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|Scooped by Christopher Pearsall|
I found this article interesting because I do not yet find this to be the situation in Rhode Island. As a North Carolina family court blog I wondered if this was more a projection of one lawyer's take on what is or may be happening or if it is merely a perspective because of a few recent cases a North Carolina lawyer has seen.
What peeked my curiosity as well as my ire a bit was the phrase something to the effect that the "allowing a father to be more active."
When should we have EVER been allowed to be more active in our child's lives? What have the court's been doing? Well, even as is implied by the blog post, the courts have been stripping us of our fatherhood! How nice that we aren't equal with the mothers for no reason at all! I've seen many men who are more caring than the mother but they still get relegated to second place.
Does that mean I'm anti-mom? Far from it! Some mothers are absolutely fantastic and I admire them so much for all they do is just phenomenal. So what is my position? Both parents should always be equal and always "should have been so" but the court's haven't taken that tact.
I can boil my position down pretty easily. I'm anti-dad if the dad isn't doing what's best for the kids and is basically being and obvious jerk to the mother and/or to the children.
Conversely (sorry... fairly ill today so it's taking me longer to think of the words I want....) I'm anti-mom if she's just downing the father, alienating the children from their father, declining dad his parenting time and generally just hurting the kids because she still hates her ex-husband or boyfriend. In other words, she's not doing what is best for the children.
Yet it should always start out with both the mother and the father having equal time with the children unless that would not work for some reason due to work or because the parents do not co-parent well, etc.
For now, I continue to see mothers as being favored simply because they are mothers even when some fathers are better mothers than the mothers are.
I can only hope it changes.