Provider: Mark Brady, Ph.D. Product: A downloadable version of the book Right Listening Description: A short book that evolved from teaching listening skills to aspiring clinical psychologists for more than a dozen years. The book offers 52 specific skills and awareness exercises that will help you take on skillful listening as a contemplative practice. Website
"When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked. When I ask you to listen and you start telling me why I shouldn't feel the way I do, you are invalidating my feelings. When I ask you to listen and you start trying to solve my problems, I feel underestimated and disempowered.
When I ask you to listen and you start telling me what I need to do, I feel offended, pressured and controlled. When I ask you to listen, it does not mean I am helpless. I may be faltering, depressed or discouraged, but I am not helpless. When I ask you to listen and you do things that I can and need to do for myself, you hurt my self-esteem.
But when you accept the way I feel, then I don't need to spend time and energy trying to defend myself or convince you, and I can focus on figuring out why I feel the way I feel and what to do about it. And when I do that, I don't need advice, just support, trust and encouragement. Please remember that what you think are irrational feelings always makes sense if you take the time to listen and understand me."
~ An adolescent's plea to adults, from the book, "Right Listening," by Mark Brady
When your child feels heard, understood, and validated, she’ll feel calmer and more connected to you. When she’s calm and connected, she’ll be waaaay more likely to listen to your valuable wisdom and parental guidance.
PRNewswire--- Is empathy a core component of "evidence-based medicine?" One prominent researcher and author in the area of empathy in patient care argues that the answer is unequivocally "yes" and says that it can and should be evaluated, taught and sustained, as studies show a high correlation between patient satisfaction and outcomes with empathy scores.
Mohammadreza Hojat, Ph.D., research professor of psychiatry and human behavior and director of the Jefferson Longitudinal Study at the Center for Research in Medical Education and Health Care, Sidney Kimmel Medical College at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, presented on "Empathy in the Realm of Evidence-Based Medicine," during a presentation co-hosted by the Cleveland Clinic at the American Osteopathic Association's OMED 2014, the Osteopathic Medical Conference & Exposition in Seattle.
Can empathy be taught?
Dr. Hojat says the good news is that empathy can be learned. He cited several studies where the Jefferson Scale was used, that shows enhanced empathy with a targeted education program. "Additional reinforcement could sustain or improve empathy among residents," he said.
Some examples include:
--The Rocking Chair Project: A free rocking chair was given to indigent expectant mothers by residents in family medicine; the resident had to take the chair to the mother in her home and talk about newborn care too. Going into the home, talking to the mom and assembling the chair prevented a decline of empathy by residents. For those residents who didn't participate, their empathy declined.
--Shadowing: Those residents who shadowed patients in the emergency room helped to maintain their empathy of residents vs. those whose empathy declined.
--Aging Game: Students at Midwestern University Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine and Chicago College of Pharmacy were coached to perform the role of an elderly patient. Other medical students had to sit and watch. This increased empathy for all students by watching and/or participating in the role play for 15 minutes vs. those who didn't participate.
--Narrative Skills Training: The Cleveland Clinic did a study on narrative skills training with residents that showed that while there was no significant improvement in empathy, residents did not lose empathy vs. those who weren't exposed to training.
--Movie Clips Experiment: When residents were shown video clips of patient-physician encounters selected from three movies and analyzed positive and negative aspects of each interaction, their empathy score increased.
The caveat in empathy training: when researchers followed up with the subjects from the Aging Game and Movie Clip studies months later; most had lost what they gained, and empathy was not sustained.
"There needs to be additional reinforcement for empathy to be sustained; if no reinforcement, empathy gains will be lost," Dr. Hojat said.
You might expect someone who's in the business of representing others to have a bit more empathy. In fact, you'd think empathy would be the minimum qualification to hold public office in a democracy....
Christie seems to suffer the same ailment that afflicts Alaska's Don Young. Call it Empathy Deficit Disorder. Some Democrats have it, but the disorder seems especially widespread among Republicans. These politicians have no idea what people who are hard up in America are going through....
They deserve politicians who want to fix it rather than blame it on those who have to depend on public assistance, or who need a higher minimum wage, in order to get by.
At the very least, they need leaders who empathize with what they're going through, not those with Empathy Deficit Disorder.
Who Cares? Youth Gathering Fort Mason Center, San Francisco
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
9.00 am to 12.30 pm
“Who Cares?” is a thought-provoking gathering for young people aged 14 to 19 to interact with leading thinkers, scientists and changemakers to make up their minds on the role of empathy and compassion in society.
Young people are also introduced to the importance of taking care of themselves, as the first step to taking care for others, and given practical tools to make compassion a force for positive change in their lives.
In his new book The Myth of Mirror Neurons: The Real Neuroscience of Communication and Cognition , Gregory Hickok, a professor of cognitive science, challenges current conceptions about mirror neurons.
He shows how a complex mythology arose and why it is unwarranted, how experimental results were misinterpreted and disconfirming evidence ignored, and how other interpretations might lead to better insights about how the brain works...
Hickok puts an end to this monkey business by showing that mirror neurons do not, in fact, explain language, empathy, society, and world peace.
What moves us to serve humanity, to achieve meaningful change, is genuine empathy; the capacity to feel the pain of others, to experience an intimate shared humanity, to accept discomfort and sacrifice in the path of a greater cause. In entering an authentic communion with others, we also discover a profound expression of our own dignity....
Building a world on empathy means that we must each assume personal responsibility; that we must enter into an intimate communion with those that suffer. It is not enough to assume that our leaders will solve the world’s problems on our behalf. The divisive, opportunist world of politics, is hardly an inspiration....
Without empathy, our deepest human potential will never be fully realized. We will consume more and more, and experience happiness less and less. Without sacrifice, we will remain incomplete, spiritually handicapped. ...
It was astonishing to see how they were transformed by this catharsis, by simply having a public forum where they could tell their stories, where others would listen to their plight with empathy. ...
When we surrender fear so that we can know the pain of longing, we enter into a wondrous journey of discovery, transported by the eternal dance between self and other. The ultimate source of power is the courage of empathy. ..
On Empathy is entering its 7th week of events! For this weeks conversation we have decided to do things a little bit differently. We are going to keep an element of surprise, but the plan is to meet in
Empathy has so many benefits, both for our kids and for more effective parenting. For instance:
Children get along better with other kids because they can put themselves in their shoes.
Children learn to regulate their emotions, such as during meltdowns and when they’re over excited.
Children can separate other people’s emotions from theirs. For instance, a child may get upset when he sees another child cry. But with empathy, he learns that the other child is the one who really needs help.
Below are effective ways of teaching our kids to show empathy:
Empathy—the ability to perceive and share another person's emotional state—is the subject of this month’s Cerebrum article, “With A Little Help from My Friends: How the Brain Procand the latest on this aspect of social neuroscience is Peggy Mason, Ph.D., a professor of neurobiology at the University of Chicago and the author of Medical Neurobiology.
Mason, whose lab is currently interested in empathetic healing and helping behavior in rats, offers an open online course, “Understanding the Brain: The Neurobiology of Everyday Life,” through Coursera and held a lively discussion of empathy on Reddit recently.
The Los Altos-based David and Lucile Packard Foundation and Ashoka Changemakers Oct. 23 named the six winners of the online grant competition they co-sponored, Building Vibrant Communities: Activating Empathy to Create Change.
The organizations announced the winners at the Packard Foundation’s 50th Anniversary Open House, during which winners and finalists shared their ideas with several hundred attendees.
“So much exciting work to foster empathy is happening in our five-county region and neighboring communities,” said Carol Larson, president and CEO of the Packard Foundation. “We are particularly encouraged by the six winning organizations that are actively cultivating empathy skills.
As teachers, we strive to push each of our students to his/her full potential. We have the responsibility to educate each student academically, emotionally, and socially. In my classroom, the single most important thing I can teach my students is empathy.
If my students are able to understand the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others, they will be able to interact in a selfless manner. This will also help them to avoid physical and unpleasant conflict. ...
1. Use Reading Standards that focus on character to teach empathy. ..
2. Allow your students to share their personal stories from the beginning of the school year....
3. When there is a conflict, have a plan for solution driven conversations...
4. As a class, take the time to focus on one feeling at a time...
5. Accept each student for who he or she is, as an individual. ..
Many business people have already discovered the power of storytelling in a practical sense – they have observed how compelling a well-constructed narrative can be. But recent scientific work is putting a much finer point on just how stories change our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.
As social creatures, we depend on others for our survival and happiness. A decade ago, my lab discovered that a neurochemical called oxytocin is a key “it’s safe to approach others” signal in the brain. Oxytocin is produced when we are trusted or shown a kindness, and it motivates cooperation with others. It does this by enhancing the sense of empathy, our ability to experience others’ emotions.
Empathy is important for social creatures because it allows us to understand how others are likely to react to a situation, including those with whom we work.
There are many pages on the web talking about empathic parenting, and whether my definition of the term matches up with theirs is beyond my scope of giving a crap. When I personally use this expression, it is a ‘what it says on the tin’ job. Parenting with empathy; that is all. I believe that can manifest itself in many different forms. No two empathic parents will necessarily look or behave the same.
As I move forward into my next parenting chapter I find myself reflecting on my fear of tears and wondering what other empathic parents’ experiences are with this. How do you balance your own emotional needs as a parent with those of your child?
How do you come to terms with your child’s cries when you can feel how much pain they are in at that moment in time? Or how do you avoid it and cope? How does empathic parenting work in your household, in your family?
A Q&A with Dr. Helen Riess of Harvard Medical School about her efforts to spread empathy among health care workers.
Communication in the doctor’s office is a hot topic right now. As a review by Health Affairs notes, “the quality of physician-patient interactions in primary care has been declining.”
On the positive side, effective communication is a powerful—albeit underutilized—instrument in healthcare’s toolbox. It’s associated with higher patient satisfaction, better adherence to medications, lower likelihood of mistakes, and fewer malpractice cases. It even affects patient health outcomes; a review of research concluded that effective physician-patient communication improves patients’ emotional health, symptoms, physiologic responses, and pain levels.
In particular, empathy is a critical component of communication that has attracted increasing attention in recent years. Empathy in a clinical context is the physician’s ability to understand patients’ emotions, which can facilitate more accurate diagnoses and more caring treatment.
This differs from sympathy, or sharing patients’ emotions, which instead can hinder objective diagnoses and effective treatment.
The Dalai Lama’s speech on the importance of exercising kindness and compassion moved crowds of passionate students, faculty and Vancouverites.
During his time in Vancouver, His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama spoke to students at John Oliver Secondary School and participated in a Heart-Mind Summit at the Vancouver Convention Centre on October 21.
He also led a panel discussion on the need to cultivate empathy and compassionate behaviour in young children to an audience of UBC students on October 22.
Photography is powerful because we can place ourselves into the perspective of those we see in an image. Whether it’s street photography, photojournalism or portraiture, we use photography to understand ourselves in relation to people around us....
Imitation is automatic and a basic requirement for developing practical social skills, like empathy. When we see the expression of other peoples faces there is an unconscious activation of the same muscles.
For example, when someone is sad and frowns you too will active frown muscles and feel similarly to the person you’re looking at, granted to a lesser extent. If you were to prevent the activation of the frown muscles then your ability to perceive sadness would diminish.
Payam Akhavan is Professor of International Law at McGill University in Montreal, Canada, and Visiting Fellow at Oxford University, UK. He was previously a UN prosecutor at The Hague and also appeared in leading cases before the International Court of Justice and International Criminal Court.
He is founder of the Iran Human Rights Documentation Centre and is a noted figure in the human rights world. His work has been featured by The New York Times and BBC and he was selected in 2005 as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum.
Compassion Week is a joint initiative of the Tenzin Gyatso Institute, Stanford University’s CCARE, The Charter for Compassion, and Dignity Health, and it coming to San Francisco in a few weeks time.
It will include 5 days of events featuring conferences on The Science of Compassion and Compassion and Healthcare, and will a feature an all day event highlighting The Charter for Compassion.
Compassion Week brings together doctors, civic leaders, scholars, mindfulness practitioners, and society at large to address how holistically and economically practical an investment practicing compassion can be in all institutions and areas of living.
A baby’s preference to stare at an object, instead of a person's face, may predict a lack of guilt and empathy as well as difficulties understanding emotions during toddlerhood.
It is known that the deepest, most primitive parts of our minds process faces. It is also known that typically developing babies become sensitive to another person’s face and eyes almost immediately after birth.
In a new study, scientists find a baby’s preference to stare at an object, instead of a person's face, may predict a lack of guilt and empathy as well as difficulties understanding emotions during toddlerhood.
While a mother's warmth and attention might positively influence her child's later behavior, this may be true only of girl babies and not boys.
That which is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the Torah. The rest is commentary. Rabbi Hillel
The Golden Rule has been around a while. Some think it was first taught by Confucius. Yet, according to religious scholar and worldwide compassion ambassador Karen Armstrong, this core idea, that you must not do to others what you would not want done to you, is at the heart of all religions. And she thinks this unifying thread is the secret to saving our world, if only we'd remember to follow it. Of course, we want to raise compassionate kids, and there are tips and resources below. But we also must consider how we, the adults, are doing.
Are we compassionate only to our children, house plants and those who pay us well or smile back at us at the customer service counter?
Is compassion bigger than this?
Are we compassionate with our investments?
Is compassion something people must earn from us?
It's easy to get teary-eyed over pictures of starving children, but what about angry inmates?
What will it take for compassion to change the world?