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we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, - Robert F. Kennedy

we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, - Robert F. Kennedy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

“We can move in that direction as a country, in greater polarization - black people amongst blacks, and white amongst whites, filled with hatred toward one another.

 

Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand, compassion and love....

 

What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another.” Robert F. Kennedy

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Empathic Family & Parenting
News from around the word about Empathic Parenting and Familly Life
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
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Empathy Movement Magazine: Empathic Family & Parenting

Empathy Movement Magazine:  Empathic Family & Parenting | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Sponsored by Edwin Rutsch Empathy Guide Services
Visit  http://cultureofempathy.com/Services/

These one-to-one empathy sessions support; well-being, healing, practicing to be a better listener and supporting you in creating empathic environments in your relationships, family, school, work, communities and beyond.


Subscribe to our Emailed Empathy Newsletter


Magazine Sections

*   Front Page: Empathy& Compassion
*   Animals
*   Art
*   Compassion

*   Compassionate Communications (NVC)

*   Curriculums
*   Education
*   Empaths

*   Empathic Family & Parenting   (this page)

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*   Self-Empathy & Self-Compassion
*   Teaching - Learning
*   Work 

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Edwin Rutsch, Editor

Our Website CultureOfEmpathy.com

Join us on Facebook Center for Building a Culture of Empathy

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How Caring for Living Things Helps Kids Build Empathy

How Caring for Living Things Helps Kids Build Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Before leaving for preschool this morning, my four-year-old checked on her jar of ladybug larvae, watered her little flower garden and shared a bagel with her little brother.  She may not know the term, but she was practicing empathy.


Empathy is a skill – one that we can cultivate and strengthen with practice. It requires us to imagine how someone else is feeling and then respond in a caring manner. Picture book author Anna Dewdney offers this wonderful definition: “Empathy is an understanding that other people have feelings, and that those feelings count.”

When kids care for living things – from babies to animals to plants – they exercise their empathy muscles. They learn through experience that

  • 1) everything has needs;
  • 2) these needs are not always identical; and
  • 3) they can help meet those needs.


By Deborah Farmer Kris

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Kids May Know More About Justice Than We Do

Kids May Know More About Justice Than We Do | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
While we may struggle with delivering and exacting justice here in the adult world, it seems that children as young as 3 have the concept down pat. In a new study published in the journal Current Biology researchers from Germany are finding that

 

toddlers are not only surprisingly empathetic, but that concepts like restorative justice may come intuitively to them.

When examining children between the ages of three and five, researchers found their subjects focused strongly on carrying out justice and punishment for those who “deserved” it. Not only did the children prefer to give missing items back to rightful owners, but if returning the item was not an option, the participants would protect the item, and ensure another party would not take what did not belong to them.

 

Even more interesting was the fact children of this age were just as willing to respond to the needs of another individual — even if that individual was a puppet — as they were to their own. Researchers believe these findings may give us insight into the core of justice in relation to human nature.

 

Kristin Magaldi

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How to Cure a Deficiency of Empathy During Conflict

How to Cure a Deficiency of Empathy During Conflict | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
As a professor of politics, I see violent extremism as a disease, and those infected with it suffer from what I call ‘empathy deficiency.’ Violent extremists in Palestine and Israel are infected with this disease; they look at their opponents and see ghosts ready to be eliminated rather than the living. The effect of this disease also impacts the general community, whose members are unaware and fail to understand the valuable effects of empathy on the reconciliation process.

When a moderate Israeli becomes aware that the Charter of Hamas, a defacto governing body of the Gaza Strip, calls for the killing of all Jews, then his feelings of empathy for the other drop dramatically.

 

by Mohammed S. Dajani

 

 

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Stanford Scientist Proves Compassion Leads to Success

Stanford Scientist Proves Compassion Leads to Success | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Stanford University has a whole center dedicated to the science of compassion and altruism. Emma Seppala, Ph.D., is the science director of this center and she has helped scientifically prove compassion is best.

She holds degrees from Yale, Columbia University, and Stanford, and in all of these Ivy league environments she saw high-achievers operating on America’s mistaken concepts of “hard work” and “success.”

“Some of the brightest minds in our country are also deeply unhappy and very, very stressed,” Seppala said.

 

By Tara MacIsaac

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Let's teach our children empathy

Let's teach our children empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
I have two preschoolers who are learning how to interact with the world around them. According to one of their teachers, one of the most important concepts that young children can learn is empathy. Empathy helps them to navigate their surroundings better, understand what it means to be in someone else's shoes and succeed in what can be a challenging world.

Empathy is a powerful concept that, at times, can be a struggle for people of all ages. Ugo Uche, Licensed Professional Counselor, writing for Psychology Today, reveals that adolescents who master this concept tend to be more purpose driven and intentionally succeed in academics not because they are looking to make good grades, but mostly because their goal is to understand the subject and use the knowledge.

 

Jason McKinney

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 Thinking and Feeling: UCSB researchers studying empathy in relationships find that in the absence of caring, understanding alone doesn’t cut it 

 Thinking and Feeling: UCSB researchers studying empathy in relationships find that in the absence of caring, understanding alone doesn’t cut it  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
UCSB researchers studying empathy in relationships find that in the absence of caring, understanding alone doesn’t cut it

 

“When people were empathically accurate — when they had an accurate understanding of their partner’s thoughts and feelings — they were more responsive only when they also felt more empathic concern, more compassion and motivation to attend to their partner’s needs,” explained lead author Lauren Winczewski, a graduate student in UCSB’s Department of Psychological & Brain Sciences.

 

“People might assume that accurate understanding is all it takes to be responsive, but understanding a partner’s thoughts and feelings was helpful only when listeners were also feeling more compassionate and sympathetic toward their partner. When listeners had accurate knowledge but did not feel compassionate, they tended to be less supportive and responsive.” 

 

 

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Study: Does empathy have a cost? Diverging psychological and physiological effects within families.

Study: Does empathy have a cost? Diverging psychological and physiological effects within families. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Objective:

Parental empathy is associated with a host of beneficial psychosocial outcomes for children. However, less is known about the effects of being empathic for parents. The current study tested the hypothesis that, although parental empathy may be beneficial to children both psychologically and physiologically, it may take a physiological toll on parents.


Method:

The current study examined psychological and physiological correlates of parental empathy in 247 parent–adolescent dyads. During a baseline laboratory visit, parents and adolescents provide blood samples from which markers of systemic inflammation, including interleukin 1-ra, interleukin 6, and C-reactive protein, were assayed. Parents completed self-report questionnaires of empathy, well-being, and self-esteem, and also reported on their child’s emotion regulation.



by Manczak, Erika M.; DeLongis, Anita; Chen, Edith


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Why practice empathy in relationships?

Why practice empathy in relationships? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Practising empathy is the key to building trust and rapport in a relationship. It helps you to reach out to others, showing you’re willing to collaborate and develop a mutual understanding.


This means people can see you have their interests at heart, and you’re not just focussed on your own selfish needs. It shows the importance of having shared goals and common ground. It indicates a sense of compromise and partnership from both people, but not to the extent of sacrificing personal freedom or independence....


How is empathy practised?

  1.  Listen and observe ...
  2. Attune to their feelings and emotions ...
  3. Using your body is vital ..
  4. Show you genuinely see things from their point of view ...
  5. Acknowledge the validity of their feelings...
  6. Be Inclusive ...
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3 A's of Empathy in Marriage

3 A's of Empathy in Marriage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Sometimes, my wife, Susan, doesn’t need or want me to do things for her or fix things for her. Sometimes she’d rather I just feel things with her. That’s what empathy is all about. Empathy deepens a marriage through a shared understanding, perspective, or experience. I realized the importance of empathy from, of all places, an NFL coach.

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The Importance of Teaching Children Empathy

The Importance of Teaching Children Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Children are born with the aptitude for empathy, but it needs to be taught and encouraged throughout their childhood. Research shows there is a clear correlation between the ability to empathize and future fulfillment and success. Making (and keeping) worthy friends, succeeding in school, attaining a gratifying career, maintaining a healthy marriage, all of these things rely on one critical skill: EMPATHY. 


So how can we teach and nurture this key ability?

Here are three simple guidelines.
1. Make your parental expectations clear.
2. Identify Feelings
3. Be a Role Model


by Chantal D. Hayes


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(Empathic Parenting) This Is How Parents Influence Early Moral Development: start by cultivating your own empathy.

(Empathic Parenting) This Is How Parents Influence Early Moral Development:  start by cultivating your own empathy. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Parents: Do you want to raise a child with a strong sense of right and wrong? You might want to start by cultivating your own morality—as well as your own empathy.


Parental dispositions also seemed to impact sharing in the toddlers. The researchers found that higher levels of parental cognitive empathy, or the ability to take someone else’s perspective, as well as higher levels of baby self-regulation—their ability to soothe themselves, for example—predicted increased sharing behavior in the sharing game. While it makes some sense that babies who can self-soothe would be better at sharing—after all, says Decety, sharing is hard for babies, so soothing themselves could mitigate the emotional upset—it’s less clear how parental empathy impacts this behavior. Again, it could be genetic, or socially-influenced, or both.


By Jill Suttie, Psy.D.

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Self-Compassion in Kids

Self-Compassion in Kids | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

It turns out psychologists may have gotten it wrong. Over the years, there has been a tremendous emphasis in our society on building kids’ self-esteem. Psychologists now think we should be teaching children how to develop self-compassion instead.

The problem is that self-esteem is often developed by social comparison, meaning it requires a person to feel special and superior to others on a variety of dimensions. Kids feel good about themselves when they get the A, win the game, receive the trophy and sometimes even by putting other kids down to make themselves feel better. But this constant comparison needing to be better than other kids instills a belief that it is not ok to be average.  When things don’t go well, feelings of superiority slip and self-esteem takes a nose dive, leaving kids vulnerable to anxiety, insecurity and depression.


By Shilagh Mirgain, PhD 

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Curly Orange's curator insight, September 21, 2015 1:07 AM

Very important advice.

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Join the Empathy Trainers Association - Now Forming

Join the Empathy Trainers Association - Now Forming | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

The Association For

  1. Empathy Trainers who have similar and common interests, activities and concerns about teaching empathy.
  2. Mutual promotion of the welfare of all it’s members.
  3. Protect and advance mutual interests.
  4. Set and maintain standards.
  5. Promote social, advertising and political action to get communities, organizations, businesses and government to support empathy training programs.
  6. etc


Benefits for Members

  • Access to training curriculum from other members.
  • Share training materials and resources.
  • A directory of empathy trainers that prospective clients can access. For Clients - If you're looking for a trainer you have a place to go 
  • Offer business support and leads to members. 
  • Discussion forums listservs.
  • etc

 

Links
Join us in forming the Empathy Trainers Association.
 

Google Group for Email Discussions 
An ongoing discussion list. 

Facebook Event
Sign up and invite friends. 

Facebook Group 
Group to for  discussions on Facebook

Shared Google Doc
For shared working space.

 

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Setting boundaries with toddlers using empathy and positive guidance

Setting boundaries with toddlers using empathy and positive guidance | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Toddlers need loving guidance and they also need empathy and forgiveness.

Children have a basic need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. As they learn how to balance curiosity, impulses and our expectations, toddlers will make mistakes and get into mischief. Sometimes they will offer a tall tale to safeguard that need to be loved and accepted, i.e. Your hair fell off mama. I caught it for you....

A very valuable tool in helping toddlers learn personal boundaries and the value of honesty is Time In. (Also sometimes referred to as meeting on the couch, reflection time, time out together, talking it out.) This tool is about intentionally setting aside time to allow for children to flex their empathy skills and reflect on their choices.

By Ariadne Brill

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 Why We Shouldn't Make Young Children Say 'Sorry': 

 Why We Shouldn't Make Young Children Say 'Sorry':  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Young children have a very underdeveloped 'theory of mind'. In essence this means that they have a hard time understanding the viewpoint of others. They struggle to understand how others are feeling, particularly if it differs from what they themselves are feeling. You might know this as 'empathy'.


Empathy is all about standing in somebody else's shoes metaphorically and understanding how they are feeling at any one moment in time. Empathy however is one of the last social skills to develop in children. While some children have distinctly better empathy skills than others, it's reasonable to expect a decent amount of empathy once the child starts school. Toddlers and preschoolers are notoriously lacking in empathy skills though.

 

Why does empathy matter when it comes to saying "sorry"? Because it implies that the child feels bad for what they have done, and in order to feel bad they have to understand how they have made another feel.

 

Sarah Ockwell-Smith

Parenting Author

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5 Surprising Reasons Compassion Is a Competitive Advantage

5 Surprising Reasons Compassion Is a Competitive Advantage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Here are five reasons to take a hard look at whether compassion is a missing ingredient in realizing your strategic competitive advantage:

  1. Compassion provides the lynchpin in high-quality service and brand loyalty...
  2. Compassion heightens employee engagement and commitment...
  3.  Compassion helps recruit talented people...
  4. Compassion fuels learning and innovation...
  5. Compassion fosters adaptability and change...

 

Monica Worline is a teacher, writer, and scholar 

Jane Dutton is the Robert L. Kahn Distinguished University Professor of Business Administration and Psychology at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan,

 

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How do children learn empathy?

How do children learn empathy? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
A child mainly learns empathy through imitating adults – yet another reason to treat others well.

 

Empathy involves being sensitive to the emotions of others, understanding those emotions and responding in an appropriate way. Studies on how empathy develops need to look at how children understand and respond to emotions rather than their ability to recognise them. This is because children who have difficulties with empathy generally have little or no difficulty in identifying emotional reactions in others, but rather in understanding the purpose or cause of it.

 

For most children empathy seems to come naturally.

 

Justin H G Williams

Senior Clinical Lecturer in Child Psychiatry, University of Aberdeen

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What Couples Who Communicate Well Do Differently

What Couples Who Communicate Well Do Differently | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Countless books and articles have been written on the importance of communicating in romantic relationships, but a recent study suggests that there's one aspect of communication that stands out above the rest: empathy.

 

The study, published last month in Psychological Science, found that feeling empathy mattered more than simply listening to what partners had to say. 

 

 

Is Empathic Accuracy Enough to Facilitate Responsive Behavior in Dyadic Interaction? Distinguishing Ability From Motivation

Lauren A. Winczewski
Jeffrey D. Bowen
Nancy L. Collins

Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences,
University of California, Santa Barbara
 
Growing evidence suggests that interpersonal responsiveness—feeling understood, validated, and cared for by other people—plays a key role in shaping the quality of one’s social interactions and relationships. But what enables people to be interpersonally responsive to others?
 
In the current study, we argued that responsiveness requires not only accurate understanding but also compassionate motivation. Specifically, we hypothesized that understanding another person’s thoughts and feelings (empathic accuracy) would foster responsive behavior only when paired with benevolent motivation (empathic concern).
 
To test this idea, we asked couples (N= 91) to discuss a personal or relationship stressor; we then assessed empathic accuracy, empathic concern, and responsive behavior. As predicted, when listeners’ empathic concern was high, empathic accuracy facilitated responsiveness; but when empathic concern was low, empathic accuracy was unhelpful (and possibly harmful) for responsiveness.
 
These findings provide the first evidence that cognitive and affective forms of empathy work together to facilitate responsive behavior.
 
 

 

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How Empathy Helps End the Great Homework Battle - Whole-Hearted Parenting

Has every parent had a million arguments about homework? A few drops of empathy dissolves the conflict and lets us look at what's driving our behaviors and our child's.
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Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you, new research says

Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you, new research says | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Kids with empathetic parents have well-documented advantages: less depression, less aggression, more empathy themselves. Parents also report better self-esteem when they make the effort to understand their children’s feelings.


But inside, it’s tearing them up.
A team from Northwestern University has examined the hidden costs of parental empathy. They found that while the children of empathetic parents are better off physically and emotionally, the parents’ cells reveal chronic, low-grade inflammation. When their children suffer psychologically, empathetic parents’ immune systems take a hit.

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Lon Woodbury's curator insight, February 26, 12:14 PM

This research just emphasizes the need for parents of struggling children vitally need to learn how to care for themselves.  Might also reflect why more adults are choosing to not have children.  What does everybody think? -Lon

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Empathy and attention come into focus for preterm kids

Empathy and attention come into focus for preterm kids | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
  • Empathy and attention skills less developed in preterm kids
  • Cartoon characters used to gauge kids understanding of social conventions
  • Research turns to working memory and response times

LOCAL research has confirmed children born extremely prematurely or ‘preterm’ have a less developed sense of empathy and poorer attention skills than typically developing children but the work has failed to determine if there is link between the two. 


It is common for preterm children to have delays in speech and language development, attention and motor skills, UWA clinical psychologist and lead author Dr Catherine Campbell says.


by  Teresa Belcher

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Teaching empathy can help reduce violence

Teaching empathy can help reduce violence | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Feigenberg suggests parents who want to give their children an education in empathy not only ask “how was your day?” but also how they helped someone, how someone helped them, if there was a time when they were unsure about the right thing to do, and then talk about the responses.

The “Making Caring Common” researchers have other suggestions on how parents can set the stage for teaching kids kindness: develop loving relationships with their children; be strong moral role models; make caring for others a priority; set high ethical expectations; let children practice caring and gratitude; and help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively.


Glenn Augustine

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Why is it so important to teach our children empathy?

Why is it so important to teach our children empathy? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of other, seems to have become one of the buzzwords of the 21st century. But with a big long list of things you already need to do as a parent, how much time or thought should any of us actually give to this while we are muddling through just trying to keep our heads above water?

For many of us, empathy may just seem like an abstract word, so I have got my head together with a lovely friend (Katya Bobova*) who also happens to be journalist who specialises in writing about child development issues, to try and break things down a little on the empathy stakes in the following in conversation….

Is empathy something that is innate, or is it learnt?

by Katya Bobova 

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Development and Epigenetics - A Conversation with Darcia Narvaez

Stefan Molyneux speaks with Darcia Narvaez about youth life outcomes, breastfeeding vs. formula, child isolation, the positive effect of multiple caregivers, the benefits of touch, epigenetics and the development of stress responses.

Darcia Narvaez is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Notre Dame, Editor of the "Journal of Moral Education," and author of Evolution, Early Experience and Human Development: From Research to Policy and Practice.
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