Le Bonheur, ça se...
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Le Bonheur, ça se travaille
Ce n’est pas à la possession des biens qu’est attaché le bonheur, mais à la faculté d’en jouir. Le bonheur n’est qu’une aptitude.
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Comment faire bonne impression en réseau ?

Comment faire bonne impression en réseau ? | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Conseil #1
Dépêchez-vous de faire bonne impression.

60% des personnes que vous rencontrez pour la 1ère fois se font une idée sur vous en moins de 2 minutes ! Et 1 contact sur 4 en moins d’une minute. Prêtez un soin particulier à ce qui saute aux yeux : votre tenue vestimentaire. Choisissez bien vos premiers mots et soignez la qualité de votre expression. En principe vous avez déjà rôdé votre bande-annonce, donc tout devrait bien se passer.

Conseil #2
Méfiez-vous des signes non-verbaux que vous émettez souvent à votre insu.

Ils peuvent provoquer une certaine gêne chez votre interlocuteur, même si lui-même ne sait pas à quoi l’attribuer. Refréner votre bougeotte, décroiser les bras. Sachez vous asseoir confortablement, mais sans vous avachir. Évitez de vous gratter le nez, de vous frotter la joue ou le menton ou encore de vous tortiller les cheveux en discutant. Une solide poignée de main, un regard franc et votre beau sourire feront le reste.

Conseil #3
Laissez les clés de la convivialité vous ouvrir toutes les portes.

Faite preuve d’enthousiasme. On ne prend pas du temps sur ses soirées pour rencontrer des sinistres ou déprimer à plusieurs sur tout ce qui va mal dans le monde, dans les affaires, dans nos vies... Pour autant, allez au fond des choses. Les « small talks » sont une perte de temps : abordez les vrais sujets, même les difficiles mais en restant positif et dans la recherche de solutions. Ne ramenez pas les projecteurs sur vous sans arrêt. Soyez d’abord à l’écoute de vos interlocuteurs : posez-leur des questions, demandez-leur leur avis. Et quand vous ne savez pas quelque chose, ne faites pas semblant. Au contraire, voilà une bonne occasion de laisser votre interlocuteur briller par ses explications.

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5 Things You're Doing That Seem Productive, But Aren't

5 Things You're Doing That Seem Productive, But Aren't | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

These habits are good intentioned, but could be sabotaging your productivity.

1. Memorizing Your To-Do list.

If you’re the kind of person who thinks making a to-do list is a waste of time, your strategy might be what’s wasting your time. According to David Allen, renowned author of Getting Things Done you need to write things down or, more importantly, you just need to keep tasks out of your head.

2. Putting the most important task at the top of your to-do list.

Most people will put the most important thing at the top of their list, but this will actually make you not want to do it, especially if you’re a procrastinator.

John Perry says you need to move the very important task further down on your list to mentally trick yourself to not dread the specific task so deeply. You’re basically warming yourself up with other less important tasks before tackling your very important task.

3. Relying on a task-management software.

It might actually be OK for you to use a task-management software if you’re not someone who has major issues with productivity outputs. But if you are a bona-fide procrastinator, “collecting” softwares can end up hurting your output levels, says Allen.

The reasoning is simple: Note-taking and archiving softwares allow you to collect notes that can either be from formatted text, a handwritten note, a voice memo, or even a photo you took. ... Merely collecting information means all that stuff will go back into your head because you won’t know what to do with the information after you collect it.

If you use a task-management program, Allen advises to clear everything collected every 24 to 48 hours.

4. Delaying making decisions.

In his book Getting Things Done, Allen says that “if it takes less than two minutes to do it, do it now.” Delaying decisions might make it easier on you at the moment, but it’ll also have a chance of blowing up later on down the road.

When you put off a task, it loses its meaning and you end up spending more energy revisiting that task and figuring out the meaning, or priority, attached to it.

4. Saying “yes” to everything.

You might think that saying “yes” to everything makes you an easier person to work with, but doing so also makes you an unproductive person to work with. The truth is, we’re all busy people with too much on our plate.

Those who are focused and keep their eyes on the bottom-line will become the most successful. If you commit yourself to every little thing that comes your way, your path will be scrambled and you won’t get anywhere on time.

5. Thinking you’re capable of multitasking.

It doesn’t matter how many studies have been published telling us that our brains can’t do multiple things at the same time, we still multitask because it gives us a false sense of accomplishment.

But the truth is, human brains weren’t built to multitask. UCLA researchers found in a study that your brain is "dumbed down" when you multitask because you’re using a different part of it that “adversely affects how you learn.”Instead, a good strategy to adopt is to perform tasks in sequences, called “set shifting,” which is the practice of switching consciously and completely from one task to the next instead of doing everything at once.

Read the article on Fast Company

173 Sud's insight:

These habits are good intentioned, but could be sabotaging your productivity.

C-Marketing's curator insight, August 14, 2014 5:02 AM

Even though they are good intentioned,  some habits are just sabotaging your productivity.

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10 Ways to Lose Friends and Irritate People

10 Ways to Lose Friends and Irritate People | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

1. You thoughtlessly waste other peoples' time.

People who don't notice the small ways they inconvenience others tend to be oblivious when they do it in a major way.

How you treat people when it doesn't really matter--especially when you're a leader--says everything about you. Act like the people around you have more urgent needs than yours and you will never go wrong--and you will definitely be liked.

2. You ignore people outside your "level."

We all do it. When we visit a company, we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. When we attend a civic event, we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. We breeze right by the technicians and talk to the guy who booked us to speak, even though the techs are the ones who make us look and sound good onstage.

Here's an easy rule of thumb: Nod whenever you make eye contact. Or smile. Or (gasp!) even say hi. Just act like people exist. We'll automatically like you for it--and remember you as someone who engages even when there's nothing in it for you.

3. You ask for too much. 

A guy you don't know asks you for a favor; a big, time-consuming favor. You politely decline. He asks again. You decline again. Then he whips out the Need Card. "But it's really important to me. You have to. I really need [it]."

Maybe you do, in fact, really need [it]. But your needs are your problem. The world doesn't owe you anything. You aren't entitled to advice or mentoring or success. The only thing you're entitled to is what you earn.

People tend to help people who first help themselves. People tend to help people who first help them. And people definitely befriend people who look out for other people first, because we all want more of those people in our lives.

4. You ignore people in genuine need.

 At the same time, some people aren't in a position to help themselves. They need a hand: a few dollars, some decent food, a warm coat.

Though I don't necessarily believe in karma, I do believe good things always come back to you, in the form of feeling good about yourself.

And that's reason enough to help people who find themselves on the downside of advantage.

5. You ask a question so you can talk.

Don't shoehorn in your opinions under false pretenses. Only ask a question if you genuinely want to know the answer. And when you do speak again, ask a follow-up question that helps you better understand the other person's point of view.

People like people who are genuinely interested in them--not in themselves.

6. You pull a "Do you know who I am?"

OK, so maybe they don't take it to the Reese Witherspoon level, but many people whip out some form of the "I'm Too Important for This" card.

Say you really are somebody. People always like you better when you don't act like you know you're somebody--or that you think it entitles you to different treatment.

7. You don't dial it back.

An unusual personality is a lot of fun--until it isn't. Yet when the going gets tough or a situation gets stressful, some people just can't stop "expressing their individuality."

Knowing when the situation requires you to stop justifying your words or actions with an unspoken "Hey, that's just me being me" can often be the difference between being likeable and being an ass.

8. You mistake self-deprecation for permission. 

You know how it's OK when you make fun of certain things about yourself, but not for other people to make fun of you for those same things? Like receding hairlines. Weight. A struggling business or career. Your spouse and kids.

Sometimes self-deprecation is genuine, but it's often a mask for insecurity. Never assume people who make fun of themselves give you permission to poke the same fun at them.

9. You humblebrag.

Humblebragging is a form of bragging that tries to cover the brag with a veneer of humility so you can brag without appearing to brag. (Key word is "appearing," because it's still easy to tell humblebraggers are quite tickled with themselves.)

Before you brag--humbly or not, business or personal--think about your audience. Or better yet, don't brag. Just be proud of what you've accomplished. Let others brag for you. If you've done cool things, don't worry--they will.

10. You push your opinions. 

You know things. Cool things. Great things. Awesome. But only share them in the right settings. If you're a mentor, share away. If you're a coach or a leader, share away. If you're the guy who just started a paleo diet, don't tell us all what to order.

Unless we ask. What's right for you may not be right for others; shoot, it might not even turn out to be right for you. Like most things in life, offering helpful advice is all about picking your spots--just like winning friends and influencing people.

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Le bonheur c'est finalement assez simple à trouver

Le bonheur c'est finalement assez simple à trouver. Voici comment être vraiment heureux. Vous allez nous dire merci.

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C'est prouvé, être heureux au travail améliore la productivité

C'est prouvé, être heureux au travail améliore la productivité | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Plus un employé est heureux, plus il est efficace dans son travail. Ce n'est pas une surprise, mais c'est ce que démontre une nouvelle étude menée par le département d’économie de l'Université de Warwick, au Royaume-Uni. En réalisant un certain nombre d'expériences, dont les résultats vont être publiés dans le Journal of Labor Economics, l'équipe de chercheur a déterminé que le fait d'être heureux augmentait la productivité de près de 12%.

Dans des conditions contrôlées scientifiquement, rendre les salariés plus heureux est vraiment rentable. La dynamique semble être la suivante : les employés font un meilleur usage du temps dont ils disposent, c'est-à-dire en augmentant la vitesse à laquelle ils peuvent travailler sans sacrifier la qualité.

Quel impact concret de ces conclusions en entreprise? Selon les auteurs de l'étude, la question avait été anticipée. Ils expliquent ainsi que l'expérience du chocolat et des fruits a été réalisée car ce sont des petites récompenses qui sont faciles à reproduire dans le monde réel.

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10 Simple Habits Proven to Make You Happier

10 Simple Habits Proven to Make You Happier | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

You are good enough!” Self-acceptance is a key happy habit, yet it’s one people practise the least.

A new survey of 5,000 people has found a strong link between self-acceptance and happiness, despite the fact that it’s a habit not frequently practised.

The finding comes from a survey carried out by the charity Action for Happiness, in collaboration with Do Something Different.

For their survey, they identified ten everyday habits which science has shown can make people happier.

Here are the 10 habits, with the average ratings of survey participants on a scale of 1-10, as to how often they performed each habit :

  1. Giving: do things for others — 7.41
  2. Relating: connect with people — 7.36
  3. Exercising: take care of your body — 5.88
  4. Appreciating: notice the world around — 6.57
  5. Trying out: keep learning new things — 6.26
  6. Direction: have goals to look forward to — 6.08
  7. Resilience: find ways to bounce back — 6.33
  8. Emotion: take a positive approach — 6.74
  9. Acceptance: be comfortable with who you are — 5.56
  10. Meaning: be part of something bigger — 6.38

The survey showed that one of the largest associations between these happy habits and reported happiness was for self-acceptance.

Here are three ways to boost your self-acceptance, as suggested by the researchers:

  1. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. See your mistakes as opportunities to learn. Notice things you do well, however small.
  2. Ask a trusted friend or colleague to tell you what your strengths are or what they value about you.
  3. Spend some quiet time by yourself. Tune in to how you’re feeling inside and try to be at peace with who you are.

Read all on PSYBLOG

173 Sud's insight:
10 habitudes qui rendent plus heureux
  • Donner: faire des choses pour les autres

  • Être en relation: connecter avec des gens

  • Faire de l'exercice: et plus généralement prendre soin de son corps

  • Apprécier: remarquer le monde autour de soi et les bonnes choses qui se produisent dans sa vie

  • Expérimenter: continuer à apprendre de nouvelles choses

  • Direction: avoir des objectifs encourageants et travailler à leur réalisation

  • Résilience: trouver des façons de rebondir après les difficultés

  • Émotion: prendre une approche positive et faire des choses que l'on aime

  • Acceptation: être confortable avec qui l'on est

  • Signification: faire des choses qui donnent le sentiment que sa vie a un sens ou de faire partie de (contribuer à) quelque chose de plus grand que soi

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12 Ways To Beat The Monday Blues

12 Ways To Beat The Monday Blues | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Does the start of your workweek trigger overwhelming feelings of anxiety, sadness, or stress? Do you lack passion and motivation on Monday morning? Are you sluggish or tense? If you’re nodding affirmatively, you might have a case of the Monday Blues.

“The ‘Monday Blues’ describe a set of negative emotions that many people get at the beginning of the workweek if they’re not happy at work,” says Alexander Kjerulf, an international author and speaker on happiness at work. “It contains elements of depression, tiredness, hopelessness and a sense that work is unpleasant but unavoidable.”

As it turns out, your case of the Mondays can have a negative impact on your performance and productivity—as well as the people around you.

Here are 12 ways to beat (or avoid) the dreaded Monday Blues:

Identify the problem.

If you have the Monday Blues most weeks, then this is not something you should laugh off or just live with. It’s a significant sign that you are unhappy at work and you need to fix it or move on and find another job. Clarifying what is bothering you can help you try to be active in finding solutions. It’s a way of empowering you to take charge and try to improve the situation

Prepare for Monday on Friday.

To help combat that Monday morning anxiety, be sure to leave yourself as few dreadful tasks as possible on Friday afternoon

Make a list of the things you’re excited about.

Sunday evening, make a list of three things you look forward to at work that week. This might put you in a more positive mood.

Unplug for the weekend.

When you leave the office on Friday, leave your office problems there and focus on enjoying your time off. Sometimes going back to work on Monday feels especially frustrating because you let it creep into your off-time, and so it never even feels like you had a weekend at all.

Get enough sleep and wake up early.

If you’re only running on a couple of hours of sleep, it’s unlikely that you’re going to feel good about going anywhere when the alarm goes off Monday morning.

Dress for success.

Be the light and energy that makes others have a better day. Show and share your spirit, charisma and vibe and make yourself magnetic.

Be positive.

Take time to recognize and appreciate the things that you enjoy about work.

Make someone else happy.

Make a vow to do something nice for someone else as soon as you get to work on Monday

Keep your Monday schedule light.

Knowing that Mondays are traditionally busy days at the office, a good strategy is keep you Monday schedule as clear as possible.

Take on something new.

Even though it may seem counter-intuitive, taking on some light, new responsibilities could actually make Mondays more enjoyable.

Have fun at work.

Take it upon yourself to do things that you enjoy in the office on Monday, Kahn says.

Have a post-work plan.

Your day shouldn’t just be about trudging through Monday to get it over with, but about looking forward to something.

Read on Forbes

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6 Secrets You Can Learn From The Happiest People On Earth

6 Secrets You Can Learn From The Happiest People On Earth | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Looking at scientific research, what can we learn from the happiest people on Earth to make our own lives better? Here are the answers.

1. Relationships, Relationships, Relationships

What happens when you look at the happiest people and scientifically analyze what they have in common? Researchers did just that.

There was a clear answer to what differentiated these people from everyone else — and it wasn’t money, smarts, age, gender or race. It was strong social relationships.

2. Do More, Not Less

The happiest people are those that are very busy but don’t feel rushed : Who among us are the most happy? Newly published research suggests it is those fortunate folks who have little or no excess time, and yet seldom feel rushed.

So what do you need to be doing? Things you’re good at

Signature strengths” are the things you are uniquely talented at — and using them brings you joy. People who deliberately exercised their signature strengths on a daily basis became significantly happier for months.

3. Do Not Stay In A Job You Hate

Karl Pillemer of Cornell University interviewed nearly 1500 people age 70 to 100+ for his book “30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans.”

What piece of advice were they more adamant about than any other? More adamant about than lessons regarding marriage, children and happiness? Do not stay in a job you dislike.

4. Plan Your Happiness

It’s ironic that we treasure happiness so much yet often treat it as this random bit of alchemy we luck into. That’s silly.

Passively waiting for happiness is a losing proposition. Happiness needs regular appointments.Schedule the things that make you happy.

5. Happiness Isn’t Everything

No one confuses the type of happiness ice cream brings with the positive feelings one gets from raising a good kid.

Happiness is a vague word. We need happy feelings but we also need meaning in our lives.

6. Give — But *Not* Until It Hurts

Giving makes us happier than receiving. In fact, it can create a feedback loop of happiness in your life.

Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.

However, being a martyr stresses you out and is bad for your health.

Read more on Barking Up The Wrong Tree

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Money can buy happiness

Money can buy happiness | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it



THE Easterlin paradox, named for economist Richard Easterlin, reckons that higher incomes do not necessarily make people happier. Since Mr Easterlin first made his conjecture in 1974, economists' views have evolved: money matters, studies suggest, but only up to a point. Become rich enough, and a bigger paycheque no longer leads to more happiness.


Yet a new NBER working paper by economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers, both of the University of Michigan, casts doubt on this chestnut. They use a trove of data generated by Gallup, a polling firm, from its World Poll. Gallup asked respondents around the world to imagine a "satisfaction ladder" in which the top step represents a respondent's best possible life. Those being polled are then asked where on the ladder they stand (from zero to a maximum of 10), and how much they earn.


Though some countries seem happier than others, people everywhere report more satisfaction as they grow richer. Even more striking, the relationship between income and happiness hardly changes as incomes rise. Moving from rich to richer seems to raise happiness just as much as moving from poor to less poor. One never really grows tired of earning more.


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7 stratégies pour améliorer son chez soi afin de mieux s'y sentir


Sarah Coffey, contributrice au site Apartment therapy, propose un plan d'attaque pour améliorer son environnement. Avant d'acheter un nouveau sofa, conseille-t-elle, il peut être préférable de débuter par des stratégies moins dispendieuses qui peuvent avoir autant ou plus d'impact.


Voici ses suggestions:


1. Nettoyer

Nettoyer constitue une base essentielle pour améliorer son environnement, souligne-t-elle. Un nouveau canapé ou tout autre amélioration ne peuvent compenser pour une demeure dont la propreté laisse à désirer.


2. Se débarrasser de quelque chose

Se débarrasser de quelque chose d'inutile, d'encombrant ou d'irritant esthétiquement est une amélioration peu coûteuse.


3. Se libérer des images d'intérieurs irréalistes et apprécier sa demeure pour ce qu'elle est

Tout comme les médias véhiculent des images irréalistes du corps, ils véhiculent aussi des images irréalistes d'intérieurs qui peuvent donner l'impression que le sien n'est pas à la hauteur.


4. Peindre

"Rien ne requinque une pièce comme de repeindre, et la bonne couleur peut contrebalancer des choses que vous possédez déjà, élevant votre logement à un nouveau niveau", rappelle-t-elle.


5. Redisposer les meubles

Redisposer les meubles est un moyen efficace pour changer son regard sur son intérieur.


6. Améliorer quelque chose.

Il peut s'agir de raviver un meuble en le peinturant, rembourrer d'une chaise, fabriquer une housse….


7. Réparer quelque chose.

Un robinet qui coule, une lumière qui ne fonctionne plus, un moustiquaire déchiré, un rideau brisé, une poignée de porte cassée… Remettre en état et retrouver des fonctionnalités perdues aide à apprécier sa demeure.



Lire sur Psychomedia : http://goo.gl/f55674

173 Sud's insight:


Liens vers les posts de Sarah Coffey : http://goo.gl/hsr4YZ

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How Incredibly Lazy People Can Form Productive Habits

How Incredibly Lazy People Can Form Productive Habits | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

If you want to change your behavior but not try that hard then pay attention to the friction involved.


Like many of us desk-bound keyboard-toilers, marketing strategist Gregory Ciotti is trying to get to the gym more. But Ciotti is also a productivity blogger, so he has a keen understanding of how to hack his morning routine . The solution: designing for laziness


"I pack my gym clothes in a bag the night before and place them right next to my door," he says. "On cold days, I even place my jacket on the counter-top by the door. By again designing for laziness, I eliminate all possible excuses by getting things ready when my willpower is high (aka: the night before, when I don’t have to go to the gym)."


By packing his bag the night before and placing it right by the door, Ciotti has reduced the friction associated with doing something healthy for himself. Conversely, you can increase the friction if you want to drop an unhealthy behavior.


Reducing or increasing friction, then, is a way of preventing ourselves from squandering our mental energy on less meaningful decisions. If the socks are in your gym bag, you don't need to find them in the morning; if the candy bar is on a far away shelf, you'll be less tempted to touch them.


Read all : http://goo.gl/vdR0ZL



173 Sud's insight:

Si vous souhaitez modifier votre comportement sans trop d'efforts alors faites attention à la friction impliquée.

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10 Scientific Ways To Become Happier [Chart]

10 Scientific Ways To Become Happier [Chart] | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it


The bottom line is, being happier will not only help you to be more productive during the day, but it can also help you to live a longer life. It’s one of the fundamental cornerstones of being fulfilled during the short time we spend her on earth. Hopefully this chart will put a smile on your face and a pep in your step.


173 Sud's insight:


 If you want some scientifically proven ways to activate happiness in your body, see this chart.

Sunridge Medical's curator insight, January 8, 2014 1:06 AM

5 (Free) Things You Gain from Smiling More:

a.You become more attractive instantly

b. You become more approachable

c. Your requests are more often met when you ask with a smile.

d. Your smile is contagious and everyone around you is now smiling



and 1 Bonus:  You attract happy, like minded people

Butoh's curator insight, January 12, 2014 3:55 PM

WHAT?!! You mean "Make a bunch of money" + "Work my butt off for the man" are not on the list??!  :-) 

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21 Habits Of Supremely Happy People

21 Habits Of Supremely Happy People | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, theorizes that while 60 percent of happiness is determined by our genetics and environment, the remaining 40 percent is up to us.


The pursuit of pleasure, research determined, has hardly any contribution to a lasting fulfillment. Instead, pleasure is "the whipped cream and the cherry" that adds a certain sweetness to satisfactory lives founded by the simultaneous pursuit of meaning and engagement.

+ They surround themselves with other happy people.

Joy is contagious. Researchers of the Framingham Heart Study who investigated the spread of happiness over 20 years found that those who are surrounded by happy people “are more likely to become happy in the future.” This is reason enough to dump the Debbie Downers and spend more time with uplifting people.

+ They smile when they mean it.
Even if you’re not feeling so chipper, cultivating a happy thought -- and then smiling about it -- could up your happiness levels and make you more productive, according to a study published in the Academy of Management Journal. It’s important to be genuine with your grin: The study revealed that faking a smile while experiencing negative emotions could actually worsen your mood.

+ They cultivate resilience.

According to psychologist Peter Kramer, resilience, not happiness, is the opposite of depression: Happy people know how to bounce back from failure. Resilience is like a padding for the inevitable hardship human beings are bound to face. As the Japanese proverb goes, “Fall seven times and stand up eight.”

+ They try to be happy.
Yep -- it’s as simple as it sounds: just trying to be happy can boost your emotional well-being, according to two studies recently published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. Those who actively tried to feel happier in the studies reported the highest level of positive moods, making a case for thinking yourself happy.

+ They are mindful of the good.
It’s important to celebrate great, hard-earned accomplishments, but happy people give attention to their smaller victories, too.

+ They appreciate simple pleasures.

A meticulously swirled ice cream cone. An boundlessly waggy dog. Happy people take the time to appreciate these easy-to-come-by pleasures. Finding meaning in the little things, and practicing gratitude for all that you do have is associated with a sense of overall gladness.

+ They devote some of their time to giving.

Even though there are only 24 hours in a day, positive people fill some of that time doing good for others, which in return, does some good for the do-gooders themselves.

+ They let themselves lose track of time. (And sometimes they can’t help it.)

When you’re immersed in an activity that is simultaneously challenging, invigorating and meaningful, you experience a joyful state called “flow.” Happy people seek this sensation of getting “caught up” or “carried away,” which diminishes self-consciousness and promotes the feelings associated with success.

+ They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.

+ They spend money on other people.

+ They make a point to listen.

+ They uphold in-person connections.

+ They look on the bright side.

+ They value a good mixtape.

+ They unplug.

+ They get spiritual.

+ They make exercise a priority.

+ They go outside.

+ They spend some time on the pillow.

+ They LOL.

+ They walk the walk.

Read more : http://goo.gl/Q03MCX

L'attitude des Héros's curator insight, October 15, 2013 9:44 AM

[en Anglais] Quelles sont les bonnes habitudes des gens heureux ?

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11 Powerful Ways to Fix Bad Body Language

Here are 11 common body language problems, and how to fix them. Give them a try to improve the way you communicate, and the way you are perceived by others.

1. Avoiding eye contact

When you avoid eye contact with someone else, you are communicating the message that you lack confidence in yourself, that you are uncomfortable, or that you are afraid or want to escape. You can fix this problem simply by making eye contact with the people you are communicating with.

2. Weak handshake

Shaking someone's hand is often one of the very first impressions we have of another person. If your handshake is weak or flaccid, then you are sending the message that you are, too. Be firm in your handshake, but avoid the kind of death grip that actually causes pain.

3. Sagging posture

When you slouch or slump, you are telling others that you have poor self-esteem, which is definitely not the message you want to send someone in business. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and keep your head up.

4. Weak voice

While what you say is important, how you say it can have an even greater impact on the other person in a conversation. If your voice is weak, then you may appear to be weak, too. Practice speaking in a way that is strong and confident. You don't have to be overly loud, just loud enough to be easily heard and understood.

5. Faked smile

Far worse than not smiling at all is faking a smile, which will label you as being insincere at best, or a fraud at worst. Let your smile emerge naturally and don't force it.

6. Standoffishness

When you're leaning away from someone in a conversation, you're sending the message that you either dislike him or her, or that you aren't interested in what the other person has to say. Instead of leaning away from others in your conversations, lean in.

7. Crossed arms or legs

When your arms or legs are tightly crossed, this indicates to others that you are in a defensive frame of mind--either that you are afraid of the other person, or that you are closed to what they have to say.

8. Grimacing/eye rolling

When you grimace or roll your eyes during your conversations, you are loudly telling the other person that you either don't believe what he or she is saying, or that you don't respect them. Instead of grimacing or rolling your eyes, practice smiling and nodding your head in agreement.

9. Playing with your smartphone

Nothing says that you'd rather be somewhere else louder than texting or otherwise playing with your smartphone while you're in a conversation with someone else. Make a point of putting away your electronic gadgets and put your full focus on the other person.

10. Blinking

When you increase your rate of blinking during the course of a conversation, you are saying to others that you are nervous or anxious. Be aware of the blinking of your eyes, and make a conscious effort to slow it down when you communicate with others.

11. Fidgeting/checking your watch or fingernails

When someone is constantly fidgeting, tapping their feet or fingers, or checking their watch, they are sending the signal that they are bored and want to be doing something--anything--else. Be aware of when you start fidgeting or checking your watch or fingernails during your conversations, and put a stop to it as soon as it starts.

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Why Chasing After Happiness Is Making You Unhappy

According to Dan Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist and author of the book Stumbling on Happiness, human beings have a "psychological immune system" that helps us adapt our views of the world so we can feel better about it.

Gilbert distinguishes this kind of happiness as "synthetic happiness"--the kind we make--verses "natural happiness." "Synthetic happiness is every bit as real and enduring as if you were to get exactly what you were hoping for," Gilbert said in his popular TED talk on the topic.

But according to a recent study by researchers from Stanford, Harvard, and the University of Houston, chasing happiness can actually make you less happy. The reason? People are often wrong about what they think will make them happy.

Still, the study found that individuals who went after specific goals that concretely helped others were able to achieve and maintain greater happiness. Setting specific vs. vague goals would be like the difference between wanting to recycle vs. wanting to save the environment. Strive for unrealistic or vague goals and you'll have a greater likelihood of being disappointed.

And how about not letting that happy feeling slip once you've gotten there? Psychologists and happiness experts, Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky have developed a two-part model for staying happier longer:

  1. Keep appreciating what you've got.
  2. Introduce some variety into your life.

Remind yourself what it was you loved so much when you felt that first jolt of happiness. And shake things up a bit so you don't get bored with what you’ve got.

173 Sud's insight:

Dans cette vidéo, Dan Gilbert conteste l'idée que nous serons malheureux si nous n'obtenons pas ce que nous voulons. Notre «système immunitaire psychologique» permet de nous sentir vraiment heureux, même quand les choses ne vont pas comme prévu.

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10 erreurs à éviter au travail

10 erreurs à éviter au travail | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Pour réussir sa carrière et établir des relations harmonieuses tout en minimisant le stress, il faut savoir éviter certaines erreurs au travail. Coup d’oeil sur 10 choses à ne pas faire!

  • Faire le travail des autres à leur place
  • Accepter les irruptions 
  • S’éparpiller 
  • Promettre beaucoup et livrer peu
  • Remettre à demain ce qu'on peut faire aujourd'hui
  • Parler contre les autres et créer des conflits 
  • Répondre à des appels ou à des courriels non importants et non urgents
  • Faire des crises de colère 
  • Parler trop fort 
  • Se croire indispensable

Lire l'article le BelÂge

173 Sud's insight:

Autre article intéressant :: 15 erreurs au travail... et comment réagir

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5 composantes de la sagesse

5 composantes de la sagesse | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

Alors que plusieurs définitions ont été données de la sagesse, elle est généralement vue comme une utilisation compétente des connaissances et de l'expérience pour améliorer son propre bien-être et celui des autres. Qu'est-ce qui distingue une personne capable d'être sage d'une personne moins capable? Plusieurs dimensions (ou composantes) de la sagesse ont été proposées.

Sur la base d'une revue de la littérature, le psychologue Jeffrey Dean Webster a proposé (2003) les 5 dimensions suivantes :

1. L'expérience

Il n'y a pas de sagesse sans expériences riches et variées. Les expériences nécessitant la résolution de choix difficiles, celles qui concernent les transitions de vie, celles qui exposent à de mauvais côtés de la vie (ex. la malhonnêteté…)… favorisent particulièrement le développement d'une sagesse. La nature des expériences étant importante, la sagesse n'est pas automatiquement liée à l'âge.

2. La régulation émotionnelle

Pour plusieurs chercheurs, la sensibilité aux affects et la régulation des émotions sont des éléments clés de la sagesse. L'exposition à un large spectre des émotions humaines et leur régulation appropriée, la capacité de distinguer des émotions subtiles et mixtes, une acceptation et une ouverture aux états affectifs positifs et négatifs et l'utilisation constructive des émotions contribuent à la sagesse.

3. La réminiscence et la réflexivité

La réflexion évaluative sur son passé et son présent aide à la formation et au maintien de l'identité, à la compréhension de ses points forts et ses points faibles, à la résolution de problème, à adaptation face aux difficultés et au développement d'une plus grande perspective concernant l'avenir.

4. L'ouverture

Puisque les problèmes sont déterminés de façon multiple, une ouverture
à des idées, des informations et des solutions potentielles alternatives optimise les efforts d'une personne pour surmonter les obstacles de manière efficace.

5. L'humour

Certains travaux suggèrent que la personne sage reconnaît, apprécie et utilise l'humour dans une variété de contextes et à des fins nombreuses. Certains types d'humour favorisent la reconnaissance de l'ironie, la réduction du stress pour soi et pour les autres et les liens sociaux.

Lire sur Psychomedia

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This Infographic Reveals How To Raise Happy And Healthy Kids

This Infographic Reveals How To Raise Happy And Healthy Kids | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

We all want to raise happy and healthy kids, but sometimes it’s harder than it sounds. This infographic takes a look at the studies behind what really affects kids’ happiness and well-being.

The graphic comes from happiness training app Happify, which showed us previously what makes happy couples tick. When it comes to raising children, some of the studies’ findings are no-brainers (kids who feel rejected or unloved by their parents are more likely to have emotional problems), but others are well worth keeping in mind.

For example, a mother’s satisfaction with her own life is directly related to a young child’s social and emotional skills — even more so than the amount of time the kid spends in childcare, her income, or her job. (So, mums, take care of yourselves!) Similarly, feeling love from the father may be even more important to the child’s happiness than feeling loved by mum. (So, dads, express your parental love!)

The Science of Raising Happy Kids [Infographic]

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Five Communication Mistakes Almost Every Couple Makes

Five Communication Mistakes Almost Every Couple Makes | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

No matter how in tune you are with your partner, misunderstandings and communication gaffes are always possible. Here are five of the most common, yet avoidable communication mistakes that could harm a relationship.

Some types of communication are more obvious signs your relationship might be doomed: extreme criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Today let's talk about the more subtle ways we might not be communicating as well as we could with our partners—and how to avoid them.

1. Assuming That More Communication Is the Solution

Surprise! You've probably heard before that good communication is the cornerstone of a happy relationship, and, while that might be true, communication alone won't necessarily create that happiness. Sometimes, too muchtalking could do the reverse.

2. Expecting Your Partner to Read Your Mind

Remember that time your significant other was supposed to do something you wanted but later you found out he or she had no clue? Yup, try as we might, humans aren't great at reading each other's minds. (We have a hard enough time understanding what we do communicate clearly to each other.)

3. Giving in and Not Really Saying What You Want or Think

If one or both people are averse to conflict, chances are emotions will be buried in the name of pleasing the other person. As someone who's the epitome of conflict avoidance, I can assure you that while keeps the peace for the short-term, it'll only gradually erode your own happiness and, in turn, the relationship.

4. Harping on (Possibly Hopeless) Issues

The opposite is true as well for couples where both people are stubborn and refuse to compromise. In that case, it's more like a one-lane street with two cars playing chicken with each other. One example of this is what Psychology Today calls the "Woodpecker Syndrome": one person fixates on their feelings and keeps going on and on about it while the other partner withdraws defensively.

5. Not Considering Things from the Other Person's Point of View

Sometimes it's just a matter of being clearer, more upfront, or knowing the best way to communicate with your partner that's at the core of better communication. Equally important, though, is making the effort to understand things from your partner's perspective—something we might not always remember to do. Empathy is the most important skill you can practice, personally and professionally. You don't always have to agree with the other person, but at least you'll both be on the same relationship page.

Read more on lifehacker : http://goo.gl/RD91S6

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21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever

21 Facts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

This infographic from happiness training app Happify could help you improve your romantic relationship. It sums up several important findings from studies on what makes couples happy.

Discover what scientists know about happy couples, and your relationship will never be the same--guaranteed.

173 Sud's insight:

Cette infographie révèle les secrets des couples les plus heureux

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5 Things that Make Us Happy

5 Things that Make Us Happy | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it



Happiness is a pretty relative term that is difficult to completely define. It is easy to know when you are unhappy, but it can be complicated to correctly attribute happiness to certain things in your life. In a recent study of Americans between the ages of 35 and 80, some questions were asked to get a better understanding of what brings happiness to the lives of individuals that are happy, content and fulfilled. Many of the answers were pretty predictable, but there were a few surprises.


+ Good Health Leads To Happiness

Happiness is often linked to being thankful and good health is a reason to be content. In the poll, 24% of Americans with good health claimed to be happy, but only 8% in bad health had achieved happiness. This is understandable and predictable due to the fact that we are often happiest when we are carefree and not sidetracked by worry. Health problems often lead to stress and can also hinder daily activities. Staying healthy is the best way to obtain a lifetime of happiness.


+ Fulfillment Through Family

There are few things in life that bring happiness and joy to your life the way that children and grandchildren can. It is often said that these relationships are the purest and the closest to unconditional love. It is clearly shown that the accomplishments of children and grandchildren lead to happiness. In the poll, 72% said that these accomplishments gave them joy and fulfillment. This type of pride found in these relationships is what many Americans attribute their happiness to.


+ Income Can Be A Contributing Factor To Happiness

Although health and family are often the most important factors linked to happiness, it has been established that income plays some part. Only 15% of Americans making less than $25,000.00 a year claimed to be truly happy. This could be true for many different reasons, but a lack of income can lead to many problems that can hinder your ability to remain positive and content. Although money isn’t everything, it is shown to have a positive impact on your happiness in some small way.


+ What Age Group Is The Happiest?

This study showed that individuals between the ages of 40 and 60 were often the most content. However, the 50’s can sometimes be an adjustment period and can be difficult to navigate. As individuals in this age group become comfortable in their retirement, they often find their true happiness.



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9 ways to get happy in the next 30 minutes

9 ways to get happy in the next 30 minutes | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it

1. Raise your activity level to pump up your energy.

If you're on the phone, stand up and pace. Walk to a coworker's office instead of sending an e-mail. Put more energy into your voice. Take a brisk 10-minute walk. Even better...

2. Take a walk outside.

Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. For an extra boost, get your sunlight first thing in the morning. Find the best walking workout for your exercise style.

3. Reach out.

Send an e-mail to a friend you haven't seen in a while, or reach out to someone new. Having close bonds with other people is one of the most important keys to happiness. When you act in a friendly way, not only will others feel more friendly toward you, but you'll also strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

4. Rid yourself of a nagging task.

Deal with that insurance problem, purchase something you need, or make that long-postponed appointment with the dentist. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a rush of elation.

5. Create a more serene environment.

Outer order contributes to inner peace, so spend some time organizing bills and tackling the piles in the kitchen. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do. In that time, take a quick look around the house and see how to get organized using everyday items.

6. Do a good deed.

Introduce two people by e-mail, take a minute to pass along useful information, or deliver some gratifying praise. In fact, you can also...

7. Save someone's life.

Sign up to be an organ donor, and remember to tell your family about your decision. Do good, feel good―it really works!

8. Act happy. Fake it 'til you feel it.

Research shows that even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood. And if you're smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable. There's no need to walk around in a constant state of worry. After all, what's the worst that can happen if you bounce a check or leave wet clothes in the dryer?

9. Learn something new.

Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it. But be honest! Pick a topic that really interests you, not something you think you "should" or "need to" learn about.



173 Sud's insight:

Non seulement ces tâches peuvent augmenter votre bonheur, mais le simple fait qu d'atteindre certains objectifs concrets va stimuler votre humeur.

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13 Scientifically Proven Ways To Be A Happier Person

13 Scientifically Proven Ways To Be A Happier Person | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it


You have the power to make yourself happier. That's what we learned from 13 scientific studies that discovered small changes we can all make to improve our outlook on life.


From writing down the good parts of your day to simply smiling, here are a few proactive steps you can take towards becoming a happier you.


1. Spend money on other people.


2. Count your blessings.


3. Try something new.


4. Delay gratification.


5. Expose yourself to more blue.


6. Set goals for yourself.


7. Stop defending your point of view.


8. Go to church.


9. Sleep at least six hours every night.


10. Slash your commute to 20 minutes.


11. Make sure you have at least 10 good friends.


12. Fake it 'til you make it.


13. Find yourself a romantic relationship. 


Read more: http://goo.gl/Zch1vv

173 Sud's insight:

13 scientific studies that teach us how to live happier and more optimistic lives.

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Study Shows To Reach Success Work Happier Not Harder [Infographic]

Study Shows To Reach Success Work Happier Not Harder [Infographic] | Le Bonheur, ça se travaille | Scoop.it


When it comes to success, a recent study shows that working happier is better than working harder. Happy people reach success much faster than sad people.

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