Influence vs manipulation

Cooperation is more complicated than folk-theory would have it. Cooperation and competition co-evolve: Let's you and I cooperate to compete against them. And it seems that deception and cooperation also co-evolve.

Your dignity may be attacked, ravaged and disgracefully mocked, but it can never be taken away unless you willingly surrender it.  It’s all about finding the strength to defend your boundaries.

What is persuasive writing?

In persuasive writing the writer presents his or her opinion and tries to convince the reader to agree. If you are a blogger and try to convince people with your ideas, you may use this kind of writing style to reach your audience.

These notes will help you to start with persuasive writing. Give your writing the needed structure and "mix in" some tools.

Be creative!

In the The Influencer Project, or the “shortest marketing conference ever” 60 of the web’s brightest minds came together to speak about influence for 60 seconds each.

Here each speaker shared what was found unique and essential to building digital influence.

Here they are, in order of appearance:

#1. David Meerman Scott. “Stop talking about your products and services. People don’t care about products and services; they care about themselves.” -@dmscott

#2. Anne Holland. “Improve the buttons on your landing page. Can you make your button bigger?” -@anneholland55

#3. Mike Volpe. “We share lots of things that most companies would keep internal. By sharing both the good and the bad, you build digital influence.” -@mvolpe

#4. Michael Port. “Consistency. Consistency demonstrates commitment. You’re going to earn trust because you’re consistent.” -@michaelport

#5. Liz Strauss. “Know where you’re going — because who would want to follow you if you don’t know where you’re going?” -@lizstrauss

#6. Robert Scoble. “Follow better people. The better your inbound is, the better your output will be. And your output is what people follow.” -@scobleizer

#7. Carol Roth. “Align yourself with outstanding strategic partners.” -@CarolJSRoth

#8. Scott Porad. “Make connections with people online, and then go and meet them in person in the real world, offline.” -@scottporad

#9. Joe Pulizzi. “Create content that stands for something: what I call Higher Purpose Content Marketing.” -@juntajoe

#10. Laurel Touby. “Each month, on the first day of the month, assign yourself 3 digital trends you’ve been hearing about and do a test drive.” -@laureltouby

#11. Hugh MacLeod. “We use other people’s stuff or other people’s content to socialize. And your stuff’s either a social object or it’s not.” -@gapingvoid

#12. Chris Guillebeau. “Avoid incestuous blogging. Instead of sticking to one niche, think bigger: what social circles are related to yours?” -@chrisguillebeau

#13. Laura Roeder. “Just start talking to people! Don’t worry about what to tweet, just start responding.” -@lkr

#14. Michael Margolis. “People either identify and connect with your story or they don’t. Have a story that’s worth telling.” -@getstoried

#15. Dave Navarro. “Find people who have your audience already and co-create products with them.” -@rockyourday

#16. Loren Feldman. “Either be super-fake and make believe you’re friendly to everybody, or be completely honest.” -@1938media

#17. Ann Handley. “Ground your content in who you are. Don’t be afraid to have a point of view. But also give it wings to soar freely and be shared.” -@marketingprofs

#18. Jim Kukral. “Facebook advertising: you can run ads on profiles of people that work just within certain organizations!” -@jimkukral

#19. Joselin Mane. “As soon as you meet someone, introduce that individual to someone else you know.” -@joselinmane

#20. John Jantsch. “Get very good at filtering and aggregating content. Deliver it to people at the right time, the right size, the right amount.” -@ducttape

#21. Marshall Kirkpatrick. “Be early in the news cycle on any conversation of general interest. Detect early voices out in the wilderness.” -@marshallk

#22. Shama Kabani. “Create [video] content around your area of expertise and then distribute, distribute with gusto!” -@shama

#23. Terry Starbucker. “The only way to build influence is to go out and try and get it yourself, and to overcome that fear of doing so.” -@starbucker

#24. Johnny B. Truant. “Defy convention where it’s appropriate. Only a few people dare to step outside. And people take notice of that.” -@johnnybtruant

#25. Jason Falls. “Share good content consistently. That’s how I’ve done it.” -@jasonfalls

#26. Robbin Phillips. “It is not about digital. It’s about people. It’s about passion conversations, not product conversations.” -@robbinphillips

#27. Yaro Starak. “Learn how to talk more about other people. If you’re looking to influence a certain thought leader, talk about them.” -@yarostarak

#28. Michael Stelzner. “Set up a fan page on Facebook. Make a welcome tab with a video on it, and ask a poll question.” -@mike_stelzner

#29. Erica OGrady. “Make people around you more successful than you are.” -@ericaogrady

#30. Gary Vaynerchuk. “Talk about things you know. The reason Wine Library TV worked was because I knew what I was talking about.” -@garyvee

#31. Nathan Hangen. “Don’t worry about getting attention from other people. Make something worth talking about.” -@nhangen

#32. Danielle LaPorte. “Get yourself properly interviewed. Either hire a writer, or get yourself in front of a camera with a friend.” -@daniellelaporte

#33. Guy Kawasaki. “Repeat your tweets. I repeat them every eight hours.” -@guykawasaki

#34. David Bullock. “Move offline. Sometimes your market is not online. Use another media—television, radio, speaking events.” -@davidbullock

#35. Vanessa Fox. “A lot of people attract [visitors] from search. They’ve missed that big second step: solving their problems.” -@vanessafox

#36. Lewis Howes. “Find one specific niche and master that niche.” -@lewishowes

#37. Valeria Maltoni. “Do a weekly chat on Twitter. I’m a business strategist, so we use the principle of kaizen to help people at #kaizenblog.” -@ConversationAge

#38. Sergio Balegno. “Invest more time mapping a strategy for not just using social media, but for integrating social media with other tactics.” -@sergiobalegno

#39. Hank Wasiak. “Get rid of conventional views of influence. It should be about our influence — from my influence to our influence.” -@hankwasiak

#40. Mitch Joel. “Get active in other people’s communities. Get out of your own head and get into other people’s spaces.” -@mitchjoel

#41. Tamsen McMahon. “Building digital influence is about ‘digital dimensionality.’ Show as many sides of yourself or your business as you can.” -@tamadear

#42. Justin Levy. “Listen to the conversations around you. See how different networks interact, because not every network’s the same.” -@justinlevy

#43. Chris Garrett. “What you’re looking for is a long-term relationship. You don’t want to gain influence and lose influence.” -@chrisgarrett

#44. Cathy Brooks. “Think about the authenticity and consistency of your voice across your entire online and offline presence.” -@cathybrooks

#45. Todd Defren. “To change your world, start by trying to change the world. What is it that you feel passionate enough about to shake things up?” -@tdefren

#46. Brian Clark. “Learn to be a storyteller. Narrative — it’s what makes us human. Big media does it great. You have to as well.” -@copyblogger

#47. Scott Belsky. “Share your ideas liberally. Accountability and letting people know what you’re up to can make all the difference.” -@scottbelsky

#48. Wendy Piersall. “You have to put your business model before pursuing fame. Whatever you do online, make sure that it adds to your bottom line.” -@emom

#49. Mark Silver. “Many people are afraid to speak; if you speak for them, they will be listening.” -@markheartofbiz

#50. Dan Schawbel. “Go further down the long tail and choose a much smaller niche to focus on. Be the personal finance expert for Minnesota.” -@danschawbel

#51. Shashi Bellamkonda. “Find out from your customers which social networks they are using, and be there for them at the moment they need you.” -@shashib

#52. Gretchen Rubin. “Self-expression is the new entertainment. Get people talking. I had success just asking, ‘What’s your comfort food?’” -@gretchenrubin

#53. Muhammad Saleem. “Give as much as you can give. Too often we’re too focused on what we want to accomplish.” -@msaleem

#54. Aaron Kahlow. “Think about social media not as its own strategy, but a strategy to enhance your existing marketing and business goals.” -@aaronkahlow

#55. Alexandra Levit. “Target between five and ten individuals who you admire, whose work you’ve followed, and gradually start getting to know them.” -@alevit

#56. Steve Woodruff. “Identify gifted up-and-comers. By coming alongside them and becoming an advocate, you end up creating an advocate for life.” -@swoodruff

#57. David Siteman Garland. “Start the media arm of your company, whether it’s a special show, or a podcast, or an online magazine.” -@therisetothetop

#58. Amber Naslund. “Online influence is a slow burn. It’s something that’s grown by having quality one-on-one conversations over time.” -@ambercadabra

#59. Julien Smith. “Get someone else to take a look at what you have that you maybe take for granted and gives you an advantage over other people.” -@julien

#60. Brian Solis. “How do you become a thought leader? It starts with *being* a thought leader and then connecting the dots back to you.” -@briansolis

Source: http://www.copyblogger.com/increase-influence-online/

Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Thousands of years ago, the great Chinese general and philosopher Sun Tzu offered a timeless piece of advice that is as true in warfare as it is in the business of our lives: Know thy enemy. When it comes to the battle of growing into the kind of leader you want to be and others deserve to see, we must learn that one of the greatest enemies of our effectiveness is allowing hypocrisy to displace honesty in how we govern our lives.

Bob Burg, the author of the Go-Giver (http://tinyurl.com/cuwkdoc) is an inspiration.  This book actually made me feel like God was talking to me through the story.  I was going through an extremely difficult time and the universal lesson of giving first, before expecting to receive, was the most influential reminder I could have gotten at that time.  

Since then, my life has improved consistently.  Not only do I look to GIVE first, I am also OPEN to receiving!  

This is a great article that showcases Bob's philosophy and his ongoing work.  

Thank you Bob Burg!!!

Personal Attention: You know the drill: Give the new hire a laptop and tell him to go “make it happen.” And it often fails.

To become a great leader, you must make your reports’ success into your personal mission. The best leaders are always out talking to their people. They take the time to coach and train, knowing neglect only reinforces bad habits, stagnation, and disengagement.

They provide regular feedback on performance, knowing the best people crave candidness and loathe sugarcoating.

Most important, these leaders pay attention.

They care about their people and stay in touch on a personal level, knowing their inner lives influence their success as much as any guidance. That’s how they know when to push and when to pull back. Bottom line: The best leaders make their reports feel valued – or inspire them do those things that’ll ultimately make them feel better (and make your organization run better).

(From the article): Personal Attention: You know the drill: Give the new hire a laptop and tell him to go “make it happen.” And it often fails. To become a great leader, you must make your reports’ success into your personal mission. The best leaders are always out talking to their people. They take the time to coach and train, knowing neglect only reinforces bad habits, stagnation, and disengagement. They provide regular feedback on performance, knowing the best people crave candidness and loathe sugarcoating. Most important, these leaders pay attention. They care about their people and stay in touch on a personal level, knowing their inner lives influence their success as much as any guidance. That’s how they know when to push and when to pull back. Bottom line: The best leaders make their reports feel valued – or inspire them do those things that’ll ultimately make them feel better (and make your organization run better).

True in any language, well worth translating if necessary!

In my experience you tend to get bak what you give.  So this is a strategy for abundance.

(From the article): Part of the solution must involve targeting the takers in the organization—providing incentives for them to collaborate and establishing repercussions for refusing reasonable requests. But even more important, my research suggests, is helping the givers act on their generous impulses more productively. The key is for employees to gain a more nuanced understanding of what generosity is and is not. Givers are better positioned to succeed when they distinguish generosity from three other attributes—timidity, availability, and empathy—that tend to travel with it.

I agree with AlGonzalezinfo's insight: Very Good Scoop David!  

Nice musings on the importnace of giving feedback appropriately from Blair Glaser.

Not only asking the right questions - but asking if the other person is open to feedback - critical to success.

An older artcile but still very true today.

Aspiring idea entrepreneurs are everywhere: in businesses, classrooms, and communities of all kinds, all over the world. Maybe you know one. Maybe you are one. But you don't have a massive influence-creation machine behind you (few people do) and you wonder how to get your idea heard above all the others competing for attention. How do you proceed?

You have to take your idea public, which means entering the "ideaplex" — that glamorous, treacherous place where videos go viral, TED stardom beckons, a thousand new authors publish each day, and think shops like IDEO make a business of idea generation.

Answer the following questions:

1. What is my purpose? People are driven to go public for all kinds of reasons. Those who gain genuine, long-lasting influence are the ones who want to create positive change for other people. So ask yourself: Why am I doing this? The more you want to help others, the greater the influence you will have.

2. How does my personal narrative convey the idea? For people to respond to an idea, it must evoke emotion. That's why idea entrepreneurs tell personal stories. If you can move people with an idea, they will embrace it on a gut level.

3. How can people put my idea into practice? Ideas take root when we can use them in our everyday lives. Model the methods yourself and also enable people to adapt them to their own situations.The more people use an idea, the more they will believe in it.

4. Do I have enough supporting material? An idea has to be expressed in different ways for people to understand it as fully as possible, and in their individual way. The richer the understanding of an idea, the more meaning it will have for people.

5. Who do I really want to reach? Who will be most affected by your idea? Whose thinking and behavior do you most want to affect? The more diverse audiences you can reach, the broader your influence will be.

6. How does my idea connect with a greater "thinking journey?" No idea is completely original. Most are improvements on an existing body of thought. All the most successful idea entrepreneurs stand on the shoulders of giants, and usually say so. In fact, it's important you don't try to own your idea. When you give as much of it away as you can, people will be more — not less — likely to credit you.

Read the article: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/04/how_to_influence_people_with_y.html

Nice musings on the importnace of giving feedback appropriately from Blair Glaser.

Not only asking the right questions - but asking if the other person is open to feedback - critical to success.

from article : "When you are about to “be honest”, ask yourself, what is my intention in expressing my truth right now? What is the impact I want to have?"

Do you see the difference?

People who know the own value, think about other people.
People who think they have a value, think about themselves. 

Being important and feeling important makes a great difference.

Great leaders lead for people, mediocre leaders lead for authority.

NEVER TAKE YOURSELF TOO IMPORTANT!

A HIGH KLOUT SCORE DOES NOT MAKE YOU IMPORTANT!

INFLUENCE AND IMPORTANCE ARE NOT THE SAME!

http://wisdomforfutureleaders.org/influence-and-importance-are-not-the-same/

Great question and good research.  In my experience with most people earning a reasonable (probably above minimum wage) wad, money is one of these  "and another thing...' things. E.g, "They don't value, me praise me, give me a purpose worth believing in, and another thing, they don't pay me enough!'

You're more likely to like your job if you focus on the work itself, and less likely to enjoy it if you're focused on money

Does money actually motivate or demotivate people? This is a good overview of some research on HBR blog.

Although, the author cannot give a clear conclusion, he does say this: "The fact that there is little evidence to show that money motivates us, and a great deal of evidence to suggest that it actually demotivates us, supports the idea that that there may be hidden costs associated with rewards." Interesting stuff!

Public speaking is persuading, after all. Vic

Great article that puts persuasion into context. It is about being helpful to people who could make use of what you have to sell.

Geniales insights...