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21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever

21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever | marriage | Scoop.it
Discover what scientists know about happy couples, and your relationship will never be the same--guaranteed.

Via billcoffin, Dr. Amy Fuller
Vicki Larson's insight:

Science can't tell us to be kind, appreciative and loving, but that's really what people need and want from each other. Simple!

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Dr. Amy Fuller's curator insight, February 21, 2014 3:37 PM

Great Visuals backed by tons of Research! MUST READ for happy couples or wanna-be happy couples! 

Fuller Life Family Therapy's curator insight, February 26, 2014 4:50 PM

21 facts about what makes a marriage happy! 

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For Happy Marriage, His Personality May Be Key: MedlinePlus

For Happy Marriage, His Personality May Be Key: MedlinePlus | marriage | Scoop.it
For Happy Marriage, His Personality May Be Key

Via Dr. Amy Fuller
Vicki Larson's insight:

Uh, oh guys — don't blame us!

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Most babies born out of marriage by 2016, trend suggests

Most babies born out of marriage by 2016, trend suggests | marriage | Scoop.it

The majority of babies born in three years' time will have parents who are not married, official figures suggest.

The proportion of children born out of wedlock rose in 2012 for the 40th consecutive year to 47.5%. By 2016 it is expected to rise to more than 50%.

Figures from the Office for National Statistics go back to 1938 when just 4% of babies had unmarried parents...


Via @AngloCatalans
Vicki Larson's insight:

Is this something to worry about?

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How Many American Women Are Married Before 30?

How Many American Women Are Married Before 30? | marriage | Scoop.it
Learn how common (or not) your current matrimonial status is.

Via Brenda Elliott
Vicki Larson's insight:

Not sure why this matters -- you'll know when you're ready!

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Rescooped by Vicki Larson from Strong Marriage
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Money Experts Say When it Comes to Marriage, it Pays to Talk - NY1

Money Experts Say When it Comes to Marriage, it Pays to Talk - NY1 | marriage | Scoop.it
NY1 Money Experts Say When it Comes to Marriage, it Pays to Talk NY1 "Even though you want to believe that marriage is all about love and butterflies and all those good things, finances should be one of the first things you should consider before...

Via William Hardesty
Vicki Larson's insight:
Money is a huge part of marriage (and anyone who divorce realizes that quickly!) Talk about it — often!
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William Hardesty's curator insight, May 29, 2014 1:09 PM

Financial Management is key to a happy marriage

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Why Long Marriages End - Divorce, Marriage, Older Couples, Relationships - AARP

Why Long Marriages End - Divorce, Marriage, Older Couples, Relationships - AARP | marriage | Scoop.it
When a long marriage ends, everyone is puzzled. Relationships expert Pepper Schwartz looks at what causes a couple after 25, 35 or even 50 years of marriage to call it quits.

Via Judi Bonilla
Vicki Larson's insight:

Everyone is puzzled? No, I'd d say most people in long-term marriages totally ge why they might end.

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Marriage Seen Through a Contract Lens

Marriage Seen Through a Contract Lens | marriage | Scoop.it
It may be time to acknowledge the harsh truth that nearly half of marriages in the United States end in divorce and many others are miserable, and consider something like a 20-year marriage contract.

Via Anja Merret
Vicki Larson's insight:

Too bad he still romanticizes and talks about the "fantasy" of marriage. Marriage isn't a fantasy, but that doesn't mean you can't be realistic and still be romantic and loving toward your spouse!

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Are Millennials Scared of Commitment?

Cristen responds to a young woman who's engaged and wants to know if the millennial generation is afraid of marriage and romantic commitment. Join Cristen to...

Via Lorena Bellés Escrig
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Why You Shouldn't Facebook Your Breakup

Why You Shouldn't Facebook Your Breakup | marriage | Scoop.it

Divorce used to be a lot easier. Oh, not because of changes in divorce laws or family courts, but because the worst that could happen is that you'd cause a scandal in your neighborhood. (“@OMGchronicles: Do your #kids really want to know everything about your #divorce? about http://t.co/icjuySd via @huffingtonpost”)


Via Ulla M. Saikku
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Life After Divorce: Third-Marriage Success Stories

Life After Divorce: Third-Marriage Success Stories | marriage | Scoop.it
Discover the secrets from these 12 women on how to make the third time a charm (Life After Divorce: Third-Marriage Success Stories http://t.co/PD9hJT0tSK via @WomansDay)...
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Four Negative Patterns That Predict Divorce [Full version]

Dr. John Gottman on Anderson Cooper Show (Full version) Published online on 04.18.2012 Do you fight fair or are your fights going to destroy your relationshi...
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21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever

21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever | marriage | Scoop.it
Discover what scientists know about happy couples, and your relationship will never be the same--guaranteed.

Via billcoffin, Dr. Amy Fuller
Vicki Larson's insight:

Science can't tell us to be kind, appreciative and loving, but that's really what people need and want from each other. Simple!

more...
Dr. Amy Fuller's curator insight, February 21, 2014 3:37 PM

Great Visuals backed by tons of Research! MUST READ for happy couples or wanna-be happy couples! 

Fuller Life Family Therapy's curator insight, February 26, 2014 4:50 PM

21 facts about what makes a marriage happy! 

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Issue 27 - August 24th 2013: Monogamy is outdated, according to controversial BBC investigation

Issue 27 - August 24th 2013: Monogamy is outdated, according to controversial BBC investigation | marriage | Scoop.it
Monogamy is outdated and “polyamorous” relationships, involving multiple partners, could become the new normal, according to a controversial BBC investigation.
Vicki Larson's insight:

“If they persuade people there's a viable model then monogamy becomes a choice rather than the default.” And that's what it's all about!

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Money, sleep and love: What makes a happy parent? - Fox News

Money, sleep and love: What makes a happy parent? - Fox News | marriage | Scoop.it
Money, sleep and love: What makes a happy parent?
Fox News
Who is happier: Parents or non-parents? It's a conundrum that burns hot in the cultural discourse. Are parents made miserable by dirty diapers, long sleepless nights and needy kiddos?

Via William Hardesty
Vicki Larson's insight:
What, no sex life?
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William Hardesty's curator insight, February 20, 2014 7:06 PM

An interesting view on new data. 

Rescooped by Vicki Larson from Healthy Marriage Links and Clips
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Pre-Marital Education

Pre-Marital Education | marriage | Scoop.it
As an independent, career-driven woman, I have never been sure about marriage, both in concept and in practice. My parents are two of the lucky few who seem to be effortlessly still in love with each other after nearly forty-five years of raising children, navigating recessions, and sleeping in the same bed together. Juxtapose that mythology of “everlasting love” against the countless heart-wrenching breakups and hard love lessons being learned by my close friends and me, and I was left still wanting something I was now terrified of. The relationship detritus seemed to be everywhere I turned. My friends and I tried desperately to analyze everything about these relationships to try and parse out the key disabling factors, but none of us could definitively say why or how these things broke down. They just seemed to break. In the midst of my anxiety-driven romantic-existentialism, a family friend casually mentioned to me that she and her then-fiancé had gone to pre-marital counseling. “Isn’t that the thing where the pastor tells you how to make a baby?” I asked. Not quite. I guess times have changed. She calmly explained that though it was originally something like the church telling you “how to make a baby,” most pre-marital education classes are now secular. Just like a standard therapy session, it was basically a safe place for you and your partner to be guided through some of the bigger questions that can derail relationships later on: how do you want to deal with finances, do you want to have kids, what if one of us has an affair, what will you do if one of us falls terminally ill? You know, the fun questions. When I asked her what she thought of the experience, she said, “It’s already, hands down, the best thing I’ve ever done for my relationship.” This stuck with me. Even though, at the time, marriage wasn’t even a blip on my radar, I was drawn to this idea of proactively working through and within a relationship before times got really tough. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t believe this wasn’t a required practice for everyone. How could dedicated time to learn about healthy communication be anything less than great? And, the thought of it lessened the anxiety I felt about my chances at a “lifetime of love.” Fast-forward to today and I can safely reiterate my friend’s thoughts: pre-marital education is already, hands down, the best thing I’ve ever done for my relationship. This year marked my first big sacrifice for love, and instead of being romantic, it was paralyzing. I left the comforts of family, friends, and a wonderful career in the states to begin life again with my partner in Canada. This emotional rawness led to some debilitating fights and days of frigid standoffs—most of them starting with nothing more than an offhand comment. Though the interstitial times were love affirming, I had no confidence that we would get better and not worse. I was signing myself up for lifetime, after all. To placate my growing sense of panic, I repeatedly insisted that we try our hand at pre-marital education. If I was going to make the plunge, I wanted to make sure I was doing everything in my control to make it work. When I arrived in Canada, we made quick work of finding a couple’s therapist. When we settled on a likely candidate and told her what we were looking for, she replied with, “I wish more people did this, it would make my job a lot easier.” In four short sessions, we laid the groundwork for some profound emotional understanding between the two of us: how to keep each other emotionally safe, how to healthily disagree, how to recover from fights, how to talk about emotions, and how to maintain connectivity. She enlightened our narrow understanding of “fight” by clarifying that healthy and unhealthy couples didn’t agree any more or less than the other, but they fought differently. Most importantly, we were able guide the focus of our work, bringing up instances we knew were already tough spots and demanding more help in specific areas. Five months later, though we’re still not above getting into fights about the dishes and the snooze button, we’re also in much less danger of letting our smaller spats grow into bigger ones or stay unresolved. And, we’re getting better and better at it every day. My fear is no longer subsuming my confidence in our ability to continue learning or make this last. For those of you also in pursuit of a “lifetime of love,” I highly recommend pre-marital therapy or education. It’s probably the best money you’ll ever spend on yourselves.

Via billcoffin
Vicki Larson's insight:

Did you have premarital counseling? Help or no?

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How do you know you want to get married? - Jezebel

How do you know you want to get married? - Jezebel | marriage | Scoop.it
How do you know you want to get married?
Jezebel
I had a really negative view of relationships and marriage in general for years.
Vicki Larson's insight:

Well, how do you know?

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What if We Treated Marriage More Like The Contract It Is?

What if We Treated Marriage More Like The Contract It Is? | marriage | Scoop.it
Marriage is a contract - much like one with your cell phone company. But what if we treated it more like the contract that it is?

Via Randal Buckley
Vicki Larson's insight:

Marriage is a contract, but it needs to be a goal-oriented, renewable  contract. Are you in? http://thenewidobook.com

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Rescooped by Vicki Larson from YouthWorkerCircuit
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For Millennials, Parenthood Trumps Marriage | Pew Social & Demographic Trends

For Millennials, Parenthood Trumps Marriage | Pew Social & Demographic Trends | marriage | Scoop.it
Today’s 18 to 29 year olds – members of the so-called Millennial Generation – see parenthood and marriage differently than today’s thirty-somethings (members of Generation X) did back when they were in their late teens and twenties, according to a...

Via gavin richardson
Vicki Larson's insight:

But yet still so many want to tie the knot; why?

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A Pornography Habit Destroys Relationships - NYTimes.com

A Pornography Habit Destroys Relationships - NYTimes.com | marriage | Scoop.it
Anyone who considers pornography a harmless diversion should talk to marriage therapists and divorce lawyers. By Gail Dines and Robert Jensen.
Vicki Larson's insight:

Is it porn or the addiction?

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6 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble - Huffington Post

6 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble - Huffington Post | marriage | Scoop.it
6 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble
Huffington Post
That explains why empty nesters are still divorcing in droves. Once the children leave home, the relationship void feels overwhelming.
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Can this Marriage be Saved? - PsychCentral.com (blog)

Can this Marriage be Saved? - PsychCentral.com (blog) | marriage | Scoop.it
Can this Marriage be Saved?
PsychCentral.com (blog)
And yet to deny that every marriage is vulnerable to the many possible pitfalls that can threaten relationships is naive and potentially dangerous.
Vicki Larson's insight:

Maybe the question to ask is,  "Why should this marriage be saved?"

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