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Does Self-Compassion Mean Letting Yourself Off the Hook?

Does Self-Compassion Mean Letting Yourself Off the Hook? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Self-compassion means that we understand the myriad causes and conditions that lead us to act as we do. Compassion is wise and sees through the illusion that we have total control over our actions. Compassion acknowledges the truth that we are limited, imperfect beings who are impacted by things over which we have no control -- our genes, early family history, culture, life circumstances.

 

That's why self-compassion is understanding and accepting rather than punitive and rebuking. At the same time, compassion is intrinsically concerned with the alleviation of suffering -- our own and that of others.

 

 

by Kristin Neff

http://j.mp/N71bqZ

 

Expert Page http://bit.ly/m2rCN2

 

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Empathy and Compassion
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To Newspaper Front Page: All Sections

To Newspaper Front Page: All Sections | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page


Visit the individual magazines specifically for empathy and;

*   Main Page All
*   Animals
*   Art
*   Compassion

*   Compassionate Communications (NVC)

*   Curriculums
*   Education
*   Empaths

*   Empathy Quotes

*   Empathic Design - Empathy in Human-Centered Design (New!)
*   Health Care

*   Justice

*   Self-Empathy & Self-Compassion
*   Teaching - Learning
*   Work 

*   etc.


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Please Click 'Follow' to receive updates.
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Thanks so much.

Edwin Rutsch, Editor

Our Website CultureOfEmpathy.com

Join us on Facebook Center for Building a Culture of Empathy

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Empathy – a new skill for the 21st century world of work?

Empathy – a new skill for the 21st century world of work? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
  • In Business or the world of work?
  • What is Empathy?
  • Empathy and Conflict
  • Two way
  • Empathy and Leadership
  • Conclusion


One of the hallmarks of a successful business is its ability to harness creativity, to challenge the status quo, to push boundaries and to innovate. Without growth and innovation, businesses stagnate and eventually fade away. Those with staying power are likely to have mastered this important skill which allows them to focus on the future with clarity: empathy.

Empathy helps us to get along, to understand each other, to work together and to resolve problems. In the world of work, we cannot get along without it.


image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manual_labour 
 LaborCharles Sprague Pearce (1896). 

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Let’s have empathy for drug users

Let’s have empathy for drug users | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

We are a deeply punitive society. One misstep, one act of poor judgment, one stroke of bad luck or fate, and you could be marked for life, a pariah, someone with whom the rest of us "good people" want nothing to do.



Drug users are a prime example of this sad philosophy. 

Instead of finding new ways to dump on and brush aside society's ills and those afflicted by them, we should be looking for ways to improve everyone's lot.


This isn't a leg-up so much as it's a just-having-legs-in-the-first-place sort of proposal. It's funding for comprehensive treatment and training programs, yes. But it's also funding for public education, so people can learn and feel empowered to take control of their own lives, thereby finding ways to be productive members of society (that's a long-term investment we should all be able to get behind). It's funding social safety nets, so that when things go wrong that are outside of our control, we don't fall through the cracks and become a burden to ourselves and others. It's realizing that we all do better when we all do better.

Emily Mills
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How Giving your Undivided Attention Reduces Stress

How Giving your Undivided Attention Reduces Stress | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Giving much-needed, nonjudgmental advice can be transforming—but one of the simplest and most powerful things you can do for another person is simply to listen.

When you do, you:

  1. Express to that the other person, be it an adult or a child, that he or she is worthy of your attention and respect.
  2. Gain more insight into this person and your relationship.
  3. Improve the quality of your relationships, which in turn provide you with much-need support when you’re stressed or down.
  4. Transform an ordinary conversation to one that fosters growth and higher self-esteem.

 by Jan Bruce
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Poverty and empathy: Hard problems

Poverty and empathy: Hard problems | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

NICHOLAS KRISTOF last weekend wrote a touching remembrance of a recently deceased school friend, Kevin Green, a kind, hard-working man whose economic struggles took a toll on his health. "The doctors say he died at age 54 of multiple organ failure," Mr Kristof writes, "but in a deeper sense he died of inequality and a lack of good jobs",


Let's talk about empathy now. Designing a safety net is hard, and empathy does not much help in telling us how to do it....


We ought to feel for those stuck in this sort of terrible quandary. Yet empathy can't change the fact that when people need jobs, they have to go to where the jobs are. Nor can empathy keep the overstretched disability system from falling apart. What we need are sustainable policies that provide the relief people need when they cannot work, but which do not create too much disincentive to re-enter the labour market when they can.


This is, in my opinion, the hardest problem of public policy. Empathy can do nothing for us but to underscore the urgency of solving it.  




BY W.W.  CHATTANOOGA

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Where Do You Draw the Line Between Empathy and Helicopter Parenting?

Where Do You Draw the Line Between Empathy and Helicopter Parenting? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

by Lisa Fuller

As the mother of a middle school girl, I struggle to be empathetic without jumping on the roller coaster of her ever-changing moods, emotions and dramas. And, as a woman in her late 40s, my emotions are often a 6 Flags of hormonally-induced thrills, so staying detached feels nearly impossible at times..

From Helicopter Parenting to Empathy

  • Validate her feelings. In your story Michelle, you give nice examples of how you did this — letting her cry and stay in her feelings, etc.
  • Resist the urge to fix..
  • Share your own story of disappointment...
  • Be present...
  • Practice mindfulness. ...
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Dialogue and Empathy: Necessary Skills in Civic Engagement

Dialogue and Empathy: Necessary Skills in Civic Engagement | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Being part of initiatives that make reflection, discourse, and discussion central has been transformative and taught me a vital skillset.  This experience taught me how to talk to people about difficult subjects and it developed my sense of empathy.


These discourse and empathetic learnings I hold parallel to the events of fall 2014 throughout the United States.  I will name specifically Ferguson, Missouri, but the incidents expanded beyond this single locale.  Furthermore, these incidents are nothing new in this country but, due to a variety of factors, they captured national attention.  Responses on college campuses ranged from nonexistent to significant protest.  The former is a shame.  The latter can be an effective mechanism to bring upon social change.  However, there is a third option that all college campuses should seek to cultivate.


In conclusion, learning reflection skills and dialogue, while developing a sense of empathy, are crucial factors in any civic engagement initiative.   Without these, we are just putting students to work.
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Carl Rogers on Empathy and Presence

Presentations at CarlRogers.info: New World / New Person Pt. 1 2/22/81
Full audio at: http://carlrogers.info/audio.html
More on Rogers and Empathy at: http://j.mp/V88gdn

Starts talking about empathy and empathic listening at 40:30, discusses presence from 42:00 to end.
Transcript:
"You've heard much in this conference about the skill of empathic listening. I simply want to underscore what has been said because I believe that it plays a large part in our future. I come to believe that a very sensitive listening is one of the most powerful forces for growth that I know.

When I can let myself enter softly and delicately, the vulnerable inner world of the other person.
When I can temporarily lay aside my views and values and prejudices.
When I can let myself be at home in the fright, the concern, the pain, the anger, the tenderness, the confusion, which fills his or her life.
When I can move about in that inner world without making judgments,.
When I can see that world with fresh unfrightened eyes.
When I can check the accuracy of my sensing's with him or her being guided by the responses I receive.

Then I can be a companion to that inner person, pointing to the felt meanings of what is being experienced. Then I find myself to be a true helper, a welcome companion, and aid to growth and help.


Listening seems such a easy word, I find it a lifetime task to achieve true listening and a task well worth the effort.

There is another very subtle factor in the healing relationship which I have experienced and that I would call presence. It is certainly known to physicians. ..... I to have experienced this. When I am at my best as a group facilitator, or a therapist, I discover this characteristic. I find that when I am closest to my inner intuitive self, when I am somehow in touch with the unknown in me, when perhaps I am in a slightly altered state of consciousness, then what ever I do seems to be full of healing. Then simply my presence is releasing and helpful....

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How Psychopath Ideology Can Be Crushed By Empathy

How Psychopath Ideology Can Be Crushed By Empathy | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
Art has the power to be more transforming than any harsh law or order. It is the only moral way of using deception, because it creates genuine emotions. Deception Can be used in art to transform a psychopath into an empath.

A psychopath never treats another person as an equal and it is through relationships that involve having power over the other person that a psychopath develops a strong sense of invulnerability. An empath can overturn this by demonstrating that malleability is a far greater asset to possess than a solid sense of invulnerability.

Empathy allows your thoughts to take a different form so they can easily adapt to fit another shape. This will take you on a far greater personal adventure than the solid sticking points of psychopathology, which act as a barrier to freedom.
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My son seems to lack empathy. Is that okay?

My son seems to lack empathy. Is that okay? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
Question: My first-grader doesn’t seem empathetic at all. Last night at dinner, he happily mentioned how when he was introducing himself in a group, his thing that others didn’t know about him was that he hated his older brother.


His poor brother looked stricken and almost burst into tears. If you had asked me before, I would have said they had a very close, friendly relationship. Talking about it later, it was clear he had put zero thought into whether it would hurt his brother’s feelings. He’s good at identifying his own emotions but doesn’t seem to notice anyone else’s at all.


Answer: Empathy is such an important part of development, and you’re far from the first to ask why your child doesn’t show empathy. 


So, let’s start with the easy question: What is empathy?



image

Die Söhne des Künstlers Christian Leberecht Vogel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy#mediaviewer/File:C_L_Vogel_Die_S%C3%B6hne_des_K%C3%BCnstlers.jpg


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NY Times Op-Ed: Where’s the Empathy? by Nicholas Kristof

NY Times Op-Ed: Where’s the Empathy? by Nicholas Kristof | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

That acerbic condescension reflects one of this country’s fundamental problems: an empathy gap. It reflects the delusion on the part of many affluent Americans that those like Kevin are lazy or living cushy lives.


A poll released this month by the Pew Research Center found that wealthy Americans mostly agree that “poor people today have it easy because they can get government benefits without doing anything in return.”

Lazy? Easy? Kevin used to set out with his bicycle and a little trailer to collect cans by the roadside. He would make about $20 a day...


Those who would judge you don’t have a clue. They could use a dose of your own empathy.


 by Nicholas Kristof

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The Intriguing New Science That Could Change Your Mind About Rats | WIRED

The Intriguing New Science That Could Change Your Mind About Rats | WIRED | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

As Oxford University zoologist Alex Kacelnik and colleagues noted in a 2012 Biology Lettersreflection on empathy research, some ants display helping behaviors similar to Mason and Ben-Ami Bartal’s rats. “Any solid evidence for empathy in non-humans would be a notable advance,” they wrote, “but, in our view, it remains unproven outside humans.”


Other researchers defended the possibility of rat empathy.


“Ants are not rats,”quipped Frans de Waal, an Emory University ethologist who has written extensively about empathy, on Facebook. “It would be totally surprising, from a Darwinian perspective, if humans had empathy and other mammals totally lacked it.” As for Mason and Ben-Ami Bartal, they’ve downplayed the empathy interpretation in their latest work, restricting it to speculative discussion.

we think of this oft-reviled creature, and maybe even ourselves.


BY BRANDON KEIM  

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BLOG: Empathy. What's the big idea?

BLOG: Empathy. What's the big idea? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
Empathy. We all know what it is. Empathy is an essential part of being human, of connecting with and understanding other humans. Empathy is a word that most of us instantly ‘get’. Or so we believe. I’ve spent the best part of the last three years seeking to deepen my knowledge of empathy.


Recently, I returned from twelve months of exploration in India, seeking new perspectives on age-old questions.

What exactly is empathy?

How does it work?

Who is actively applying it?

What are the implications?

Leading me to consider the future and the role empathy could play.


by Nathan Wiltshire


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Restorative justice helping crime victims in Limerick

Restorative justice helping crime victims in Limerick | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

The report, launched by Le Chéile’s Restorative Justice Project in Limerick this week, identified that following the programme young people displayed a significant increase in their levels of empathy towards victims after engaging with the project, as well as reporting better family relationships and less contact with the Gardaí and court system. Parents also reported positive outcomes for family life and improved relationships.


===========================

The project works with young people through the Probation Service, using a range of restorative justice models including face-to-face meetings, and victim empathy programmes.

==========


by Anne Sheridan

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The empathetic leader - Manila Standard Today

The empathetic leader - Manila Standard Today | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
The concept of empathy in leadership leaders contradicts the more common notion of the alpha-male leader.

According to Douglas LaBier, Ph.D in his article “Why humble, empathic business leaders are more successful” that appeared in The Huffington Post, the time of “the dominant, typically male leader who knows everything, who gives direction to everybody and sets the pace whom everybody follows because this person is so smart and intelligent and clever” is over.

“We need a new kind of leader who focuses much more on relationships and understands that leadership is not about himself, who knows he needs to listen to other people, to be intellectually curious and emotionally open...he needs empathy to do the job,” LaBier continues.


 ======================

Empathy may also be mistaken for “softness”
— a
lack of firmness and authority.

==============

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Growing Empathy: A Daily 30-Minute Gift That Can Rescue Your Relationship

Growing Empathy: A Daily 30-Minute Gift That Can Rescue Your Relationship | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

The amazing work of neuroscientists such as Marco Iacoboni reveals human beings are neurologically “wired for empathy” and — an innate moral nature. The same brain circuits are mobilized whether feeling one’s own pain and others’, and merely observing someone performing a certain action activates the same areas of the brain in the observer.


The special neurons that make this possible are known as “mirror neurons” are linked with the experience of empathy, compassion and learning.


Not surprisingly, the ability to remain empathically connected, especially in challenging moments when you are triggered, is a key attribute of partners in strong, healthy marriages.


By ATHENA STAIK, PH.D. 

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3 Ways To Boost Your Empathy

3 Ways To Boost Your Empathy | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

When you experience stress, your body focuses its resources to deal with the perceived threat at hand. Among other things, your muscles tense up. Your breathing speeds up. Your heart contracts harder and faster.

And, it turns out, your emotional heart freaks out, too. The Wall Street Journal recently reported that researchers have found that a boost in stress hormones makes your empathy take a dive.


You literally have less ability to empathize with someone else's pain, especially if that person's a stranger to you.


Here are three ways to boost your empathy, connection, and resilience -- and lower the impact of negative stress.


  1. Try the Five-Minute Favor
  2. Offer your help 
  3. Become a loving listener


By Jan Bruce

image:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stress_(biology) 

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Study: Empathy and humanity. Fuchsman K.

Study: Empathy and humanity. Fuchsman K. | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
This has been called the Age of Empathy; empathy is seen as the glue that holds society together, the capacity without which humans would not have evolved. It is the ability to accurately perceive others internal states and to have affective responses to them. Empathy is most likely to emerge with those with whom we are familiar, those that are an 'us'. Universally, humans divide 'us' and 'them.'


Those in the out-group are treated with disdain, and sometimes with lethal actions. In human history and psychology, trends often move in opposite directions.


Empathy has a limited domain, and is accompanied by hostility to 'outsiders'.

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The Heart of Empathy:

The Heart of Empathy

~ Jeannette Tamagini Ed.D. (author) More about this product
List Price: $19.95
Price: $17.96
You Save: $1.99 (10%)

by Robert R Carkhuff, Bernard G Berenson , Jeannette Tamagini


What does it take to be a helper in the 21st century? The distinguished authors of this powerful book combine a lifetime of research, development and practice in human behavior and development to define the answer.


The result is a single, thought-provoking volume that should be required reading for every individual.

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THE EMPATHY CYCLE

THE EMPATHY CYCLE | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Violence and disparities in health and education can chip away at empathy, or jeopardize it all together.


One of the biggest and most heart wrenching recent examples of the importance of empathy, particularly as it relates to violence in America, can be found in the Mike Brown and Eric Garner cases. Perhaps if there was more empathy for and within these communities in general, resulting in more action and policy change across the board, these events never would have occurred. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but a compelling thought nonetheless.

While empathy is difficult to measure, organizations like Ashoka are working to study the long-term effects of encouraging empathy and trauma-informed care.

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Reading Literary Fiction Impacts Theory of Mind. Emanuele Castano

Reading Literary Fiction Impacts Theory of Mind.  Emanuele Castano | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Reading Literary Fiction Impacts Theory of Mind. Article Published in the journal Science, and Media Coverage

I recently co-authored with my graduate student David Kidd a scientific article in which we investigated the effects that reading literary fiction has on our capacity to infer and represent other people’s mental states – a capacity that is called Theory of Mind in psychological literature. The article reported results from five experiments and was published in Science.

The article has received extensive media coverage worldwide. Among others radios, TVs 


(see TV interview here) and newspapers, this work is discussed in several NPR programs (All Things Considered, The Diane Rehm Show, and NPR Books) and international radio (FRANCEinter).


Emanuele Castano, 
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Video: Police techniques used to establish empathy

Video: Police techniques used to establish empathy | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

Investigators give insight into techniques used to establish empathy with suspects and how they work to get the confession needed to close the case.

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Veritas Forum held on empathy

Veritas Forum held on empathy | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it
USC hosted the Veritas Forum discussion yesterday night in Town and Gown. This year’s forum, “Neighbors: A Campus Conversation on Race, Empathy and Faith,” featured guest speakers, Dr. Jody Armour of the Gould Law School and visiting speaker William Tate, dean of the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis.


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NY Times: How Do We Increase Empathy?

NY Times: How Do We Increase Empathy? | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it


In my last column, I wrote about a high school buddy, Kevin Green, a warm and helpful man who floundered in a tough job market, hurt his back and died at the age of 54. The column was a call for empathy for those who are struggling, but, predictably, scolds complained that Kevin’s problems were of his own making. Grrrr.


So what do we know about empathy and how to nurture it?


First, it seems hard-wired. Even laboratory rats will sometimes free a trapped companion before munching on a food treat.


“Probably the biggest empathy generator is cuteness: paedomorphic features such as large eyes, a large head, and a small lower face,” Steven Pinker, the Harvard psychologist, tells me.


“Professional empathy entrepreneurs have long known this, of course, which is why so many charities feature photos of children and why so many conservation organizations feature pandas.


Nicholas Kristof


How to increase empathy?

  • cuteness
  • wealth may impedes empathy
  • think about suffering 
  • seeing empathic acts 
  • reading and seeing fiction
  • student service projects,
  •  travel


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Validation: Beyond Empathy

Validation: Beyond Empathy | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

I have a tendency to talk incessantly aboutempathy.  And if you're my devoted readers, you know that empathy means conveying that you really understand another person's point of view, completely.  You don't have to share the same perspective, but you 100 percent genuinely understand what they mean.  So here's empathy:

 

Samantha Rodman PhD

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Empathy: A motivated account by Jamil Zaki

Empathy: A motivated account by Jamil Zaki | Empathy and Compassion | Scoop.it

We often think of empathy as an automatic process. However, empathy is often context-dependent. Our willingness to empathize with others changes with different situations and with different people.A new paper by Jamil Zaki resolves this tension by underscoring the role of motivation in empathy.


Motives drive our willingness to empathize. In his paper, Zaki highlights specific motives that drive people to avoid and approach empathy, illustrates a motivated model of empathy, and suggests potential interventions to maximize empathy.For a complete list of SSNL publications, click here


http://ssnl.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/pdf/zaki2014_motivatedEmpathy.pdf?width=85%25&height=85%25&iframe=true



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