Contemplative Dialogue
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Great Leadership Requires Asking Questions

Great Leadership Requires Asking Questions | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it

Great leaders are those who instead ask the right questions and engage others to arrive at the best answers together.


Via donhornsby
Annette Schmeling's insight:

Effective questions are those that accomplish their purpose as well as build a positive relationships. Questions that work should build a deeper and better understanding of the problem and possible solutions, but should also construct better working relations among the problem solvers.  Edgar Schein in his book Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling promotes the kind of inquiry that comes from an attitude of interest and curiosity. Inviting others to tell their story in their own words helps to establish rapport, gather information and increase understanding.

 

Humble Inquiry changes the quality of listening from confirming habitual judgments and the focus on the factual/objective data to more empathic and generative listening (Otto Scharmer) and greater humility. My whole being is able to slow down and to be present when I can suspend my judgment and enter into the question at a deeper level. 

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donhornsby's curator insight, March 20, 2014 10:10 AM

(From the article) “When a leader asks the questions,” says Wiseman, “they channel the energy and intelligence of their team on the challenge at hand, and they shift the burden of thinking onto others.”

 

Instead of looking to answer the big and important questions on his or her own, the multiplier asks provocative questions of the group and encourages them to work on it together. This engages employees like nothing else and no longer has them sitting on the sidelines awaiting the answer from their leader.

 

Ivon Prefontaine's curator insight, March 20, 2014 12:59 PM

A key is when asking questions is to listen deeply. I read Parker Palmer and use his work in my writing. The key person to question and listen to is one's self. This requires quietness that we do not find in the hectic pace of daily life. It is a meditative space when we listen to our self and to others.

ozziegontang's curator insight, May 5, 2014 5:00 AM

Lee would simply share: The role of the leader is to be a virtuoso question-asker.  Questions open. Answers close. 


Thanks to Annette Schmeling for sharing from Serving and Leadership.

Contemplative Dialogue
Engaging Collective Awareness
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Editorial: SLU president acting in the honorable tradition of universities : News

Editorial: SLU president acting in the honorable tradition of universities : News | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
Maybe the next statue that is erected at St. Louis University should be of Fred Pestello. He deserves it.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

At its best, Ignatian leadership is able to hold multiple perspectives in parity, all in service of collective inquiry and ultimately social justice. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch Editorial describes the leadership of Dr. Fred Pestello, President of St. Louis University, through the first eight months of taking office. The practice of suspending judgements, assumptions and certainties enables greater perspective and inherently widens the scope of dialogue. As pointed out by the @STLtoday editorial board, this is the honorable tradition of universities. 

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The Day After: Obama on His Legacy, Trump's Win and the Path Forward

The Day After: Obama on His Legacy, Trump's Win and the Path Forward | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
The commander in chief reflects on the election results and how he'll spend his time post-White House.
Annette Schmeling's insight:
Dialogue is rooted in an attitude of respect and the conviction that we seek the perspectives of other cultures, other ways of thinking, other beliefs. Obama, in his final Rolling Stone interview in the White House, highlights the cultural and communication challenges of today. The need to intensify Dialogue has never been greater. 

"One of the challenges that we’ve been talking about now is the way social media and the Internet have changed what people receive as news." 

"The biggest challenge that I think we have right now in terms of this divide is that the country receives information from completely different sources."

"People are no longer talking to each other; they're just occupying their different spheres,"
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Read Buber, Not the Polls!

Read Buber, Not the Polls! | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
The writings of the Jewish sage Martin Buber offer a distraction from election anxiety.
Annette Schmeling's insight:
The conservative commentator, David Brooks reminds us of the importance of relationships in the midst of this contentious USA Presidential campaign. Brooks urges us to read Martin Buber and not the polls for direction. For Martin Buber the highest perfection of relationships is found in inclusion and Dialogue. Unless we can let go of reflexive tendencies and submit to the presence of mutuality, we are going to continue to be trapped in the I-It relationships and view others as dispensable objects for personal consumption and power. 
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Safe Spaces or Echo Chambers? Understanding the Discourse Surrounding Georgetown’s Political Climate

Safe Spaces or Echo Chambers? Understanding the Discourse Surrounding Georgetown’s Political Climate | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
An investigation into trigger warnings, safe spaces, and how students conduct their discourse surrounding Georgetown's political climate.
Annette Schmeling's insight:
Safe Spaces are echo chambers that demand political correctness, protection from discussions and ideas that offend the identities a person associates with. You are safe as long as you agree. Dialogue creates a ‘Brave Space’ to explore difficult, challenging and diverse beliefs while making sure that nobody feels diminished. ‘Brave Spaces’ are harder but promote growth and strengthens community.
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Zygmunt Bauman: “Social media are a trap”

Zygmunt Bauman: “Social media are a trap” | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
An inspiration for Spain’s May 15 movement, the sociologist is skeptical about chances for change
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The Long Life of Trauma in the Time of Twitter

The Long Life of Trauma in the Time of Twitter | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
In times of trauma, modern-day technology connects us instantly. But could it be that genetic memory metabolizes much more slowly? Courtney Martin juxtaposes modern day urgency with a long view of legacy.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

The extent to which individuals are defined by their experiences and memories is at the heart of the PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) research. We are learning more and more about the long-term impact of trauma and stress on our neural functioning and internal mind-scape. We are sensitized by past events. Courtney Martin raises the very interesting concept of the influence of our genetic history - the inherited memories, feelings and ideas that we gained from our ancestors. 


Our shared history of a nation built on slavery is unresolved trauma that results in persistent chaos and rigidity. Each of us has been shaped by this history, it is a part of our DNA. In the individual, chaos and rigidity exposes a brain with impaired integration. In our nation we collectively suffer from impaired integration. When we feel threatened or disordered we cannot feel connected, open, harmonious, engaged, receptive, empathic or compassionate. 


There is no possibility of Dialogue without doing the deeper work. Martin invites us to a contemplative and mindful exploration of our inner experience, our own implicit memory, and our "collective unconscious."  When we can acknowledge the layers of memory to the interpretation of the violent upheaval we are experiencing in our nation, then we can come to see our inner experience from a new and liberating perspective. 


 

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The Gift of Good Questions

The Gift of Good Questions | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
How we ask each other questions can evoke a deeper sense of self. Words of advice from Parker Palmer and a poem by Denise Levertov on the power of asking with good intention, and hearing each other into being.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

A beautiful question, generated from loving curiosity, can begin a shift in the way that we perceive or think about something. When we suspend our judgments and familiar ways of knowing and free us from entrenched thinking. Contemplative Dialogue invites connections and questions and enables shared meaning and the possibility of a new worldview. "Yes, perhaps this gift is your answer." 

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▶ ANTI-RACIST SHORT FILM "JAFAR" (by Nancy Spetsioti) - YouTube

▶ ANTI-RACIST SHORT FILM "JAFAR" (by Nancy Spetsioti) - YouTube | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
CAST NATALIA DRAGOUMI - VLADIMIROS KIRIAKIDIS - NIKOS PSARRAS CHARA TSIONGA - WASEEM AKTAR - GEORGIA KATSIKONOURI PRODUCER: DIMITRIS GALANOPOULOS DIRECTOR: N...
Annette Schmeling's insight:

We are connected through the beliefs we hold about the world and each other. We are conditioned to seek people with similar belief systems. Our beliefs provide a sense of who we are and where we belong. Filmmaker Nancy Spetsioti demonstrates how letting go of an old belief system (excessive focus on self) and replacing them with new beliefs (our need or sense of responsibility for one another) may give way to extraordinary possibilities for the future. 

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Between Heaven and Earth, an Airline Ticket Gone Awry

Between Heaven and Earth, an Airline Ticket Gone Awry | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
The Haggler intercedes for a monastery in New Mexico over a ticketing dispute with United Airlines.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

"Whoa! Brother Noah, dial back the rage there, fella!"

 

David Segal provides a good example of being mindful in a conflict situation. Brother Noah demonstrated purposeful attention, attention in the present moment & non-judgmental awareness. Faithful to the Spirit of St. Benedict, Brother Noah invited United Airlines to  double-loop learning and explored the discrepancies between their espoused theories in action and their theories-in-use, i.e., the policies that govern their practice in action. 

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Time for another paradigm shift in policing | The Christian Century

Time for another paradigm shift in policing | The Christian Century | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
In the 19th century, the U.S. adopted a "social peacekeeper" model of policing. Then the Civil War left behind a surplus of firearms.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

Tobias Winright provides a unique perspective on the situation in Ferguson, MO. As a former corrections and reserve police officer and now a theological ethicist, Winright (St. Louis University, Associate Professor of Christian Ethics) presents two polarities: a military model of policing and a social-peacekeeper model. Like all polarities, both perspectives reflect different points of view. Each view is correct,  and each point of view is made up of a value and fear combination. The stronger the emotional attachment to a position, or a value, the greater the fear is of its loss. 

 

Winright encourages us to explore policing in the United States today. He is courageous and his questions are not asked lightly in the heat of the situation in Ferguson. Winright shakes things up and invites us to explore the polarities and to break free of familiar thought patterns and easy assumptions. The time has come to begin a true dialogue; to explore our priorities, purpose and goals. 

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Using Dialogue Circles to Support Classroom Management

Using Dialogue Circles to Support Classroom Management | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
At Glenview Elementary School, dialogue circles are part of a program aimed at building collaboration, respect, and positive behavior among students.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

Studies have found that Restorative Dialogue Circles have a powerful effect on children as both a form of discipline and as an opportunity for growth. Give students tools for creating and maintaining community and provide a different model for dealing with conflict in peaceful and creative ways.  Congratulations Glenview Elementary School1

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Ivon Prefontaine's curator insight, August 1, 2014 5:56 PM

Dialogue circles which genuinely engage students and open up communication are incredible. The key is setting respectful parameters in which people can authentically communicate and be safe in doing so. This is about being and becoming people and not doing learning.

 

@ivon_ehd1

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Legendary Physicist David Bohm on the Paradox of Communication, the Crucial Difference Between Discussion and Dialogue, and What Is Keeping Us from Listening to One Another

Legendary Physicist David Bohm on the Paradox of Communication, the Crucial Difference Between Discussion and Dialogue, and What Is Keeping Us from Listening to One Another | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
"If we are to live in harmony with ourselves and with nature, we need to be able to communicate freely in a creative movement in which no one permanently holds
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This former CIA officer's secret life... - Films For Action | Facebook

This former CIA officer's secret life... - Films For Action | Facebook | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
This former CIA officer's secret life taught her one lesson: Listen to your enemy. - AJ+
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Obama says the US is divided because 'people are no longer talking to each other'

Obama says the US is divided because 'people are no longer talking to each other' | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
The president said he is concerned that Americans are turning to news that only confirms their existing beliefs.
Annette Schmeling's insight:
"People are no longer talking to each other; they're just occupying different spheres..." 
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Otto Scharmer on the four levels of listening 

Listening is the most underrated of leadership skills, leading to a disconnect between leaders and the situation. Otto describes four levels of listening. This is essential viewing for anyone desiring to truly understand situations.

Via Edwin Rutsch
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As Systems Collapse, Citizens Rise

As Systems Collapse, Citizens Rise | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
As we see pictures of German citizens cheering tens of thousands refugee
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Life’s Work: An Interview with George Mitchell

Life’s Work: An Interview with George Mitchell | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
With warring factions, how do you start a dialogue?

The challenge is not to get them to talk, because everybody will talk, but to get them to listen. This is true of humans everywhere: The receptors in our brain for information consistent with our prior beliefs are large and wide open, but the receptors for information that’s contrary to them are much narrower. So we don’t listen well to people we dislike or with whom we have a disagreement. It requires effort and discipline to get people to consider what the other side has to say. That’s why these things take so long.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

With warring factions, how do you start a dialogue?

 

"The challenge is not to get them to talk, because everybody will talk, but to get them to listen. This is true of humans everywhere: The receptors in our brain for information consistent with our prior beliefs are large and wide open, but the receptors for information that’s contrary to them are much narrower. So we don’t listen well to people we dislike or with whom we have a disagreement. It requires effort and discipline to get people to consider what the other side has to say. That’s why these things take so long."

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Boyleing Points: You Must Misremember This - THE ROCKAWAY TIMES - First and Free

Boyleing Points: You Must Misremember This - THE ROCKAWAY TIMES - First and Free | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
Cutting Brian Williams some slack
Annette Schmeling's insight:

In today's fast-moving world, we are under pressure to act now and seldom take time to consider the facts. We want to believe that a well-established journalist would be trustworthy, after all fact-checking is  the root of journalism. 

 

Kevin Boyle demonstrates how easily and quickly we climb the "Ladder of Inference." At the bottom of the ladder we have the reality and facts. From there, each one of us selects what part of the story we are going to focus on based on our beliefs and prior experience. We apply our existing assumptions and make the facts fit the story that we have created in our imagination. Boyle points out, each time our story is triggered we have the possibility of embellishing the story line. The "Ladder of Inference" helps you to slow down and consider better conclusions based on facts and reality. You can also use it to help validate or challenge other people's conclusions. 

 

 

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Why Some Teams Are Smarter Than Others

Why Some Teams Are Smarter Than Others | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
It’s about listening, empathy and having more women.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

The smartest teams were distinguished by three characteristics:

1) members contributed more equally

2) members were better able to read complex emotional states

3) women outperformed men

 

Future studies replicated the results, regardless for mode of interaction. 

 

Contemplative Dialogue can easily lead teams/families/communities to becoming "smart teams" and rediscover one another and our great human capacities.

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APPEARANCE AND REALITY | High Existence

APPEARANCE AND REALITY | High Existence | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
A short story about shown and hidden feelings.
Annette Schmeling's insight:

Often the impression we try to give in public is just the opposite of what we feel inside. Slowing down and taking a long loving look at both the reality and our appearances makes us more mindful of the inconsistencies or dissonance between our deepest held beliefs and the words and actions in the external world. We don't always see the impact of our actions in the reality of the other.

 

In most encounters, we mostly assume the intent of the other, based on our interpretation of their words and their impact on us. Both the intent and the impact are more complex than they often appear (unless you are the child playing with the dog!). When we can see and affirm the reality of the other true dialogue is possible.

 

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▶ Notre Dame - Perspective Reimagined - YouTube

The mind. It guides us. Leads us. Examines the world around us. In this spot airing during NBCSports' broadcasts of Notre Dame football games, iconic Univers...
Annette Schmeling's insight:

"When given the chance to examine things from different perspectives, the mind soars." 

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When The Media Treats White Suspects And Killers Better Than Black Victims

When The Media Treats White Suspects And Killers Better Than Black Victims | Contemplative Dialogue | Scoop.it
This pervasive and not-so-subtle media bias is right in front of your eyes....
Annette Schmeling's insight:

How quickly journalists move from reality and facts to labeling the experience. The Ladder of Inference is a good tool to describe the thinking process we usually go through to label an experience and get to a decision or action. 

 

Starting at the bottom of the ladder, we have reality and facts. From there, we:

* Experience these selectively based on our beliefs and prior experience.
* Interpret what they mean.
* Apply our existing assumptions, sometimes without considering them.
* Draw conclusions based on the interpreted facts and our assumptions.
* Develop beliefs based on these conclusions.
* Take actions that seem "right" because they are based on what we believe.

 

This can create a vicious circle. Our beliefs have a big effect on how we select from reality, and can lead us to ignore the true facts altogether. Soon we are literally jumping to conclusions – by missing facts and skipping steps in the reasoning process. Nick Wing illustrates the biases of the news media when addressing crime stories. He makes a compelling case for race based interpretations for crimes that have been committed. 

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