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Seeking: How the brain hard-wires us to love Google, Twitter, and texting and why that's dangerous.

Seeking: How the brain hard-wires us to love Google, Twitter, and texting and why that's dangerous. | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Seeking. You can't stop doing it. Sometimes it feels as if the basic drives for food, sex, and sleep have been overridden by a new need for endless nuggets of electronic information.
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Lived Time
Exploring the limitations and alternatives to a pervasive world view that sees ‘time as money’.
Curated by Mariana Funes
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A summary of the book

Summary slides of the ideas in the book, it may give you a sense of what to follow up either on this page or in the book.

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How the internet is making it harder to read books

How the internet is making it harder to read books | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Online scanning is changing our brain's circuitry to make serious reading more difficult.
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Google's head of mindfulness: 'goodness is good for business'

Google's head of mindfulness: 'goodness is good for business' | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Chade-Meng Tan, the search engine giant's Jolly Good Fellow, on meditation, acceptance and the power of positive businessChade-Meng Tan's job description would never get past most companies' human resources departments.
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Derailed

Derailed | Lived Time | Scoop.it

Followers, Likes, Retweets, Comments, Visits: Social currency. Can social
popularity take us off the course of growth and where we were intended to
go?

It was the dawning of social media as we now know it. Blogging had
established its right as a citizen of the web and websites like Twitter and
Dribbble were just coming out of the woodwork. The excitement and the
thrill of seeing all of your friends using them was overwhelming. Getting
followers, retweeting, having your shots liked and the like was addictive
and fun. I was blogging regularly, but something about microblogging felt
more like me. Heck, with my ADOS...err...ADD, it was a natural fit. 

When I entered the web scene, I was green. I knew nothing of social
currency like followers, likes, retweets, comments and visits. I viewed the
web for what it was. What I loved about the social web when I first
encountered it was something pure and something really great. A platform to
have a voice and to share — to share what I'd learned. After all, I had
learned much of my skill-set in all things web due to the kindness of
people teaching on the web. My first love for the social web was pure and
filled with good intent. 

The First Things

I've been thinking a lot lately about the first things. Like when you first
fall in love with someone or something and innocence and the purity wrapped
up into those things. For me, it's like a good beer. If you love good beer,
you'll know what I'm talking about. It's amazing savoring those delicious
sips. The mellow buzz and subtle euphoria associated with its flavor and
substance. For those that might have struggled with taking it too far,
there's a huge difference between the first beer and the eighth. By the
eighth, that substance has been stripped of its redeeming qualities and
reduced to an addictive tool. 

This isn't a rant against alcohol. Alcohol represents a metaphor for how we
can take something innocent and pure; be it a romantic relationship,
appreciation of a great beer, a delicious meal, a word of encouragement
from an admirer of your work and twist it into something addictive and
ugly.

With alcohol, it's easier for some to understand when your tendency has
changed to an addictive one. With other addictive things in life, however,
it can take some serious heart surgery to unveil the source of the poison.
   

Social Poison

Words of affirmation can make your heart soar. They can encourage you to
reach deeper and do more — to do better on that next project. Especially
for creatives that can be overly self-critical, affirmation for a job well
done can be the catalyst for calling out greatness from within them. 

For me, receiving praise for my work was just that: a catalyst for pushing
me further. At first. For those that were kind, that uplifted me, that gave
me a thumbs up, I thank you.

I remember a question that a close friend of mine, Jesse Gardner once
asked:

Do you feel like your social popularity has hurt your growth as a
person and designer?

That was a fantastic question that I gave serious thought to. Had I
achieved no "status" at all, would I be better off today? The answer, I
believe, for me, was yes. It was that question among many like it I had
asked myself earlier that led me down a road of self-discovery and freedom.

Social Addiction

I hope that you, the reader, can see me with a bit of grace and see
yourself in my failures. The reason I chose to be vulnerable about my own
failures is because I view social addiction as such a large issue facing
us, that it needs to be brought to light. For many of us, it's hard to
understand that we are addicted until its run its destructive path. 

To be honest, I realized my issues with social addiction over two years
ago, but I didn't experience it's destructive nature until nearly a year
ago. I noticed a correlation between my perceived happiness and online
social interactions. When I'd tweet and get a large response or post a shot
to Dribbble and get "like" fame — I couldn't help but feel euphoric from
that perception of "fame." A childish, puny version of fame, but it still
deceived me. I found I always wanted more.  More fame, more likes — more of
the limelight. And you over there wagging your head at what was my
addiction, yeah, you — close your live stats view or stop manically
refreshing that post you're looking for the next comment on. It's all
addictive.

The more you layer on the compliments, it feels fantastic, but what you
don't realize, well, at least I didn't realize was what it is preparing
your heart for — what your mind and heart believe is normal. It's a lot
like running. Remember that first run? That first day is rough, but each
time you train, your body adapts. It begins to welcome this new routine as
"normal".  Before you know it, you're running 5 miles a day and your body
has adapted. It's become a part of you.

It's like that with the social web. You eat the "like" drug and boy does it
taste good. You keep consuming it, but you want more. You don't realize
that your mind and heart are now accustomed to this new "drug". Worse, what
will happen when you take the "drug" away? Sadly, I'm not sure all of us
will find that out.

Social Withdrawals

When I discovered my addiction, it seemed mild. What I didn't know was what
I would find out later — my true condition. When I realized that I kept
returning, kept yearning for more of the "like" drug, I knew it was
unhealthy, and so I began to pull back. To withhold posting tweets, shots,
posts — I'd turn down speaking opportunities because I knew that if
successful, they could enable the addiction within me. I'd play this little
game every time I felt the urge to post anything. I'd ask myself "Rogie,
what's your intent with this?" Most often that would result in not posting
anything because I knew my heart's intent was wrong. What I learned later
was a surprise.

I began to work on projects that I didn't think I would get a lot of praise
for — sharing things that I felt to be truly altruistic, like guides or
sharing my process in work. Things that would help others, not myself. This
was a great move for me. When we are faced with issues of pride or
self-centered behavior, often, the best thing is to do the opposite. To
intentionally seek out things focused on selflessness and uplifting of
others. Sharing, charity work, giving, a kind thoughtful word or focusing
on others pain or needs.

The "drug"  was removed from my system, and with most addictions,
withdrawals happened. I'd fiend for attention. I'd be jealous of others for
it. I'd notice others receiving the praise that I lusted for and I'd crave
it too. But, this newfound knowledge was my ally. I knew that this "drug"
was destructive, so I didn't return to it.

But what followed was an emptiness that taught me a very valuable lesson in
life. You see, after removing the drug, it unveiled my true nature. My true
nature was very human indeed — the need for affection, to be of worth and
valuable to people's lives. To make a difference with my puny existence. To
have "friends", but, I was doing it all wrong. 

After removing the like "drug", I realized I hadn't truly invested myself
in real, valuable, balanced relationships. Not these fake, smiling shiny
faces, masked by a 50 pixel rounded rectangle talking about their next big
achievement while privately hurting and dying inside. Online interactions
are great, but they're no substitute for the raw, honest grit that you'll
get with a real friend. A real friend will call you on your shit and tell
you if you're slipping up. An online friend will publicly declare your
"awesomeness" to the world trying to scream above the noise to be heard. I
learned that my addiction had pulled a switcheroo. I traded deep, real,
personal relationships for shallow likes, tweets and visits. No wonder my
heart was broken. I'd been feeding it a substitute and an unbalanced one at
that. 

Unbalanced

All these years, I'd been working so hard, to earn money for my family. I'd
made the internet my throne — I'd wake up to this little glowing black box
and hook up the feeding tubes again, never realizing that what I needed was
a balanced meal, a balanced life.  My "friendships" weren't balanced. They
were one-sided 140 character statements on a screen, declaring how awesome
I was. I didn't need to hear that. Nobody needs to hear how great they are
all the time, because, the truth is...we're not "great". But, our
connection to others and the beauty of a real friend challenging you in
truth and love is.

What I needed to hear was how shitty I was doing, but nobody shares their
emptiness online — it's too ugly. I needed to have a friend say, Rogie,
you're screwing up in your life. Here, take my hand and let me help you fix
it. If you only have shallow, positive relationships online, there's no-one
to catch you when you fall.

This newfound realization was everything to me. I began seeing a counselor
and finding how having false relationships through a glowing screen had
hurt me. I began to return to real relationships, local relationships where
you can look a dude in the eyes and laugh over a movie or a beer. I began
to intentionally think about my friends and what they were going through.
To put myself on the pro-active giving end of kind and thoughtful words,
not just the receiving end. 

And this return was hard. I found myself going back to the old ways, trying
to milk a relationship of what it could return for my praise, for my
benefit.  But this real, beautiful return to balanced relationships was
key.

Derailed

Social addictions can be some of the most deceptive hurdles to overcome in
our lives. When are we feeding our egos with false, shallow compliments
from near-strangers? Are we basing our concept of our own success off of
the compliments of well-intentioned, yet false online personas? Had I
continued to believe the deception of social addiction, I wonder what
growth I would have missed out on? Would my course be derailed? Has it
already? Had I caught on earlier, I guarantee I'd be twice the designer I
am today. 

A passage in Proverbs sticks with me:

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in
trouble.

In my experience, "associating with fools" in this narrative, represents an
addiction to comments, likes and feedback that only builds and inflates our
view of ourselves. Walking with the wise is to associate with those people
that know when you need building up and when you need a swift punt of
critique of your work or character. In other words, if faced with an
endless sea of compliments or a road of critiques, I'll take the critical
path — the path to growth.

 

Mariana Funes's insight:

 A thoughtful post that asks: Can social popularity take us off the course of growth and where we were intended to  go? Answers yes and offers ways to disconnect to connect.


"I began to pull back. To withhold posting tweets, shots, 

posts — I'd turn down speaking opportunities because I knew that if 
successful, they could enable the addiction within me. I'd play this little  game every time I felt the urge to post anything. I'd ask myself "Rogie, what's your intent with this?" Most often that would result in not posting anything because I knew my heart's intent was wrong."

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The Time You Have (In JellyBeans)

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Mindhacking: Finding Serenity in a Tech-Obsessed World

Mindhacking: Finding Serenity in a Tech-Obsessed World | Lived Time | Scoop.it
This week New Tech City helps you learn how to unplug and regain your piece of mind in a world filled with texts, pings, meeting reminders and social media notifications. Take a deep breath, turn off your smartphone and tune in for a "digital detox" chock full of tips on how to identify your core goals and stick to them in the digital age.
Mariana Funes's insight:

Sound advise to regain control of your digital life. Podcast is 20 minutes long, an upbeat summary of ancient idea. We need to work against habit to be on lived time

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We need to talk about ted...

We need to talk about ted... | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Mariana Funes's insight:

Solutionism and how our addiction to it stops us from seeing that life is more than an infomercial.Easy solutions look good on a TED stage but can rarely be implemented in lived time.

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Technology and the Innovation of Loneliness

Technology and the Innovation of Loneliness | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Shimi Cohen's video explores scientifically based reasons behind why we feel lonely in the digital age. A video about technology and the increase in loneliness.
Mariana Funes's insight:

We redefine mere connection as conversation and wonder why we feel lonely. We do this because technology allows us to interact whilst offering ourselves to others in constant edit where actual conversation is unpredictable and cannot be controlled. We have solved the problem of difficult people through our use of online tools for network building. Can technology support lived time instead? Is the success of video chatting a glimmer of hope that we are starting to see the downwsides of over-reliance on virtual networks for building intimate relationships? The video is under 5 minutes long and tackles these issues head on: our tools are defining our sense of self. We share therefore we are -  and if we do not share then what?

 

 

We have forgotten to how to turn by ourselves to ourselves, as Sherry Turkle warns, loneliness is nothing more than failed aloness. She says: "And it has left me thinking about solitude—the kind that refreshes and restores. Loneliness is failed solitude.To experience solitude you must be able to summon yourself by yourself; otherwise, you will only know how to be lonely"

 

 

Well worth the time to watch several times and let it sink in past the rationalisations of why the ideas do not really (really really) apply to you...

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How To Be Alone

A music video for the poem HOW TO BE ALONE by the wonderful and talented Tanya Davis.

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Better Engineering through Meditation, Mindfulness?

Better Engineering through Meditation, Mindfulness? | Lived Time | Scoop.it

At Intel, more than 1,500 employees have participated in the year-old Awake@Intel program. The mindfulness-based realization classes use psychological techniques to heighten attention and awareness non-judgmentally.


Via Brenda Bentley
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Clare Myatt's curator insight, October 8, 2013 1:20 PM

I hope more in the corporate world will follow this great example.

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How Changing Your Breathing Can Change Your

How Changing Your Breathing Can Change Your | Lived Time | Scoop.it

The best way to calm down is so innate to our lives, we often take it for granted: Taking a breath.


Via Brenda Bentley
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Susan Taylor's curator insight, October 5, 2013 12:52 PM

When it comes to enhancing our well-being and decreasing stress levels, changing our diet and exercise habits tend to dominate one very simple thing we can do to improve our health. 

 

In this article, Carolyn Gregorie shares with us an INFOGRAPHIC on this thing we take for granted:  BREATHING.  She shares with us 7 key reasons why it's important to stop and exhale.

Clare Myatt's curator insight, October 8, 2013 1:19 PM

We all breathe, every day, and yet there's so much most of us don't know about breathing.

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Christian Marclay The Clock

BBC News at ten article on Christian Marclay's The Clock - a 24 hour film, featuring in the British Art Show at New Exchange, Nottingham and The White Cube i...
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Seeking: How the brain hard-wires us to love Google, Twitter, and texting and why that's dangerous.

Seeking: How the brain hard-wires us to love Google, Twitter, and texting and why that's dangerous. | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Seeking. You can't stop doing it. Sometimes it feels as if the basic drives for food, sex, and sleep have been overridden by a new need for endless nuggets of electronic information.
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Clock time or Lived time?

Clock time or Lived time? | Lived Time | Scoop.it
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The Paradox of Wu-Wei or effortless action

The Paradox of Wu-Wei or effortless action | Lived Time | Scoop.it

I had this problem where I was arguing with all these different stories and different texts and saying they're all about wu-wei, they're all about effortless action, but many of the stories don't use the term wu-wei. So how can I say they're really talking about the same concept if they're not using the word? My only solution at that point was just to put the stories side by side and go, "Eh?" Reading about metaphor theory changed everything. The basic argument that Lakoff and Johnson lay out is that we're not disembodied minds floating around somewhere. We are embodied creatures.

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Reading Brigid Schulte’s Overwhelmed

Reading Brigid Schulte’s Overwhelmed | Lived Time | Scoop.it

Brigid Schulte has several answers to why, but the claim I found most compelling was her analysis that “somewhere around the end of the 20th century, busyness became not just a way of life but a badge of honor.”

Mariana Funes's insight:

Some thoughts on Overwhelmed that are very aligned with the ideas on my Lived Time book -  the obstacles to having all the time in the world are not 'out there' but very much 'in here'. When our identity is tied up with being busier that the rest of them - no technique will help us change our lifestyle. 

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Counting minutes with the watch without a face

Counting minutes with the watch without a face | Lived Time | Scoop.it

Just two sentences in, I felt my watch vibrate and instinctively looked down to my wrist, expecting to see a pixelated notification on a monochrome Pebble display. Then I remembered Durr isn't like other watches. It doesn't tell the time, it doesn't give me notifications, it just vibrates every five minutes. As I put the finishing touches on the article and prepared to post it to the site, Durr vibrated again, reminding me just how long this was taking.  I’ve since found it makes me more productive than any smartwatch ever has. While Pebble distracts me with its incessant buzzing, Durr calls me out when I'm taking too long making a GIF, it lets me know when that article probably should've been up two minutes ago, and, as I write this review, it's telling me that browsing lists on BuzzFeed is definitely not going to help me finish this paragraph.

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Why Giving Up My Cell Phone For 44 Days Changed My Life

Why Giving Up My Cell Phone For 44 Days Changed My Life | Lived Time | Scoop.it
After a particularly difficult year, where several things I was very invested in came to an untimely end, I decided to take a break and leave home for a six week trip to write, reflect, meditate and
Mariana Funes's insight:

Another example of developing a practice of lived time. Moving against that which feels natural and setting up rules - like phone now charges in the bathroon not in the bedroom - to stop clock time taking over

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Adam Magyar slow motion video

The results are fantastic, turning everyday commuters into living sculptures. In Magyar’s sloth-paced world, the slightest movement seems to take on massive significance.

Mariana Funes's insight:

Watch this and notice all that you miss as you rush into that commuter train each morning

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Delicious Pie And The Value Of Patience

Presenting Onion Talks: the most important ideas from greatest thinkers on the planet. No mind will be left unchanged.

Mariana Funes's insight:

A light hearted look at taking time for life....and at the trend to simplify the world through the TED talk format. 

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Meditate for More Profitable Decisions

Meditate for More Profitable Decisions | Lived Time | Scoop.it

All volunteers were then given a sunk-cost dilemma and asked to make a decision. In each study – whether it was online or in the laboratory - volunteers who had undergone mindfulness practice were significantly more likely to resist the sunk cost bias. What was surprising, says Kinias, was the magnitude of the affect that came after such a short period of meditation. “In one of our experiments more than half the participants in the control condition committed the sunk cost bias whereas only 22 percent committed it following the 15 minute mindfulness meditation - that’s a pretty dramatic effect.”

 

“There may be cases when processing of the past can be useful for making decisions,” she concedes, “but what our research suggests is that people make better choices in the present moment when letting go of sunk costs is required to make the best decision.”

Mariana Funes's insight:

Our self narrative continues to need evidence that the busy mind is barren, as Socrates apparently warned many moons ago. This study offers just that evidence. We make better decisions when mindful and when taught how to be in lived time rather than clock time. This comes from a relieble source. Full article will cost $35 as it is not open access.

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The American Scholar: Reading Fast and Slow

The American Scholar: Reading Fast and Slow | Lived Time | Scoop.it
The speed at which our eyes travel across the printed page has serious (and surprising) implications for the way we make sense of words
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» Walking Meditation: Mindfulness On the Move - Your Body, Your Mind

» Walking Meditation: Mindfulness On the Move - Your Body, Your Mind | Lived Time | Scoop.it

Get tips for walking meditation. Learn how to combine mindfulness, meditation, and walking.


Via Brenda Bentley
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Can you train your brain to make better decisions?

Can you train your brain to make better decisions? | Lived Time | Scoop.it

Mindfulness training is helping business leaders rethink the way they make big decisions, stay sane and get ahead at work, says neurologist Dr Tamara Russell. (Can you train your brain to make better decisions?


Via Brenda Bentley
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World's slowest-moving drop caught on camera at last

World's slowest-moving drop caught on camera at last | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Once-forgotten 'tar pitch' experiment yields results after seven decades.
Mariana Funes's insight:

Listen to RadioLab programe http://www.radiolab.org/story/267124-speed/  that explores time perception and our relationship to speed. It kicks off talking about the pictch experiment. Watch the pitch drop drop by visiting the website. What does it do to your sense of time? Were you patient enough to listen to the programme or wait for the drop to drop on the video?

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BBC Radio 4 - Digital Human, Series 3, Detox

BBC Radio 4 - Digital Human, Series 3, Detox | Lived Time | Scoop.it
Aleks Krotoski asks if we could all do with a detox from our digital devices.
Mariana Funes's insight:

yes!

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