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5 Common Parenting Habits that Hurt Sibling Relationships

5 Common Parenting Habits that Hurt Sibling Relationships | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
I don't care how perfect you are as a parent, there are going to be some occasions when your children squabble. This is why Erma Bombeck's timeless wisdom resonates: "Never have more children than ...
Gina Stepp's insight:

This was inspired by a recent video that came across my Facebook feed. A father videotaping a son's meltdown at the news he was having a little sister. Some great parenting opportunities were entirely missed there because preparing kids for accepting a new sibling starts before the baby is born. Don't try this at home, folks!

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Parents and Teachers: Partners in Building Healthy Brains

Parents and Teachers: Partners in Building Healthy Brains | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
Teacher Appreciation Week has passed, along with "Mom Appreciation Day," but parents and teachers continue the important work of shaping children's brains all year long. Unfortunately, there are ch...
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Growing Empathy, Child by Child

Growing Empathy, Child by Child | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

You're never too young to be a teacher. At least, that's the philosophy of Mary Gordon, founder of a program called "Roots of Empathy," which brings babies into classrooms around the world.

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You Don't Have to Be a Perfect Parent to Be a Good Parent

You Don't Have to Be a Perfect Parent to Be a Good Parent | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
One of the biggest emotional hurdles for parents to overcome when dealing with a special needs child is the feeling we have failed because we cannot make our child, and their world, perfect.
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Mothers' Behavior during Playtime Linked to Young Children's Engagement with Them

Mothers' Behavior during Playtime Linked to Young Children's Engagement with Them | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
Affectionate, less controlling mothers have strongest relationships with their children, says research from the University of Missouri.
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Natalie Stewart's curator insight, February 5, 2013 11:14 PM

“Children flourish when they have opportunities to make choices about what they do, particularly in play situations,” said Jean Ispa, lead author of the study and professor of human development and family studies at MU. “Mothers who are highly directive do not allow that kind of choice. In our study, the children were playing with some toys, and the very directive mothers were making the decisions about how to play, what to play and how quickly to play.”

 

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Modern parenting may hinder brain development, research suggests

Modern parenting may hinder brain development, research suggests | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
Social practices and cultural beliefs of modern life are preventing healthy brain and emotional development in children, according to an interdisciplinary body of research.

 

Studies show that responding to a baby's needs (not letting a baby "cry it out") has been shown to influence the development of conscience; positive touch affects stress reactivity, impulse control and empathy; free play in nature influences social capacities and aggression; and a set of supportive caregivers (beyond the mother alone) predicts IQ and ego resilience as well as empathy.

 

The United States has been on a downward trajectory on all of these care characteristics, according to Narvaez. Instead of being held, infants spend much more time in carriers, car seats and strollers than they did in the past. Only about 15 percent of mothers are breast-feeding at all by 12 months, extended families are broken up and free play allowed by parents has decreased dramatically since 1970.

 

Whether the corollary to these modern practices or the result of other forces, an epidemic of anxiety and depression among all age groups, including young children; rising rates of aggressive behavior and delinquency in young children; and decreasing empathy, the backbone of compassionate, moral behavior, among college students, are shown in research.

 

According to Narvaez, however, other relatives and teachers also can have a beneficial impact when a child feels safe in their presence. Also, early deficits can be made up later, she says.

Gina Stepp's insight:

This is not "one"  study. It's a body of research by many scientists across several different fields of research.

More of the story can be found in these two clusters of articles:

 

Born to Connect:
http://www.mom-psych.com/Articles/Attachment-Theory/index.html ;


Core Competencies for Positive Youth Development
http://www.mom-psych.com/Articles/Family-Relationships/Child-Development/Competencies-Overview-GS1008.html  ;

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Lon Woodbury's curator insight, January 8, 2013 1:23 PM

This is not "one"  study. It's a body of research by many scientists across several different fields of research.

More of the story can be found in these two clusters of articles:

 

Born to Connect:
http://www.mom-psych.com/Articles/Attachment-Theory/index.html 


Core Competencies for Positive Youth Development
http://www.mom-psych.com/Articles/Family-Relationships/Child-Development/Competencies-Overview-GS1008.html  

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Parental Bonding Makes for Happy, Stable Child

Parental Bonding Makes for Happy, Stable Child | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

After about 70 years of study bolstering attachment theory (since John Bowlby's famous 1940 research) we have yet another piece of the puzzle: Infants who have a close, intimate relationship with "at least one parent" are less likely to experience emotional or behavioral problems in childhood, according to a University of Iowa study.

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» Many Helicopter Moms Prone to Crash and Burn - Psych Central News

» Many Helicopter Moms Prone to Crash and Burn   - Psych Central News | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

In a nation of supermoms and tiger moms, experts hope a new study may cause some to take notice as researchers have found that an intensive parenting style may damage a mother’s mental health.

 

Study authors surmise that mothers may think that an aggressive and domineering style makes them better mothers, so they are willing to sacrifice their own mental health to enhance their children’s cognitive, social and emotional outcomes.

 

“In reality, intensive parenting may have the opposite effect on children from what parents intend,” the authors said.

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Teens look to parents more than friends for sexual role models

Sometimes parents need to remind themselves: they are the most important role model for their kids. This is a few months old, but an important reminder: The results of a national online study show that 45 percent consider their parents to be their sexuality role model.

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The science of attachment parenting

The science of attachment parenting | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
What scientific studies reveal about attachment parenting.

 

[Following the curation rules, identifying my own comments-GS: I think what hurts this "cause" is that some in the "movement" are separating it as a "movement," or "cause" or something outside the norm. I get that identifying it as a "movement" may bring attention, but it also antagonizes others. "Attachment parenting" is a name that got "attached" to a common sense, evidence-based understanding. It's not meant to be as regimented as some make it, so please don't be put off by it. Children need the connections that are encouraged by these folks. Seriously. Generations of children that were sent off to boarding school so their parents could freely live their own lives should have taught us that much! How much resilience did their kids grow up with?) Okay. Off my soapbox.]

 

 

 


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Bullying: Why Social and Emotional Learning in Schools Is Paramount to Prevention

Bullying: Why Social and Emotional Learning in Schools Is Paramount to Prevention | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
How does a child reach the point that they become a bully? Could the things our caregivers say and do, while well-intentioned, set the stage for bullying behavior to later surface?

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Why 49% of preschoolers don’t go outside to play

Why 49% of preschoolers don’t go outside to play | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

Does your preschooler go outside to play at least once a day? If not, is it because you feel you need to supervise if they do?


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Clues to young children's aggressive behavior uncovered by new study

"Children who are persistently aggressive, defiant, and explosive by the time they're in kindergarten very often have tumultuous relationships with their parents from early on. A new longitudinal study suggests that a cycle involving parenting styles and hostility between mothers and toddlers is at play."


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Parenting with Social Media Can Help Teens Feel Closer to Parents

Parenting with Social Media Can Help Teens Feel Closer to Parents | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
Teens that interact with their parents on social media have higher rates of “pro-social” behavior and feel closer to their parents, says BYU study.
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Lon Woodbury's curator insight, July 16, 2013 1:35 PM

This is one of the reasons I like social media - it is a great help in keeping in touch with my family. -Lon

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From Mice to Humans, Comfort is Being Carried by Mom

From Mice to Humans, Comfort is Being Carried by Mom | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
From humans to mice, mammalian infants become calm and relaxed when they are carried by their mother,
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Core Competencies for Kids: Moral Intelligence

Core Competencies for Kids: Moral Intelligence | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
What aspects of moral thinking are known to benefit children and teens, and how much of a role do parents play in helping them develop these skills?
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Solving Common Family Problems

Solving Common Family Problems | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

No matter how positive and empathic we are as parents, kids will occasionally still argue and misbehave, and there will be family problems. 

 

Kenneth Barish, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at Cornell University's Weill Medical College, offers five concrete steps that will help parents solve most of the common issues they will encounter.

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Use Your Full Vocabulary With Kids—They’ll Learn More That Way « Annie Murphy Paul

Use Your Full Vocabulary With Kids—They’ll Learn More That Way « Annie Murphy Paul | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

"Many of us with young kids consciously limit the vocabulary we use with them, wanting to make sure that they’ll understand what we’re saying without having to struggle with an unfamiliar word. But a new study suggests that using as wide and rich a variety of words as possible is actually the more helpful approach, reports Dian Schaffhauser in T.H.E. Journal:


“Exposure to word variation for early readers may boost their abilities, according to a new study by researchers from the University of Iowa to be published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology."

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Parenting: Why Empathy is Not Indulgence

Parenting: Why Empathy is Not Indulgence | Mom Psych | Scoop.it
What is the role of empathy and understanding in good parenting? Have parents become too concerned with children’s feelings and not concerned enough with their behavior?
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I Do It Myself! Attachment, Autonomy and Resilience

I Do It Myself! Attachment, Autonomy and Resilience | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

 "Parents who want to encourage good decision making in their children must also encourage one of the skill's important components: individual autonomy. But how? By pushing them to succeed in the supposed tradition of a "Tiger Mom?  By stepping back as a "Wise French Parent" might do to let their children "live their lives"? By shielding them from every possible hurt as some have characterized current American trends?"


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Aunt Education: A new Aunting blog from Mom Psych

Aunt Education: A new Aunting blog from Mom Psych | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

"There are many benefits to being in your 30s and not having children. For example, when a child is screaming in one room, I can remove myself to another and pour a glass of wine. I can watch things on television besides Thomas the Tank Engine. I can also count the number of diapers I have changed on one hand."

 

Check out our new blog, Aunt Psych. Mom Psych's sister-in-law blogs Aunting insights gained the hard way: from throwing herself heart and soul into the lives of her many nieces and nephews. Jo is not afraid of the most complex parenting issues: she bravely plunges deep down into the nitty-gritty. (She kind of has to. That's where the kids hang out.)

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Motherhood vs. Feminism - What's This, Debate?

Motherhood vs. Feminism - What's This, Debate? | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

Today (presumably in anticipation of Mother's Day) the NYT asks, "Has women's obsession with being the perfect mother destroyed feminism? In particular, has this trend of 'attachment parenting' been bad for working moms?"  Usually you would not find a link to political debate on Mom Psych. First of all--I tend to focus on issues that are backed by research rather than opinion. And debates are opinion on steroids. But this question does open the door to some interesting research that will follow. Research that says attachment parenting is on the right track . . . but also research that emphasizes PARENTING. Not simply mothering. Kids need both parents (says the research, very clearly)--when did we get the idea that dads don't need to take on any responsibility here? I feel a blog post coming on.

My favorite contribution in the NYT debate as they've framed it is from Annie Urban: It’s About Parenting, Not ‘Mothering’

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Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago

Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

"Pre-children: I was going to cloth diaper. Post-children: I did with my daughter, sort of, but not with my twins. Pre-children: No TV until age of 2 and then only 30 minutes a day. Post-children: Ha."

"Because here's another realization I've made as a parent: Everyone's situation is different. There is a story behind every action and inaction. Every parent has his or her own style. Every child has his or her own temperament. What might be a stellar day for my family has been a downright awful day for another -- perhaps the parent's job is in danger, their parent is sick or they just had an argument with their spouse. Perhaps the child is failing math or being bullied at school, or the toddler hasn't slept for two weeks. This can explain the short-temper in the grocery store or the harsher-than-necessary punishment, or the lack of care when it comes to sweets or TV or a late bedtime. We don't know, can't know, someone's entire story."

Read more:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/mom-judgments_b_1319775.html ;


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Helicopter Moms Hover Over Kids' Romances

Helicopter Moms Hover Over Kids' Romances | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

Moms weep over breakups, read texts and even suggest double dates -- with them. "I have seen several families in which the mother is much more upset about the break-up than their son or daughter was," said [Philadelphia psychologist Larina] Kase. 

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The Inappropriate World | Psychology Today

The Inappropriate World | Psychology Today | Mom Psych | Scoop.it

At some point in the last decade or two, “inappropriate” migrated from the realm of manners to the realm of morals. In my youth, inappropriate behavior would mean, say, using the wrong spoon for your soup, or some other etiquette peccadillo. Cheating, lying, or yelling would constitute behaviors that went beyond the realm of inappropriate into some more vivid, ominous, richly-hued ethical domain.

Why are we so drawn to this word with our kids as a tool of moral instruction?

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