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Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago

Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Pre-children: I was going to cloth diaper. Post-children: I did with my daughter, sort of, but not with my twins. Pre-children: No TV until age of 2 and then only 30 minutes a day. Post-children: Ha."

"Because here's another realization I've made as a parent: Everyone's situation is different. There is a story behind every action and inaction. Every parent has his or her own style. Every child has his or her own temperament. What might be a stellar day for my family has been a downright awful day for another -- perhaps the parent's job is in danger, their parent is sick or they just had an argument with their spouse. Perhaps the child is failing math or being bullied at school, or the toddler hasn't slept for two weeks. This can explain the short-temper in the grocery store or the harsher-than-necessary punishment, or the lack of care when it comes to sweets or TV or a late bedtime. We don't know, can't know, someone's entire story."

Read more:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/mom-judgments_b_1319775.html ;

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Parenting Memos
When it comes to advocating, supporting and promoting your child/ren's well-being, what makes you the expert? Since we're not "experts", read relevant memos here. http://www.facebook.com/kidsahoyshop
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A Call for a Movement to Redefine the Successful Life - NYTimes.com

What is success to you?
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25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.By David Lowry, Ph.D.Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional.

"Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-"

Read more:http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/25-manners-every-kid-should-know-by-age-9-2480238.html

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malika bourne's curator insight, August 9, 2013 8:17 AM

Have we forgotten our manners? Sadly, kids now days have not been taught the manners that make others around themm feel more comfortable. In case you forgot, her is a list to teach those little ladies and gentlemen from the get go.

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Women in the Media: You Can't Be What You Can't See | PhD in Parenting

Women in the Media: You Can't Be What You Can't See | PhD in Parenting | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Let Them See

I want our daughters to look out into society and see that they can be anything they want to be. I want them to see women in roles that include President, teacher, mother, lawyer, scientist, construction worker, astronaut, activist, engineer, doctor, farmer and more. I want them to see women expressing opinions, calling the shots, giving expert advice, and standing up for what they believe in. I want them to see women doing all of those things, without people commenting first and foremost on their bodies, their clothing, and their make-up. I want our daughters to believe that they can be anything they want to be, not just because we've told them that, but because they see that mirrored back to them in society.

I want all girls to believe that they have a chance to be whatever they want to be. Not just those girls with the trailblazer gene."

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2012/04/21/women-in-the-media-you-cant-be-what-you-cant-see/

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Best Job | P&G London 2012 Olympic Games Film - UK

"Being a Mum is the hardest job in the world. But it's also the best.

This Procter & Gamble advert honours everything that all Mums do to help their children succeed by showcasing the amazing Mums behind Olympic athletes at the London 2012 Olympic Games."

http://youtu.be/lmgPODFXAQk

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The Secret to Raising Entrepreneurial Kids - Forbes

The Secret to Raising Entrepreneurial Kids - Forbes | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

Richard Branson may have been shy as a boy - but not anymore (Image via Wikipedia) Mary Mazzio – filmmaker-in-residence at entrepreneurial hotbed Babson College – has made a name for herself chronicling the success stories of business innovators.

"So what has Mazzio learned from interviewing global entrepreneurs? Her surprising answer is that entrepreneurship can be taught – and her films have inspired her to raise her own children differently. Here are four lessons from the world’s top business leaders that Mazzio has incorporated into her family’s life."

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dorieclark/2012/02/01/the-secret-to-raising-entrepreneurial-kids/

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Bullying in Assumption San Lorenzo | Facebook

Bullying in Assumption San Lorenzo | Facebook | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

:=( This ain't no laughing matter. No to Bullying in schools, in the workplace, in life, wherever!

 

"Bullying is an epidemic. It is a disease that has to be addressed properly, decisively, and with a concerted effort. I just recently read an article about a father who committed suicide a year after his son committed suicide because of bullying. Bullying affects everyone. That is why there is no way that bullying should be allowed to propagate in our schools, and especially not in the first grade. The school has to be more proactive with this matter. The parents have to be aware of their daughter's actions and held responsible for this.

 

I will not allow my daughter to suffer. I will not allow this instance to taint her precious and important childhood. I will fight, using my hands and fists if necessary, to protect her. My wife and I stand together with our daughter. We are strong and unafraid. We will not cower to fear and intimidation. We will not allow guilt or abuse to run rampant.

 

Bullying has no place in this world. It has to stop."- Noni Odulio

Read more:https://www.facebook.com/notes/noni-odulio/bullying-in-assumption-san-lorenzo/10150697257510110

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Are We Raising Good Citizens? | Psychology Today

Are We Raising Good Citizens? | Psychology Today | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

Democracy demands a responsible, organized, and innovative citizenry By Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D....

"What Makes a GREAT Citizen?

No matter how young or old, everyone can make their mark on the world through good citizenship. But we have the capacity to help children and teenagers become GREAT citizens -- compassionate people who are responsible, organized, and innovative. Not only will they serve the good of the nation but they will become tomorrow's ethical business leaders, parents, and workers. While we know this is how democracy thrives, there is one hitch. Citizenship is developed during childhood and adolescence."

"In a democracy, children and adults express citizenship in three ways, through:

-Responsible actions

-Leadership

-Innovative thinking

The more children learn to develop skills and abilities that support citizenship, the greater mark they make on the world. It's that simple. Democracies need citizens to play three roles and the more roles people play, the greater society thrives. Parents and educators influence how kids view citizenship and how they eventually turn ideas and passion into action."

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Tiger Moms: Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer?

Tiger Moms: Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer? | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother author Amy Chua's proudly politically incorrect account of raising her children...
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» 9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn :zenhabits

» 9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn :zenhabits | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"How then to prepare our kids for a world that is unpredictable, unknown? By teaching them to adapt, to deal with change, to be prepared for anything by not preparing them for anything specific.

 

This requires an entirely different approach to child-rearing and education. It means leaving our old ideas at the door, and reinventing everything."

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Controlling Parents More Likely to Have Delinquent Children

Controlling Parents More Likely to Have Delinquent Children | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"The researchers evaluated three parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.


Authoritative parents are both demanding and controlling, but they are also warm and receptive to their children’s needs. They are receptive to bidirectional communication in that they explain to their children why they have established rules and also listen to their children’s opinions about those rules. Children of authoritative parents tend to be self-reliant, self-controlled, and content.


On the other hand, authoritarian parents are demanding and highly controlling, but detached and unreceptive to their children’s needs. These parents support unilateral communication where they establish rules without explanation and expect them to be obeyed without complaint or question. Authoritarian parenting produces children who are discontent, withdrawn, and distrustful.


Finally, in contrast to authoritarian parenting, permissive parents are nondemanding and noncontrolling. They tend to be warm and receptive to their children’s needs, but place few boundaries on their children. If they do establish rules, they rarely enforce them to any great extent. These parents tend to produce children who are the least self-reliant, explorative, and self-controlled out of all the parenting styles."

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If a Parent Who Reads to Her Child is "Good," is One Who Doesn't "Bad?"

If a Parent Who Reads to Her Child is "Good," is One Who Doesn't "Bad?" | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it
if you're a parent struggling to make ends meet, you're probably going to choose to spend $1.99 for a gallon at Aldi rather than $6.99 for organic at Whole Foods. Does that mean you don't care as much about the health of your child?
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Helicopter Parents Hover In The Workplace : NPR

So-called helicopter parents have hit the workplace, phoning employers to advocate on behalf of their adult children. Human resource managers say more parents are trying to negotiate salary and benefits and are even sitting in on job interviews.
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9 Ways to Raise a Global Kid

9 Ways to Raise a Global Kid | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Help your child appreciate other cultures."

"Giving children a more global outlook prepares them for the future. They'll be more likely to be able to tackle the environmental, economic, political, technological, and public-health challenges they'll inherit, says Fernando M. Reimers, Ed.D., professor of international education at Harvard Graduate School of Education. And experts agree that a global perspective is going to be a key skill in our ever more digitally connected workplace. "Companies on the S & P 500 now generate 46 percent of their profits outside the U.S.," says Mortenson. "If you want students who are capable and competitive, we need to be able to prepare them differently. Kids who grow up with an international outlook are comfortable knowing that there may not be one clear-cut answer but a variety of perspectives."

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Motherhood: The Invisible Profession | Psychology Today

Motherhood: The Invisible Profession | Psychology Today | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"The hardest job I've ever had is being a mother."

"Through this haze, they must learn to be master interpreters of their child's behavior, reflexively using hypothetico-deductive reasoning to decipher the secret codes of their baby's cries, movements, facial expressions, connecting them to what had come just before and testing out their theories. Every mother is a Behavioral Scientist whose dissertation subject is her children, and who is regularly assessing the methodological errors in her "experiments." Her feelings of love are fueled by feelings of achievement, her own and her children's, as she remembers with each step all the tumbles that had preceded it. Only, her doctoral work is never complete, and a degree never awarded. Children are like the Borg on Star Trek; as soon as you've mastered one set of their behaviors, they shift to a new frequency, and the learning curve starts again. We may wait many years before we, and society, see some of the ultimate results of our work."

Read more: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201204/my-mother-myself/motherhood-the-invisible-profession

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Bucket list for kids: 50 things to do before they’re 12

Bucket list for kids: 50 things to do before they’re 12 | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

Along with keeping children fit, Mr. Hoelterhoff said research shows time outside in nature improves a child’s ability to focus and concentrate, key skills for learning, and also reduces depression. “We know that when kids are outside they learn better,” said Mr. Hoelterhoff. He says the list provides a “gentle reminder” to parents to make green play a priority, alongside other activities like ballet or hockey.

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Kidecals's curator insight, July 31, 3:28 PM

Super cute list of 50 things for your kids to do before they're 12!

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Parents Of A Child With Autism Develop ABA Training Program For Families, Professionals And Schools.

Parents Of A Child With Autism Develop ABA Training Program For Families, Professionals And Schools. | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

The Autism News | Special Guest When Christy and Garrett Butch had their son Collin in 2002 they had all the dreams and aspirations that any other parents have for their child.

“When we stared this organization, we never dreamed that we would be where we are today stated Garrett. It has taken on a life of its own and we are looking forward to the next phase to help give your children a fighting chance”

http://theautismnews.com/2012/04/20/parents-of-a-child-with-autism-develop-aba-training-program-for-families-professionals-and-schools/

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A little movie about a little team — and a big message | Sportsmanship Blog

A little movie about a little team — and a big message | Sportsmanship Blog | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"We LOVE this little 9-minute movie about a soccer team of 5- and 6-year-olds who have never won a game and never scored a goal, but maintain great, sportsmanlike attitudes through it all."

"That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning." - RICHARD BACH, The Bridge Across Forever

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Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago

Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Pre-children: I was going to cloth diaper. Post-children: I did with my daughter, sort of, but not with my twins. Pre-children: No TV until age of 2 and then only 30 minutes a day. Post-children: Ha."

"Because here's another realization I've made as a parent: Everyone's situation is different. There is a story behind every action and inaction. Every parent has his or her own style. Every child has his or her own temperament. What might be a stellar day for my family has been a downright awful day for another -- perhaps the parent's job is in danger, their parent is sick or they just had an argument with their spouse. Perhaps the child is failing math or being bullied at school, or the toddler hasn't slept for two weeks. This can explain the short-temper in the grocery store or the harsher-than-necessary punishment, or the lack of care when it comes to sweets or TV or a late bedtime. We don't know, can't know, someone's entire story."

Read more:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/mom-judgments_b_1319775.html ;

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Tragedy in Ohio: When the Bullied Strike Back

Tragedy in Ohio: When the Bullied Strike Back | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Bullying is not, as some allege, some mandatory rite of passage that young people must endure on their journey to adulthood. This is not "kids just being kids." This is a murderous game that young people are playing all across this country."

"When we asked kids, both the bullies and the bullied, "Where were your parents or teachers or other adults when all of this was happening?" many of them said the same type of thing:"I try to look like I'm happy for my parents" or "This school stuff is just a stupid drama." Researchers tell us that this nonchalance is a protective mechanism for kids -- an attempt to "diminish the importance of what is happening to them." Researchers also say that parents and teachers are often so distracted by other problems -- at home, in the classroom -- that they don't recognize the signs of bullying. "

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The Only Child: Debunking the Myths

The Only Child: Debunking the Myths | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Only children are supposed to be spoiled, selfish and lonely."

"A Stereotype Is Born
The image of the lonely only — or at least the legitimizing of that idea — was the work of one man, Granville Stanley Hall. About 120 years ago, Hall established one of the first American psychology-research labs and was a leader of the child-study movement. A national network of study groups called Hall Clubs existed to spread his teachings. But what he is most known for today is supervising the 1896 study "Of Peculiar and Exceptional Children," which described a series of only-child oddballs as permanent misfits. Hall — and every other fledgling psychologist — knew close to nothing about credible research practices. Yet for decades, academics and advice columnists alike disseminated his conclusion that an only child could not be expected to go through life with the same capacity for adjustment that children with siblings possessed. "Being an only child is a disease in itself," he claimed."

"Generally, those studies showed that singletons aren't measurably different from other kids — except that they, along with firstborns and people who have only one sibling, score higher in measures of intelligence and achievement. No one, Falbo says, has published research that can demonstrate any truth behind the stereotype of the only child as lonely, selfish and maladjusted. (She has spoken those three words so many times in the past 35 years that they run together as one: lonelyselfishmaladjusted.) Falbo and Polit later completed a second quantitative review of more than 200 personality studies. By and large, they found that the personalities of only children were indistinguishable from their peers with siblings."

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Teaching Self-Control, the American Way

Teaching Self-Control, the American Way | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"Rather than emulating the strict discipline of child-rearing in other cultures, it’s more useful to consider the science of successful parenting in all countries."

"In any culture, the development of self-control is crucial. This ability, which depends on the prefrontal cortex, provides the basis for mental flexibility, social skills and discipline. It predicts success in education, career and marriag...e. Indeed, childhood self-control is twice as important as intelligence in predicting academic achievement. Conversely, poor self-control in elementary school increases the risk of adult financial difficulties, criminal behavior, single parenthood and drug dependence. "

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How do children build trust? Where do they begin? 8 tips to consider.

How do children build trust? Where do they begin? 8 tips to consider. | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"The children who grow up in homes where love is offered, boundaries are given, eye contact is made, games are played, laughter is free flowing, violence is non-existent and time is spent together...are likely to grow up to be healthy, happy, loving, emotionally intelligent grown-ups."

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SMART PARENTING: Stop comparing, start living - New Straits Times

SMART PARENTING: Stop comparing, start living - New Straits Times | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"As parents, this is also a critical step to do for our children. Truly successful parents are those who can maximise their children’s capabilities, not those who can achieve the highest goals at the expense of their childhood.

 

The first step is to encourage our kids to find and understand their own strengths and weaknesses. We must also stop the urge to compare their academic performance or behaviours with siblings, friends or worst, their cousins.

 

While we can point out other people’s achievements or good behaviours, we must be very careful in doing so because children will pick up the wrong signals. If we say things like “Why can’t you be more like your cousins?” the children may read that the parents prefer their cousins to them. That is a very bad signal as it will definitely damage the good parent-child relationships. When this happens, it is very hard to get back on track and we may have temporarily lost their trust."

 

Read more: SMART PARENTING: Stop comparing, start living - Sunday Life & Times - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/life-times/sunday-life-times/smart-parenting-stop-comparing-start-living-1.45177#ixzz1mFJy4s4f

SMART PARENTING: Stop comparing, start living

New Straits TimesBy Zaid Mohamad 

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Social factors in the development of early executive functioning: a closer look at the caregiving environment - Bernier - 2011 - Developmental Science - Wiley Online Library

Social factors in the development of early executive functioning: a closer look at the caregiving environment - Bernier - 2011 - Developmental Science - Wiley Online Library | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

"This study investigated prospective links between quality of the early caregiving environment and children’s subsequent executive functioning (EF). Sixty-two families were met on five occasions, allowing for assessment of maternal interactive behavior, paternal interactive behavior, and child attachment security between 1 and 2 years of age, and child EF at 2 and 3 years. The results suggested that composite scores of parental behavior and child attachment were related to child performance on EF tasks entailing strong working memory and cognitive flexibility components (conflict-EF). In particular, child attachment security was related to conflict-EF performance at 3 years above and beyond what was explained by a combination of all other social antecedents of child EF identified thus far: child verbal ability and prior EF, family SES, and parenting behavior. Attachment security may thus play a meaningful role in young children’s development of executive control."

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What's Wrong With the Teenage Mind?

What's Wrong With the Teenage Mind? | Parenting Memos | Scoop.it

Children today reach puberty earlier and adulthood later. The result: a lot of teenage weirdness. Alison Gopnik on how we might readjust adolescence.

"Recent studies in the neuroscientist B.J. Casey's lab at Cornell University suggest that adolescents aren't reckless because they underestimate risks, but because they overestimate rewards—or, rather, find rewards more rewarding than adults do. The reward centers of the adolescent brain are much more active than those of either children or adults. Think about the incomparable intensity of first love, the never-to-be-recaptured glory of the high-school basketball championship." 

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