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Perspective – An Illusion of Reality
I was really amused when what one of my friends was trying to explain didn’t compliment what the other person understood, yet, the conversation went on for an extended period of time. Either party was happy recalling their own memories, branching out their own thoughts & making their own connections with the ongoing conversation.
We, rather our brain often try to bring out images of all similarities that we have learnt, experienced or felt and ignore the rest of the information. We choose what we want to feel, think and experience. And that is based on our past memories.
If I ask a group of people to close their eyes & imagine a mango, everyone will have different images cropped out of their past memories. Some will instantly start smelling of mangoes, some will imagine it to be partly yellow, partly green; others might imagine mango slices or even some mangoes swaying on trees. None of these images are wrong. They are just different. They tell us something more about the person who sees it. These were some of the positive images of mangoes. For an individual who suffers from a mango allergy the experience may be unhealthy & when asked to imagine a mango that individual’s brain may procure images of rashes & itchiness instead. All these images are true and real but for that individual. Many a times our images over lap, we end up agreeing on a particular topic, start debating or develop a rapport. That doesn’t conclude the other images to be incorrect.
Same is the case with a person being ‘normal’. A majority of people’s experience and realities matches which is accepted as the society norm for ‘being normal’. According to a ‘mentally challenged’ person’s perspective we probably aren’t normal.
In life a lot of parameters decide what shapes our perspectives. However, self-awareness of such things can help build our own reality, a positive reality.
A friend of mine Aditya Ranade (name changed on purpose) had an unpleasant perspective regarding marriages. His parent’s marriage ended up in a divorce and he used to stay with his mother. This incident had such an effect on him that he was strictly against marriages and abused every other girlfriend he had without any remorse.
Another friend, Ritesh Maheshwari (name changed) too was from the same town, same school and same batch as Aditya Ranade. He is now happily married to the love of his life and treats his wife like a queen. Since young he too was staying with his mother and had seen her struggle & suffer due to a bad marriage. However, his perspective towards this situation was completely opposite to that of Aditya Ranade. Although they had the same experiences, their perspectives towards the negative happenings in their life made all the difference to their present life.
I believe being happy is something which you have the control over. If I have negative experiences and I decide to give life back the same things I experienced, it will end up making me bitterer in life. If life hands you lemons, you cannot throw those lemons back at life, it will end up falling on you in the end.
As Mahatma Gandhi rightly said, ‘An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind’.
I have seen many people often say, ‘This happens to me all the time!’. There may be a reason for this.
In school if you fail you have to repeat a year. You don’t say, ‘this happens to me all the time’. If it does, you need to work harder and change your answers because the ones you are giving are definitely incorrect. If you repeatedly fail in your exams, do you keep on writing the same answers again and again or do you ensure to work hard and correct your answers? Similarly in life, when history keeps on repeating itself it is time to analyse if things needs to be done differently.
Life is simple. Change your perspective & you will change your reality.
Well.. umm.. that is my perspective.