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Eugene Gendlin on clients finding their own way

Gene Gendlin on the dangers of therapists being too attached to their schools of thought; this is a clip from the Relationality in Focusing workshop from February 2005.


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The Sacred Art of Listening

The Sacred Art of Listening | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
This state of listening is the precursor or the prerequisite to loving relatedness. The more you understand the state of listening—of being able to have the sounds of rain wash through you, of receiving the sound and tone of another’s voice—the more you know about nurturing a loving relationship.

In a way, it’s an extremely vulnerable position.

As soon as you stop planning what you’re going to say or managing what the other person’s saying, all of a sudden, there’s no control. You’re open to your own sadness, your own anger and discomfort. Listening means putting down control. It’s not a small thing to do.

We spend most of our moments when someone is speaking: planning what we’re going to say, evaluating it, trying to come up with our presentation of our self or controlling the situation.

Pure listening is a letting go of control. It’s not easy and takes training.

And yet it’s only when we can let go of that controlling that we open up to the real purity of loving. We can’t see or understand someone in the moments that we are trying to control what they are saying or trying to impress them with what we are saying.

There’s no space for that person to just unfold and be who they are.

Listening and unconditionally receiving what another expresses, is an expression of love.

The bottom line is, when we are listened to, we feel connected. When we’re not listened to, we feel separate. So whether it’s the communicating between different tribes or religions, ethnicities, racial groups or different generations, we need to listen.

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A "Tangle" is a Different Kind of Problem | Focusing Resources

A "Tangle" is a Different Kind of Problem | Focusing Resources | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

When a certain kind of life issue seems tangled and stuck and impossible to change, is there hope?


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More good stuff from Ann

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Focusing?

Collage introduction to the process and experience of Focusing.

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focusing_gr's curator insight, June 12, 2015 8:20 AM

Yes you know it!

John Threadgold's curator insight, June 13, 2015 2:14 PM

this is brilliant ! And and yes it is focusing ! 

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The Focusing Institute: Conversations June 2015

The Focusing Institute: Conversations June 2015 | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
The Focusing Institute: Focusing is direct access to a bodily knowing. Focusing is a practice developed from the Philosophy of the Implicit.

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focusing_gr's curator insight, June 9, 2015 5:57 AM
Bruce Gibbs, Andrew MacDonald, Bruce Nayowith and Serge Prengel talk about the Shared Field
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If psychosis is a rational response to abuse, let’s talk about it

If psychosis is a rational response to abuse, let’s talk about it | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

"...Research (often funded by drugs companies) has been largely concerned with the brain as a physical organ, rather than with the person within whose head it is housed, or indeed with their life experience. And, because of the presumption that psychotic symptoms are the preserve of mentally ill people, estimates of the numbers affected have been based on the numbers who have received a particular diagnosis.

 

But a report published last week by the British Psychological Society’s division of clinical psychology, challenges many of these assumptions.Understanding Psychosis and Schizophrenia presents a compelling case for trying to understand psychotic experiences as opposed to merely categorising them. It argues that such experiences can be understood from a psychological perspective, in the same way as other thoughts and feelings, rather than being placed on the other side of an artificial sick/healthy divide.

[...]

It is widely accepted that early life experience, trauma, abuse and deprivation greatly increase the risk of developing psychosis. Indeed,research suggests that experiencing multiple childhood traumas gives approximately the same risk of developing psychosis as smoking does for developing lung cancer.

 

Many people object to the psychotic label because they consider their experiences a natural reaction to the abuse they have suffered, and even a vital survival tool. What they want above all is space and time to talk about their experiences and to make sense of them. It is shocking how few are given this opportunity...."

 

 [click on the title for the full article]

 

 


 


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3 Ways to Bring Mindfulness Into Therapy

3 Ways to Bring Mindfulness Into Therapy | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

"Mindfulness is now the fastest-developing area in mental health.

Many therapists have come to regard cultivating moment-to-moment awareness as a curative mechanism that transcends diagnosis, addresses underlying causes of suffering, and serves as an active ingredient in most effective psychotherapies. The clinical value of mindfulness interventions has been demonstrated for many psychological difficulties, including depression, anxiety, chronic pain, substance abuse, insomnia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

And it doesn’t matter which therapeutic approach we take, be it psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, humanistic, or any other. Mindfulness practices can be tailored to fit the particular needs of our patients. Though historically mindfulness practices have been presented as one-size-fits-all remedies, as the field matures we’re beginning to understand how these practices affect different individuals with different problems, how to modify them in different clinical situations, and how to work with the inevitable obstacles that arise.

Mindfulness can also enhance emotional well-being of clinicians, helping us develop beneficial therapeutic qualities such as acceptance, attention, compassion, equanimity, and presence that enrich and enliven our work and help us avoid burnout. Once we have developed these qualities in ourselves, we can safely and thoughtfully introduce our patients to practices that lead to a wide variety of clinical benefits.

Here are a few ways that mindfulness can benefit a therapy situation..."

[click on the title for the full article]

 



 


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yes ! 

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Roles in Therapy: Rollo May, Carl Rogers, Virginia Satir, Thomas Szasz.

Rollo May, Carl Rogers, Virginia Satir, and Thomas Szasz at The Evolution of Psychotherapy conference (1985)

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brilliant ! 

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The Neuroscience of Bad Habits and Why It’s Not About Will Power

The Neuroscience of Bad Habits and Why It’s Not About Will Power | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

"...Mindfulness practice has been shown to activate the prefrontal cortex and cool down the amygdala. This gives us the ability to widen the space between stimulus and response where choice lies and access possibilities and opportunities we didn’t know were there before. This is crucial when it comes to our addictive behaviors to take a step back, “think through the drink” and recognize the various options that lie before us.

For years I’ve taught workshops on the neuroscience of bad habits and how to begin to break free from them (Have one coming up here October 25th). We can learn to step into the pause, notice the sensation of the urge that’s there and as the late Alan Marlatt, Ph.D. said, “surf the urge” as it peaks, crests and falls back down like a wave in the ocean.

One place to start is to just get curious about the pull you feel to whatever you think you’re compulsive with. An easy one besides some of the arguably more destructive habits (drugs, alcohol) is our phones.

Today, be on the lookout for what cues you to check your app. Do you see someone else doing it? Are you waiting somewhere and there’s something uncomfortable about waiting? Is it a certain time of day or place?

Training your brain to recognize this cue can help you get some space from it to ask, “What do I really want to pay attention to right now? What matters?” As we get better at recognizing that space between stimulus and response and making the choices that run alongside our values, like riding a bike, it will start to come more naturally..."

[click on the title for the full article]

 


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Julianna Bonola's curator insight, October 22, 2014 8:21 PM

Want to change your behavior?  Learn to 'surf the urge" of old unwanted behaviors, and  make the choices that align with your personal life values  here.

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Focusing Tip #439: Your body remembers how you were treated as a baby.

Focusing Tip #439: Your body remembers how you were treated as a baby. | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
“How do our emotional hurts and wounds affect our relationships?”I was asked:
What are the typical emotional hurts and wounds that people suffer in their lives and how do they affect our relationships specifically romantic relationships?

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yes !

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Akira Ikemi - An Interview - YouTube

Akira Ikemi, Ph.D. Kansai University, Osaka, Japan Graduate School of Professional & Clinical Psychology Focusing-Oriented Therapist http://www.akira-ikemi.n...

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amazing stuff

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A Wholebody Focusing Experience

Experiencing Focusing: Creating a "space", welcoming a "something", maintaining a distance and watching it reveal and shift to something new. 


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“How do I tell people what Focusing is?”

“How do I tell people what Focusing is?” | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
The post “How do I tell people what Focusing is?” appeared first on Focusing Resources.
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#FOT: 4 Attitudes Experiential Exercise - John Threadgold

Watch the full event here https://www.onlinevents.co.uk/john-threadgold/ About John Threadgold John Threadgold is a BACP accredited Focusing-Oriented Person ...


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This is from my Level 2 course in Focusing-Oriented Therapy ! 

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Society for Humanistic Psychology: Empirical Support for Carl Rogers' Person-Centered Theory of the "Fully Functioning Person"

Society for Humanistic Psychology: Empirical Support for Carl Rogers' Person-Centered Theory of the "Fully Functioning Person" | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
Society for Humanistic Psychology: Empirical Support for Carl Rogers' Person-Centered Theory of... https://t.co/Mou8Aw7Cml

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“Am I just making this up?”

“Am I just making this up?” | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
Focusing Tip #470
“It is always this discomfort in the stomach. Then the doubts come: ‘Am I making this up?'”
Pedro writes:
Regarding the body sense, it is always this discomfort in the stomach, that tends to increase when I check for it.

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Brilliant !

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Focusing?

Collage introduction to the process and experience of Focusing.

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this is brilliant ! And and yes it is focusing ! 

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focusing_gr's curator insight, June 12, 2015 8:20 AM

Yes you know it!

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The power of empathy: how being heard calms the body. | living focusing blog

The power of empathy: how being heard calms the body. | living focusing blog | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
Blog on Focusing and embodied living

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This is wonderful and true  :-) 

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If psychosis is a rational response to abuse, let’s talk about it

If psychosis is a rational response to abuse, let’s talk about it | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

"...Research (often funded by drugs companies) has been largely concerned with the brain as a physical organ, rather than with the person within whose head it is housed, or indeed with their life experience. And, because of the presumption that psychotic symptoms are the preserve of mentally ill people, estimates of the numbers affected have been based on the numbers who have received a particular diagnosis.

 

But a report published last week by the British Psychological Society’s division of clinical psychology, challenges many of these assumptions.Understanding Psychosis and Schizophrenia presents a compelling case for trying to understand psychotic experiences as opposed to merely categorising them. It argues that such experiences can be understood from a psychological perspective, in the same way as other thoughts and feelings, rather than being placed on the other side of an artificial sick/healthy divide.

[...]

It is widely accepted that early life experience, trauma, abuse and deprivation greatly increase the risk of developing psychosis. Indeed,research suggests that experiencing multiple childhood traumas gives approximately the same risk of developing psychosis as smoking does for developing lung cancer.

 

Many people object to the psychotic label because they consider their experiences a natural reaction to the abuse they have suffered, and even a vital survival tool. What they want above all is space and time to talk about their experiences and to make sense of them. It is shocking how few are given this opportunity...."

 

 [click on the title for the full article]

 

 


 


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Relationship = Distance + Connection: A Comparison of Inner Relationship Techniques to Finding Distance Techniques in Focusing

Relationship = Distance + Connection: A Comparison of Inner Relationship Techniques to Finding Distance Techniques in Focusing | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

"...Disidentification is the process by which the client disidentifies from felt experience (“A part of me feels sad.”) rather than being identified with felt experience (“I am sad.”). Disidentification is often the first step toward establishing the Inner Relationship.

The essence of disidentification is to help the client move from “I am [this feeling]” to “I have [this feeling].” In most cases, disidentification can be facilitated simply with empathic listening or reflection, in which the therapist adds phrases like “a part of you” or “a place in you” or “something in you.”

Disidentification often comes just before acknowledging, or is combined with it. It is difficult, even impossible, to acknowledge without disidentification.

Client: “I hate that fear.”

Therapist: “So there’s a part of you that hates that fear.”

Client: “Yes.”

Therapist: “You might see if you’d like to say ‘Hello’ to the part that hates the fear.”

Or:

Client: “I hate that fear.”

Therapist: “You might see if you’d like to say ‘Hello’ to the part of you that hates that fear.”

“There must be some good reason…” When the client experiences the felt sense as oppressive or adversive, I have found it very helpful to propose that it may have a good reason for being that way, at least from its point of view. Sometimes I add that this “good” reason may be an old reason; sometimes I say, “It may think it has a positive purpose for you.” This is based on my philosophy, borne out my experience, that there are no enemies within the self. Margaret Warner in her work with Multiple Personality Disorder (reported in a presentation given in San Francisco, December 1990) has pointed out that even aspects of the self that seem to be cruel and self-destructive, as in cases of self-mutilation, have been found to believe that they are serving a protective function.

Client: “It’s cutting off my breathing.”

Therapist: “And let’s assume, just for a little while, that it may think it has a positive purpose for doing that.”

Client: “It doesn’t want me to feel so much.” etc...."

[click on the title for the full article]

 


Via Dimitris Tsantaris
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this is brilliant ! 

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The Top 5 Myths About Mindfulness Meditation

The Top 5 Myths About Mindfulness Meditation | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
Mindfulness can be practiced in many ways. Your personal circumstances should dictate what works for you. There is no single right way to do it. If you struggle to artificially jam meditation into your day, it will become an unpleasant tug of war. In the end, marrying meditation with your life is a matter of balance.

There are many people who intentionally carve out time in their day to sit and practice a formal mindfulness meditation: learning a basic mindfulness meditation such as following the breath and practicing it on a regular, preferably daily, schedule. These are doctors, lawyers, teachers, police officers, grocery store clerks, sports players, and even some politicians.

There are also many people who dedicate their lives to an informal practice of being curious and present in the things they’re already doing. This might include coming to the senses in the shower, intentionally listening to people with curiosity, taking a mindful run, or being present to comfortable and uncomfortable feelings off and on throughout the day.

In my experience, it helps to have both a formal practice of mindfulness and informal practices that extend mindfulness into everyday life. As the 15th century Indian poet Kabir said, “Wherever you are that’s the entry point.”

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Focusing Tip #439: Your body remembers how you were treated as a baby.

Focusing Tip #439: Your body remembers how you were treated as a baby. | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
“How do our emotional hurts and wounds affect our relationships?”I was asked:
What are the typical emotional hurts and wounds that people suffer in their lives and how do they affect our relationships specifically romantic relationships?

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Carl Rogers, Creativity and the RSA : RSA blogs

Carl Rogers, Creativity and the RSA : RSA blogs | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it

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true !
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focusing_gr's curator insight, September 13, 2014 10:47 AM

After four years writing a PhD about ‘wisdom’, I emerged only somewhat the wiser. In mycurrent role I’m often asked to talk or advise people on ‘behaviour change’, but rarely manage to hide my discomfort with the ambiguity of ‘behaviour’ and the maddening vagueness of ‘change’. Now I find myself leading a two year thought leadership project on ‘spirituality‘ – a concept that does strange things to people’s facial expressions. And just when I thought I might finally be emerging into a post-conceptual, keep-it-real adulthood, my employer decided to build a strategic review around a reappraisal of ‘creativity‘.

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Focusing Tip #434: Should you ask your parts what “their truths” are?

Focusing Tip #434: Should you ask your parts what “their truths” are? | Focusing-Oriented Therapy - | Scoop.it
“My companion at one point suggested that these parts all might want to share what the truth is for them…” Susan writes: My question has to do with a Focusing session in which I explored embarking on a more proactive leadership role in my life.
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