Last week, a report by the University of San Diego School of Law found that about 686,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect in 2013. T
raumatic childhood events can lead to mental health and behavioral problems later in life, explains psychiatrist and traumatic stress expert Bessel van der Kolk, author of the recently published book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Children’s brains are literally shaped by traumatic experiences, which can lead to problems with anger, addiction, and even criminal activity in adulthood, says van der Kolk. Sound Medicine’s Barbara Lewis spoke with him about his book.
Think a satisfying sex life in a long-term relationship is kind of an anomaly? Sure, people pretend it exists because it makes for good romantic comedies and keeps us married folks somewhat hopeful of our futures.
In today’s high-tech, high-speed, high-stress world, communication is more important then ever, yet we seem to devote less and less time to really listening to one another. Genuine listening has become a rare gift—the gift of time. It helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy. At work, effective listening means fewer errors and less wasted time. At home, it helps develop resourceful, self-reliant kids who can solve their own problems. Listening builds friendships and careers. It saves money and marriages.
"We all have one particularly important story that we tell ourselves, about ourselves: our "life story," which helps us to organize our experiences and give us a sense of self, even dictating our behavior in some cases. We're constantly updating, amending and adding to this story as we encounter new experiences.
By understanding how we create these stories and how they are structured, we can alter our own stories and rewrite our own scripts in ways that improve our lives."
Read the full article to find out more about these six principles from narrative psychology to help you better understand your 'life story.'
Your story is constantly evolving, becoming more positive later in life.Your present emotions color your entire narrative.We conceive of our life story in the structure of a novel.Successful people's stories contain themes of redemption.Your stories are dictated by social and cultural norms.You can take control of your own stories.
Via Kim Zinke (aka Gimli Goose)
Debra Manchester's insight:
Are you the hero or heroine in your story or are you a victim?
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On Oprah’s final episode of her wildly popular TV show, she highlighted the importance of validation: “I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show,” she said, “and all 30,000 had one thing in common.
Shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown has studied the power of these intensely painful feelings as a professor at the University of Houston's Graduate College of Social Work.
By keeping quiet, Brown says your shame will grow exponentially. "It will creep into every corner and crevice of your life," she says.
The antidote, Brown says, is empathy. She explains that by talking about your shame with a friend who expresses empathy, the painful feeling cannot survive. "Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I'm alone," she says.
Here's the bottom line: "Shame cannot survive being spoken," Brown says. "It cannot survive empathy."
“There may be no more powerful method of learning than through music, and no more important lessons for children than those that focus on character and social and emotional skills,” according to clinical psychologist and author Don MacMannis, Ph.D.
Debra Manchester's insight:
Music can be a powerful medium for building social and emotional intelligence in kids.
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