Of course, none of these fictional characters actually wrote the paper, titled 'Fuzzy, homogeneous configurations'. Rather, it's a nonsensical text, submitted by engineer Alex Smolyanitsky in an effort to expose a pair of scientific journals — the Journal of Computational Intelligence and Electronic Systems and the comic sans-loving Aperito Journal of NanoScience Technology.
Don't mess with an electric eel. Turns out these animals are neural puppetmasters, using electricity as the strings to manipulate their prey. While the serpentine creatures regularly use their zapping powers to temporarily paralyze unlucky fish, they can also send out a shock that will cause hidden fish to twitch, betraying their positions and making them easy targets.
Exaggerated and scaremongering health journalism might just seem like an attempt to shift papers, but research conducted by Cardiff University has found that in fact the majority originates in academic press releases.