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Borderline Personality Disorder is a Serious Mental Disorder and It Is Spread From Mother to Child
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Why Some Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Mothers Sabotage their Children

Why Some Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Mothers Sabotage their Children | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Why does my wife seem to always find fault with our children's school and routinely insist on changing them? Why do my kids' teachers look at me like I'm a serial killer when I attend parent teache...
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

" Sibling rivalry for one’s child can manifest in several ways. For example, your BPD/NPD wife “tattles” on the child and takes pleasure in watching you mete out punishment for misbehavior, a BPD/NPD sets up the child to get him/her into trouble, feeding the child a steady diet of fast food/junk food/processed foods  to make the child fat so mom can seem skinnier and prettier in comparison (this is especially common with BPD/NPD mothers and daughters), having a scapegoat child and a “golden child” and pitting them against one another, becoming jealous when the child’s father (her ex) buys them new school clothes, takes them on vacation, to concerts and other special events and making anything that happens to child, good or bad, about her." ~The toll on sibling relationships when mother is BPD cannot be underestimated. 

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Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest?

Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest? | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Emotional incest is a style of parenting in which a parent looks to their child to provide a level of emotional support that would normally be provided by another adult. This is a heavy burden a child who must suppress their own needs to satisfy the needs of the adult.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

For example, After divorce, The BPD mother looks to the son to be the "man" of the house or, the BPD father looks to the daughter to be the mother/care-giver. 

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Man's Rare Condition May Open Door to New Alzheimer's Treatments

Man's Rare Condition May Open Door to New Alzheimer's Treatments | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
He lacks a protein linked to the memory-robbing condition, but his brain works fine, researchers report.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Early stages of promising research

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The Narcissistic Mother II

The Narcissistic Mother II | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Your narcissistic mother did her best—Now it’s your turn
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Is your mother a narcissist? You may blame yourself ... but it may not be YOU. 

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The Borderline Parent

The Borderline Parent | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Can you live with, and move beyond, a relationship with a borderline parent?
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

I've read that when there's one in the family, there's often more than one. In my experience, that is true. The devastation Borderline's cause is heartbreaking for them and those that love them.

 

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6 Signs of Narcissism You May Not Know About

6 Signs of Narcissism You May Not Know About | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
How can you recognize the fragility behind the narcissist’s grandiosity?
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

This is an outstanding article. I appreciate the personal experience the author brings to the table.

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Books Worth Reading: How People with Autism Grieve, and How to Help -

Books Worth Reading: How People with Autism Grieve, and How to Help - | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Books Worth Reading: How People with Autism Grieve, and How to Help
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

I happened upon this book while browsing the Jessica Kingsley Publisher’s site today and thought, “Who thinks of this?” How many teachers, friends, or even relatives truly understand how someone with Autism grieves? Yet, how many of us would benefit to truly understand how someone with Autism grieves? My guess is ...

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15 Things That Emotionally Strong People Don't Do | Elite Daily

15 Things That Emotionally Strong People Don't Do | Elite Daily | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it.
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Methods to Cheer Up Without Coffee and Energy Drinks

Methods to Cheer Up Without Coffee and Energy Drinks | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Simple and Affordable Ways to Feel More Energetic in Spring

Via Rose Hermann
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

These are wonderful strategies! All simple to implement :-)

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(4) Timeline Photos - Dr. Larry Stanleigh

(4) Timeline Photos - Dr. Larry Stanleigh | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Brilliant!

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How Does the Brain Learn Best? Smart Studying Strategies

How Does the Brain Learn Best? Smart Studying Strategies | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it

"A practical and engaging guide to smart studying tips.  In his new book, “How We Learn: The Surprising Truth about When, Where, and Why It Happens,” author Benedict Carey informs us that “most of our instincts about learning are misplaced, incomplete, or flat wrong” and “rooted more in superstition than in science." 

Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

This is an incredibly important work for all learners of all ages. 

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My Life With Crazy: A Resource for Children of Borderline Mothers

My Life With Crazy: A Resource for Children of Borderline Mothers | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Check out http://mylifewithcrazy.com! Home Page
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THE BORDERLINE PARENT - Surviving Childhood

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Shame, a Powerful, Painful and Potentially Dangerous Emotion

Shame, a Powerful, Painful and Potentially Dangerous Emotion | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Unlike guilt, which is the feeling of doing something wrong, shame is the feeling of being something wrong. Shame is increasingly being recognized as a powerful, painful and potentially dangerous emotion - especially for those who don’t understand its origins or know how to manage through it. Problems occur when shame or humiliation becomes an integral part of a person’s self-image or sense of self-worth.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

And... we are living in an age where shaming our children as discipline is being celebrated on the internet. Frightening. 

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What is Alzheimer's disease? - Ivan Seah Yu Jun

What is Alzheimer's disease? - Ivan Seah Yu Jun | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia, affecting over 40 million people worldwide. And though it was discovered over a century ago, scientists are still grappling for a cure. Ivan Seah Yu Jun describes how Alzheimer's affects the brain, shedding light on the different stages of this complicated, destructive disease.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Well done explanation that is easy to understand. 

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Julianna Bonola's curator insight, August 20, 5:44 AM

If you ever wanted to learn how Alzheimer works, then this is the Ted Talk to see.  Short sharp and to the point, it covers most aspects of how  this devastating degenerative disease works.  It's well worth the look.

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Suicide, a Crime of Loneliness - The New Yorker

Suicide, a Crime of Loneliness - The New Yorker | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
The coverage of Robin Williams’s death reminds us that, though the media may seek to provide a “reason,” no logic can be brought to the illogic of suicide.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

An informative, necessary, and powerful article. 

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The Borderline Mother

The Borderline Mother | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
The Brutal Womb and the Child of the Borderline
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Do you have a borderline mother? Hmmm I realize this is a taboo topic that many people are uncomfortable with... which is exactly why I 'm posting it because some of us DO have borderline mothers and need the support.

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How to Deal With a Drama Queen

How to Deal With a Drama Queen | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Do you have a demanding diva in your life? You're not alone.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

An Excellent compilation of articles that fit the "Drama Queen".

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Common Core State Standards: They are not a curriculum. They are standards. -

Common Core State Standards: They are not a curriculum. They are standards. - | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it

Common Core: It's not a curriculum. It's a standard.  - A little rant about what the real issue is!

Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Teachers/Districts/States can choose whichever or whatever curriculum they want to use to meet the standards. I’m not making a statement about whether the standards are good or bad. I’m just saying that ...

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Susan Gingras Fitzell's curator insight, March 3, 7:50 PM

Teachers/Districts/States can choose whichever or whatever curriculum they want to use to meet the standards. I’m not making a statement about whether the standards are good or bad. I’m just saying that ...

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How Coconut Oil May Rescue The Brain From Alzheimer's Disease

How Coconut Oil May Rescue The Brain From Alzheimer's Disease | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Recent anecdotal reports claim coconut oil produces remarkable recoveries from Alzheimer's disease, but is there research to support this? Now, a new study published in the Journal of Alzheiner's Disease shows that a mechanism for coconut oil's brain rescuing properties does in fact exist.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Fascinating research. I wish they'd keep the coconut oil in the coconut creamer instead of making fat free coconut creamer and adding cane sweetener to make it taste better.

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It's Fairly Common, And It's Dangerous. These 7th-Graders Show Us What It Can Look Like.

It's Fairly Common, And It's Dangerous. These 7th-Graders Show Us What It Can Look Like. | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
Things that matter. Pass 'em on.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Important information for a problem more common than we may realize.

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Link made between cyberbullying and teen suicides often overshadows mental health issues: experts

Link made between cyberbullying and teen suicides often overshadows mental health issues: experts | Understanding Mental Health | Scoop.it
As the issue of cyberbullying increasingly receives more and more attention, experts warn that linking cyberbullying and teen suicide oversimplifies the issue, as more complex sets of mental health issues are usually at play in many cases.
Susan Gingras Fitzell's insight:

Do you feel these words ring true? "When journalists ... imply that teenage suicides are directly caused by bullying, we reinforce a false narrative that has no scientific support," she wrote. "In doing so, we miss opportunities to educate the public about the things we could be doing to reduce both bullying and suicide."

 People like to be able to define an issue in simple terms, blaming one thing, hoping for the golden nugget - the answer - the simple solution. How do we address bullying, suicide and mental illness and  maintain focus when the issue is deeply complex and there are no simple answers?
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Susan Gingras Fitzell's curator insight, December 16, 2013 12:24 AM

Do you feel these words ring true? "When journalists ... imply that teenage suicides are directly caused by bullying, we reinforce a false narrative that has no scientific support," she wrote. "In doing so, we miss opportunities to educate the public about the things we could be doing to reduce both bullying and suicide."

 People like to be able to define an issue in simple terms, blaming one thing, hoping for the golden nugget - the answer - the simple solution. How do we address bullying, suicide and mental illness and  maintain focus when the issue is deeply complex and there are no simple answers?