Another thing that parents usually don't think about is teaching the child to understand the motions. The skill nobody teaches in school, nobody teaches anywhere is called Introspection which is the opposite of Extraspection. Extraspection is looking outwards, everyone does that, they see the world. Introspection is looking inwards, at your own thoughts and feelings. It's invaluable for a child to learn to Introspect. In the case of emotions, which is one of the most difficult things; children can be taught that emotions are not undecipherable, mysterious primaries that can't be grasped. All emotions, other than ones caused by brain disorders or hormonal disorders, are caused by subconscious ideas; ideas not in awareness now but ideas which you hold. For example, let's say you're child is very angry because you gave them a consequence they didn't like for not doing something they're supposed to do. For example they tried to watch TV and they didn't do their homework, so you take away TV for the week or something like that; now the child will experience the emotion anger so what can you do to help? You say, "Okay, I know what you're feeling, you're feeling angry, right?" The child says, "Yes, that was so unfair." You say, "The reason you're feeling angry is because you thought I was treating you unjustly, right?" "Yes!" So I'd say, "So your emotion of anger was caused by an idea which was injustice. So do you understand what I'm saying to you that your emotions are caused by an idea? They're not mysterious?" A child learning that emotions have causes that can be identified consciously and are not mysterious or ineffable or ungraspable is a very variable thing for a child to learn, and by the way, for an adult because most adults can't do it either.
ALL PARENTS, Parenting, Resilience and Problem Solving
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