Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide
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Mourning: from end of life and last rites to kaddish and good griefwork
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Memorial and Emergency Fundraising | Razoo.com

Memorial and Emergency Fundraising | Razoo.com | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
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Judith van Praag's insight:
A heads up for the emergency fundraising platform as Razoo calls itself. Seeing and ad on my Facebook timeline seems appropriate in the light of the massacre at the Orlando LGBT nightclub; this kind of tuning in to people's needs is exactly what we've come to expect from our Social Media providers.  

Yet "Emergency Fundraising" doesn't quite cover what Razoo makes possible, those words bring to mind earthquakes, fire, flooding, death of a bread winner, but the text on Razoo's homepage says, "You can launch a memorial fundraiser to honor the memory of a loved one." 

How welcome such a message can be when one is hit by disaster. On a personal scale I recall the funeral director who came to my room at the hospital in Amsterdam and told us an announcement of our baby's birth and death in the newspaper was an unnecessary expense, for "Nobody had known her, and our printed cards would be send to friends and family." Years later another funeral director would tell us an announcement of my 85-year-old mother's passing was unnecessary since "There would be hardly anybody left who knew her." How wrong both men were.

 If anything the announcements in the newspapers of our loss(es) would've reached a larger circle of acquaintances. 

The reason why we may not have pushed on, telling the funeral directors cost was not the issue, was that we didn't have that much money, and their advice seemed plausible. But, oh, how I've regretted our decision to go with their suggestion! We weren't the kind of people who would ask for help, in any way, financial or otherwise. Fundraising for projects or individuals is one thing, when it comes down to asking help in regards to my own needs, that's something I'm slowly learning to do.
 
These days raising funds for a cause, for a project or even for something you've always dreamed to do, such as a trip to your family's homeland to find your roots, or make rubbings of an ancestor's gravestone is not frowned upon, people often are more than happy to pitch in. 

Just two days after the tragedy in Orlando, many will welcome Facebook's heads up, being able to raise funds to memorialize a loved one is a mitzvah, (Razoo) a good deed indeed. 



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Stephanie's best weapon against grief - A Wide Mercy

Stephanie's best weapon against grief - A Wide Mercy | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
I have so much I want to say – about how I think raising a big family is easier than a small one, and the powerful ways our theology ripples through our lives, how I don’t know what it means to trust God anymore and how, in a few weeks, I will get...
Judith van Praag's insight:
Wearing her heart on her sleeve, Stephanie grieves the death of her son and shares her thoughts on sadness, her coping skills with readers of her blog. 
For anyone who has suffered the loss of a child, for anyone mourns a young life's ending, you may find some solace in recognizing the writer's musings. 
Do respond to her writing if she touches your hear. 
This, I know from experience means a lot.
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A New Vision for Dreams of the Dying

A New Vision for Dreams of the Dying | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
A team of clinicians and researchers is trying to understand the importance of deathbed dreams to help the ill and the bereaved.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Before death and dying, there are dreams and visions. These "may offer comfort not only for the dying, but for their mourners."

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Grief Beyond Belief - Faith-free Support for Bereaved and Bereft Mourners

Grief Beyond Belief - Faith-free Support for  Bereaved and Bereft Mourners | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Judith van Praag's insight:

Thanks to Twitter I discovered an article on Salon.com about this Atheist network founded for people who seek a supportive community without religieus overtones. Googling Grief Beyond Belief, I discover surprisingly nothing new has been posted on the blog since July 27, 2015. Opportunity strikes in unexpected place. Here we go.

Not embracing a religion doesn't necessarily mean the end of year/ holiday season comes and goes without stirring painful memories that result in strong emotions. If anything, the end of the year makes us reflect on what was, and what we imagine may be ahead of us. 

 

We all meet for comfort and for that sense of community that makes us feel stronger, less alone in the world. Many miss someone in their midst, at the table, in a movie theater, or on a walk in the park. 

 

For me the end of December is fraught with sad memories, in chronological order my first wedding (even though that non-event now makes for a funny story); looking forward to a baby that still had to be born in the old year, and died in the new at birth, albeit not as stillborn; the death of my mother. 

 

For years we found solace in remembrance and creating our own faith-free rituals, sharing stories, baking traditional wavers that symbolized the old and new. 

 

This end of the year we celebrate an awakening, the renewed active pursuit of creativity, of finishing projects, of sharing with a growing community.

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Joan Didion, Writing a Story After an Ending

Joan Didion, Writing a Story After an  Ending | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Joan Didion's memoir The Year of Magical Thinking is about grieving for her husband, fellow writer John Gregory Dunne. He died suddenly at the end of 2003, while their daughter was hospitalized with pneumonia.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Terry Gross asks Joan Didion at the end of this 2005 interview if she is worried about her own death. 

Didion answers tearfully: No, I'm not. ...We are afraid of leaving people behind... I am not not leaving anybody behind...

Gross catches herself, acknowledging she was fearful to talk with the author, her losses still so fresh, and the conversation continues.

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80,0000 graves online at 1500 cemeteries

80,0000 graves online at 1500 cemeteries | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Online Begraafplaatsen. Grafmonumenten in Nederland. Vrijwel iedere begraafplaats in kaart. Foto's van de graven.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Forgetting what you've done sometimes results in pleasant surprises. Ancestry.com invited me to follow a link to information about my father. Of course I had submitted the photograph of his gravestone myself, but forgotten all about it. Now the page is bookmarked and this here scoop.it! will be a reminder. 

 

The mistake on the gravestone can't be fixed, but my year of birth can, and a volunteer will add my mom's name and the year that we added her ashes to my father's grave to the info already on the site. 

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Joe Biden's 2012 advice to grieving families is all the more poignant now

"There will come a day – I promise you, and your parents as well – when the thought of your son or daughter, or your husband or wife, brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye."
Judith van Praag's insight:

A leader who knows personal deep grief offers support and wisdom from the heart, from the core of his being. My thoughts go out to Joe Biden and his family during this time of mourning. May their memories be of solace. 

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Memorial Video: 'Dear Puck, you'll be with us forever' - Famme

Memorial Video: 'Dear Puck, you'll be with us forever' - Famme | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Gisteren ontvingen we een video op de redactie. De titel luidde: ‘Lieve Puck, je blijft altijd bij ons’. We wisten gelijk dat het om een ontroerende video zou zijn, maar dat het zó aangrijpend en sterk tegelijkertijd was, dat konden we nooit raden. Merel en haar man zijn trotse ouders van drie zoons en ze […]
Judith van Praag's insight:

The text on the website of Famme is in Dutch, but the black and white video speaks for itself. Meral delivers still born baby girl at 37 weeks gestation. Her three little boys have ben looking forward to meeting their sister, and during the pregnancy they gave her the nickname (ukke = little) Puck. The video shows how the family says goodbye to the long awaited little girl.

Touching, and recognizable.

 

My heart goes out to Meral and her husband, their boys, family and friends. Making this memorial video is only the beginning of a long process. Kudos to the parents for allowing their boys to say goodbye in such a meaningful way. 

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'Grief is a lifetime process': American military widows unite to face their loss - The Guardian

'Grief is a lifetime process': American military widows unite to face their loss - The Guardian | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Taryn Davis hit an ‘all-time low’ after her husband’s death in Iraq, and now her American Widow Project helps others face the same devastation
Judith van Praag's insight:

A book for military widows will be most welcome. 

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Call for Grief Writing

Call for Grief Writing | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Click to view the prizes and the judges Click here to enter the competition Click here to download a poster for your noticeboard
Judith van Praag's insight:

Poets and writers, submit your grief writing for this anthology!

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Judith van Praag's curator insight, March 21, 2015 11:29 PM

A writing contest for inclusion in an anthology on grieve. 

♥ princess leia ♥'s curator insight, May 3, 2015 6:03 PM

Grief 

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MoMA | Jean Dubuffet: Memories from Nature

MoMA | Jean Dubuffet: Memories from Nature | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
MoMA | Jean Dubuffet: Memories from Nature
Judith van Praag's insight:

Not quite a site on mourning and grief, but working with leaves and creating monoprints can be a Creative Act of Healing.

 

Creating memorial prints, incorporating thoughts, combining imprints made by lost loved ones, eternalizing moments in time soothes our mind and provides solace. The making and the —made to remember—   leading to mementoes we cherish. 

Visit the site, read about Dubuffet and embark on an adventure. Bring together people of all ages for creative acts of healing. 

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How to Recognize Complicated Grief | The Center for Complicated Grief

Judith van Praag's insight:

Sometimes people say of their relationship that it is complicated. 

Complicated grief is not just complicated. 

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Special Concert: "Kaddish - I am Here" - YouTube

On September 8, 2011, a unique concert featuring the stirring words of Holocaust survivors, performed by the Jerusalem Symphony Orchestra - IBA, soloists and...
Judith van Praag's insight:

Kaddish is the prayer for the living.

Hearing a gazzan or cantor, or the rabbi sing brings solace to the mourners.


This haunting modern piece is too much for me, now.

Perhaps another day. 

 

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art heals | the soulful social worker

art heals | the soulful social worker | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Today on the blog- my family's journey through #grief , loss and the healing power of #art https://t.co/hSY8FXg690 https://t.co/Ynn4y9VfFU
Judith van Praag's insight:
Katie accompanied her widowed mom to a paint & sip night out. They got hooked on the creative act of expressing their grief and love on the canvas, after ten visits Katie bought her own easel. 

Creative acts of healing are sometimes only a Groupon away. I wasn't really out to advertise for that discount platform, but that's how I know about group painting activities. 

I have thought of attending one for pet painting just to mix and mingle with others, to have night away from my own studio, from family caregiving. Perhaps I will jump on the opportunity next time I see the ad. Sometimes you just need an excuse to get out of your familiar surroundings.
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Facing Fear after Loss

Facing Fear after Loss | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
How to Help Clients Face Fear So That It Doesn’t Rule Their Lives
Judith van Praag's insight:
The linked video is about facing fear in general, about anxiety and how to take control (perhaps by letting go of controlling) a situation. Yet, prolonged or denied grief may result in fear. A good reason to take it in, use or delete.
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The right words matter when talking about pain

The right words matter when talking about pain | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
A critical task in pain psychology is to help people learn to rephrase their inner monologue so it becomes more realistic and supportive.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Why scoop up this article for the department of mourning & grief? Losing someone we love can cause heart ache, a pain that may travel through our body to find a place where it settles. When people use the wrong language, say the wrong things, the pain associated with mourning and grief can get worse. 

Most of us don't learn the language of loss until we are bereaved.

Often it's the bereft who teach those around them what mourning is all about, which words support us in our darkest hours and which don't. That's why you find this article on words and pain in this collection. Minding your words can make a huge difference!

 

 

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Scott Weiland's Family: 'Don't Glorify This Tragedy' | Rolling Stone

Scott Weiland's Family: 'Don't Glorify This Tragedy' | Rolling Stone | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Judith van Praag's insight:

Mary, Noah and Lucy tell it as it is. 

Do you know a child who's missing out on parental presence and active parenting? Whether the parent is dead or alive?
Become a Big Brother or Sister, auntie, uncle or whatever you want to call yourself, or have them call you.
If you have the means, take them out for lunch, treat them to a game, a play, a concert, a visit to the zoo. 
If all you have is time, give some to a child in need of company, take them to a park, explore the world, be the king or queen of cheap and celebrate IRL (in real life) interaction. 

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Living my new normal: The Parallel Universe

Judith van Praag's insight:

A beautiful piece of remembrance, loss, grief and carrying on.

Mind you, I didn't write "recovery", who am I to say that? Recovery of what? Life before ... what? Before the loss, before the wedding, before knowing her man? 

Elizabeth Riley lived through the first year of seasons without her husband. walked the walk of widowhood for one year and is still standing. 

Writing about our days, creating our own book of mourning allows us to look back and gauge where we were a year before, possibly this shows a development of coping, of survival, of learning how to live life without the beloved. 

 

As a paper maker I appreciate the background of the blog, the dried flower petals and springs of grass a metaphor for life and death and the lasting beauty of memories. 

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Doris Salcedo Memorializes Murder Victims - Exquisite Mourning

Doris Salcedo Memorializes Murder Victims - Exquisite Mourning | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
The artist, who grew up in Colombia during an era when civic murder was a way of life, has made brutal memories the essence of a witnessing art.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Art does not give answers, only poses questions. ~ Doris Salcedo

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Poetry Kept Patient Alive - Doctor Writes Tribute Poem

Poetry Kept Patient Alive - Doctor Writes Tribute Poem | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
It soothed. It agitated. It connected him to others.
Judith van Praag's insight:

Grieving psycho therapist finds twinkle in patient's difficult life.

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Technology And Grief

Technology And Grief | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
ace to face, people didn't seem to know what to say.
Judith van Praag's insight:

The Facebook page of a deceased friend provides solace for his sons, relatives and friends. Even three years after his death we meet one another there, looking at old pictures, remember him on his birthday. In contrast, the deactivated Facebook page of a poet friend leaves us, her virtual friends at a loss. 

There's definitely something to say for keeping the virtual gathering place accessible after the death of the account holder.

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Does social media also give us a fear of missing out ... on grief? - The Guardian

Does social media also give us a fear of missing out ... on grief? - The Guardian | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
When everyone else is grieving a public figure, maybe it’s OK if you don’t experience the same sadness as your friends. Maybe it’s educational
Judith van Praag's insight:

The death of a public figure can give us a reason to mourn our own losses in public. If we don't feel the need to do so, that's fine. I bet that many readers have gone through similar experiences as the writer of this piece, and that's all right. 

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French Hair Art & The Industry and Art of Mourning

French Hair Art & The Industry and Art of Mourning | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
A little Friday morning mourning art for #heathens @SalemWGNA from the @ArtOfMourning http://t.co/d9x0r0hLvV http://t.co/qBjE0b17jC
Judith van Praag's insight:

The European examples make me think of hair mourning art pieces we saw at a museum in Baker City, Oregon. Until then the only use of human hair, retrieved from brushes and after shampooing that I was familiar with, was stuffing pin cushions. 

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Wim Brands Interviews René Gude

Wim Brands Interviews René Gude | Mourning & Griefwork Worldwide | Scoop.it
Twee gesprekken van Wim Brands met René Gude over ‘leven met de dood’. Wat wil je nalaten aan je nabestaanden? Waar gaat het om in het leven? Hoe valt er te leven met een aangezegde dood?
Judith van Praag's insight:

The ethicist, the official Thinker of the Netherlands, philosopher René Gude died a few days ago. In this interview he talks about his attitude towards impending death, about never having talked more, shared more thoughts since he wrote his "Last Words" column for the national Dutch daily NRC.

Contrary to Armstrong, he doesn't deny the prognosis, and his death, he acknowledges his fate while working harder than ever before. Not because he's in denial about his situation, but because he was so wanted, and so eager to stay in contact with other people. 

Instead of saying goodbye, he lives, he lived, and now lives on in all he offered to us.

 

Skepticism: Learn to be open to the undetermined.

Stoicism: Don't give rational meaning to emotions, just let them come (like ebb and tide of a wave) and be. 

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Henryk Górecki - Symphony No. 3 of "Sorrowful Songs" | Dawn Upshaw. London Sinfonietta, David Zinman - YouTube

Henryk Mikołaj Górecki (1933-2010). Symphony Nº 3, Op. 36, "The Symphony of Sorrowful Songs", 1976. Video Performance and Documentary: http://youtu.be/dp7ij5...
Judith van Praag's insight:

Play this when you're tired of Mozart's requiem. 

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