How Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People
Elysian Training's insight:
When Daniel Goleman popularised the idea of emotional intelligence it opened a conversation that has become the basis for modern organisational culture. We now take for granted that a person’s attitude and behavioural ‘style’ play a critical role in selecting, retaining and promoting employees. This new focus combined with work in the field of positive psychology allowed organisations for the first time to prioritise employee engagement and drive the recognition that the emotional experience of work profoundly impacts an organisations productivity.
Despite these huge strides forward one unfortunate fact has remained constant regardless of how fantastic your workplace culture… there will still be some people who are negative or with whom you just don’t connect. Even with significant organisational efforts it seems some of these ‘toxic’ people remain. The issue of ‘toxicity’ in businesses is well documented and in particular the disastrous effects of toxic leadership. For more on this subject read the excellent book “The allure of toxic leaders” by Jean Lipman-Blumen.
We must remember that the toxic person may not appear that way to others and perhaps we may well be part of the problem. Worse still, to others on bad days, we ourselves may appear toxic!
As a bumbling American (or any nationality, really) abroad, there is no end to the ways that you can offend people and embarrass yourself in the process.
President Carter succeeded in 1977, when he told the Polish people, through an unfortunate translation, that he desired them “carnally.” President Bush offended Australians in 1992, when he gave a “V-for-victory” sign, the equivalent to a middle finger down under. And Michelle Obama had her own moment when she half-hugged the Queen in 2009, one of the few incidences of public hugging in the Queen’s 57-year career.
Erin Meyer, a professor at the global business school INSEAD, has accumulated her own thoughts on how to navigate cross-cultural missteps in a new book, “The Culture Map.” One chart that appears in the book, reprinted here with her permission, is particularly great at decoding some of the perils in cross-cultural communication.
The most important driver of employee engagement is the relationship they have with their immediate manager,” says Piera Palazzolo, Senior Vice President of Dale Carnegie Training. She says the most successful relationships are those where bosses and employees really get to know one another.
“That’s different from years ago, when you weren’t supposed to ask any personal questions. Those lines are blurred now, people want you to care about them, particularly if there’s something going on in their lives that might affect their performance.”
Fear isn’t something you can overcome by simply working harder. You can’t solve it by spending money. And you certainly can’t avoid it by delegating. So, I wanted to dig a little deeper and understand why we let fear hold us back and share with you how we can overcome it.
Intelligence, or a person’s cognitive ability to understand and deal with complex problems in a rational and purposeful way, is undoubtedly a huge asset in the workplace, and is crucial in dealing effectively with work demands and challenges.
There is a lot of great information out there in the world, but in a world where we need to focus more and more on developing the “whole child”, if our entire life revolves around education all of the time, I am not sure we are modelling “appropriate use” ourselves. Not using something is also part of the appropriate use as we move forward. There will always be something “awesome”, but to try to use everything is not possible or helpful in the long term.
The Elysian News it out...Are You Emotionally Intelligent? How to Know for Sure, 5 Career Secrets of Hollywood Executives (That You Can Use), How Important is Engagement? 87% of Leaders Say a Lack of It is a Key Issue, What Are the Secrets of Engagement? (Elysian Podcast)
While downtime of any kind can help relieve stress, there are several science-backed ways that let you enjoy life outside of the office while improving your productivity within it.
Research conducted by Kevin Eschleman, an assistant psychology professor at San Francisco State University, suggests hobbies that are less relevant to one’s career are paradoxically more beneficial for it.
"Whatever the activity is that you're doing in your free time, it becomes incredibly more valuable if it is different from what you've been doing most recently in your work environment," Eschelman told Fast Company in a previous interview. "People need to be mindful and aware of what resources they're using in the work environment to realize which resources they need to protect and refuel in their free time," he said.
What does 70:20:10 & continuous learning have to do with Sherlock Holmes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter and other heroic fictional characters? Possibly nothing... unless you believe this infographic.
When you’re a nice person, conflict can be a real challenge. Not that mean people are any better at conflict; they just enjoy it more.
New research from Columbia University shows that how you handle conflict can make or break your career. The researchers measured something scientifically that many of us have seen firsthand—people who are too aggressive in conflict situations harm their performance by upsetting and alienating their peers, while people who are too passive at handling conflict hinder their ability to reach their goals.
When it comes to productivity, we all face the same challenge—there are only 24 hours in a day.Yet some people seem to have twice the time; they have an uncanny ability to get things done. Even when juggling multiple projects, they reach their goals without fail.
It’s really hard to talk about failure. The "Admitting Failure" website, connected to engineering failure stories at its creation, hopes to change that.
...acknowledging failure is often a catalyst for innovation... _____________________
It is painful for civil society organizations to acknowledge when we don’t meet our goals and objectives... The paradox is that we do everything we can to avoid these pains even though we all know failure is the best teacher and we have to be open and talk about our failures in order to learn. ....acknowledging failure is often a catalyst for innovation that takes our work from good to great.
To address this conundrum we need a paradigm shift in how civil society views failure. We think this starts with open and honest dialogue about what is working and what isn’t so Admitting Failure exists to support and encourage organizations to (not surprisingly) admit failure.
ad·mit /ədˈmit/ verb: 1. To concede as true or valid <admit responsibility for a failure> 2. To allow entry <admit failure into the organization, allowing a safe space for dialogue>
Fear, embarrassment, and intolerance of failure drives our learning underground and hinders innovation.
No more. Failure is strength. The most effective and innovative organizations are those that are willing to speak openly about their failures because the only truly “bad” failure is one that’s repeated.
Related posts by Deb on Learning and Failure:
3 Success Factors for High Performance Teams, and What Gets In the Way Beyond Resilience: Givers, Takers, Matchers and Anti-Fragile Systems Union / Management collaboration: What Creates Healthy, Fit Organizations Today? Int’l Coaching Week in SE Michigan is coming May 18-24, 2015. Reserve a group speed coaching session for your business leaders today.
Within each of us are two selves, suggests David Brooks in this meditative short talk: the self who craves success, who builds a résumé, and the self who seeks connection, community, love -- the values that make for a great eulogy. (Joseph Soloveitchik has called these selves "Adam I" and "Adam II.") Brooks asks: Can we balance these two selves?
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