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Count to ten...

Count to ten... | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Source (e-mail): 

jules@positive-belief.co.uk

 

It might be useful sometimes (when angry, frustrated, scared) to notice what is happening and breathe... sounds too much common sense? How it is that it's so difficult to practice?! Count to ten... or three?

 

Read it from "jules":

 

"Have you ever noticed how little someone breathes when they get angry, frustrated, scared? Or experienced yourself holding your breath when you get upset or sad? 

 

The ironic thing is that these also tend to be the times when we expect ourselves to come up with intelligent responses to whatever life is throwing at us. But how can we when we are not giving ourselves the elixir of life? Oxygen!

 

Just pause for a moment. Notice how you feel. Notice any tension, other body sensations. Notice your thoughts and emotions, basically how you feel right.

 

Now take three deep breathes in.

 

Check in again after and notice how you feel.

 

One of my stock phrases when working in person with clients is 'Do me a favour and breathe....please.' I may well have just asked them something that has triggered a distant memory or posed a question they have never thought of before. Quite often the response is to hold ones breathe. We can get lost in thought and whilst concentrating, hold our breath. But how does that help them? How does it help you? It's certainly very hard for business when clients stop breathing! :-) 

 

Whenever I notice my breathe or realise that I am uncomfortable about something, I pause and take a big deep breathe in. Right to the bottom of my belly.  I believe it's where phrases like, 'count to ten' come from. They encourage you to pause before you respond and breathe! Now you may not feel comfortable immediately but it does give you a reassurance that you are alive and can handle it. (whatever 'it' may be!) Slowly breathing out reminding yourself again, 'You can handle it"'

 

Think about that for a moment. 

 

Whatever has happened in your life, you have handled it. OK, so you may not have handled it graciously, perfectly or with a great deal of intelligence! ;-)  But handle it you did...otherwise you would not be reading this right now!

 

Take a deep breath in. Relax your shoulders down with each out breath. Fill your belly with oxygen. Just three nice deep breathes. How do you feel? You may feel sleepy, which highlights that the other time you breathe effectively is when you are asleep. You may also feel slightly dizzy or light headed, this too highlights how unusual it is to have so much oxygen in your system. 

 

Just imagine now that you stopped a few times a day to do this. Just stopping for a few moments and taking three deep breathes. What could it add to your day?" 

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Don’t Use that Active Listening Stuff on Me! - Gordon Training International

Don’t Use that Active Listening Stuff on Me! - Gordon Training International | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Blog Post by Michelle Adams Has anyone ever said that to you? Or have you ever said that to someone else or at least felt like saying it? At the L.E.T. Tra
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Lots of things are very useful and also have their proper place and time... Active listening might be very useful if it's used on its place and time... e.g. if you have a problem, that's time of the I-message and not the Active listening... but also, it's much more a complete skill than a mere tool or set of behaviour/question elements... great article...
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The Industries That Are Being Disrupted the Most by Digital

The Industries That Are Being Disrupted the Most by Digital | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
According to a global survey of more than 2,000 C-level executives.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Hello, wake-up call...
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10 awkward friendships you probably have — we all have a #9.

10 awkward friendships you probably have — we all have a #9. | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Not all friendships are meant to last forever.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Wow... almot a thèse about friendship... not for one sitting... you could just sip from it from time to time to leave it settle...
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Unsettled - My Manifesto

Unsettled - My Manifesto | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Get busy living or get busy dying Frustrated and unmotivated, I knew there was something greater my life had to offer. But I felt stuck, like trying to walk in a sea of thick mud. My life was like a
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Unternehmenskultur: Schlechte Laune, schlechte Ergebnisse - Harvard Business Manager - Harvard Business Manager

Unternehmenskultur: Schlechte Laune, schlechte Ergebnisse - Harvard Business Manager - Harvard Business Manager | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Emotionen beeinflussen viele für Unternehmen wichtige Faktoren: Kreativität, Fluktuation, Entscheidungsfreude. Unter Umständen verrät schon die Gestaltung des Arbeitsplatzes, wie es um die Laune der Kollegen steht.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
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Robots get a crash course in humanity by interpreting stories

Robots get a crash course in humanity by interpreting stories | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
As it turns out, the key to crafting intelligent machines that won’t go rogue and slaughter us all might be some very thoughtful storytelling. Mark Riedl and Brent Harrison from Georgia Tech are trying to mold the way artificial intelligences wrap their incorporeal heads around human ethics by feeding them stories, and rewarding them for

Via Karen Dietz
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Wow, robots are learning one of the mostly human capacity, the story-telling...

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Karen Dietz's curator insight, February 15, 4:35 PM

"Gotta love this -- artificial intelligence devices are now reading stories in order to get trained to behave well in human societies.


This is the latest project and research from Georgia Tech scientists mark Riedl and Brent Harrison. It's fascinating. Read what these two have been up to and the great strides they are making.


The famous anthropologist Gregory Bateson told a story in the 1970s that goes like this:

A man wanted to know about mind -- not in nature, but in his large private computer. He asked it (no doubt in his best Fortran), "Do you compute that you will ever think like a human being?" The machine then set to work. Finally the computer printed out an answer. The man ran to get the paper and found, neatly typed, the words: "That reminds me of a story..." (Steps to An Ecology Of Mind, 1979)


Looks like we may be getting there.


This review was written by Karen Dietz for her curated content on business storytelling at www.scoop.it/t/just-story-it. Follow her on Twitter @kdietz

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How to Coach (Lead, motivate) Millennials

How to Coach (Lead, motivate) Millennials | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Millennials have much to contribute to the expansion and growth of your business. Do you know how to leverage their potential and coach them effectively?
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Good points....

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Miklos Szilagyi's curator insight, January 27, 6:59 AM

...és persze, egyhamar elkezdhetünk foglalkozni azzal is, hogy hogyan tudjuk támogatni a 2000 után születetteket, a „legöregebbek” közülük már 16 évesek lesznek idén... Tény ugyanakkor, hogy az ún. Y-generation cohors igen nagy létszámú (ez következik a klasszikus népességi szám hullámzásból, ők nagyrészt a II. világháború után született („Nagy...”) nemzedék utódai...)

 

A mellékelt cikk címe annyiban félrevezető, hogy kifejezetten ezen korosztály coacholását említi a cikkben, de a tartalomnak jobban megfelel az általam javasolt cím...

 

Csak Schlagwort-okban:

 

1. Biztosíts nekik struktúrát és segítsd őket a fókuszálásban – ebben nem olyan jók, mert előnyben részesítik a spontaneitást és a rugalmasságot. Mivel ez utóbbiak is egyre fontosabbak, fontos, hogy segíts nekik megtalálni egy rájuk, és a szakmához, a választott tevékenységhez  hasznos egyensúlyt a tervezettség/struktúra és a spontaneitás/rugalmasság végletei között.

 

2. Teremts lehetőségeket a fejlődésre – általában magabiztosak és „meg tudom csinálni” mentalitással érkeznek, ezért kevésbé vevők az autokratikus vezetésre, sokkal inkább motiválhatók mentor-/coach-típusú vezetési stílussal. Hagyni kell a lehetőségek keretei között, hogy megmutathassák erejüket, kreativitásukat, kiválóságukat.

 

3. Támogasd őket, hogy gyors sikereket érhessenek el az elején -  ez fent tudja tartani, vagy növelni is tudja a kezdeti lelkesedésüket.

 

4. A környezetet, amiben dolgoznak, tedd a lehetőségek szerint tanulásra alkalmasnak – lapos szervezetben, őszinte visszajelzésekkel ellátva, egy autentikus vezetővel való transzparens kapcsolatban érzik legjobban magukat és tudnak a leghatékonyabban működni, dolgozni.

 

5. Támogasd őket, hogy gazdagíthassák az életrajzukat – ne számíts arra, hogy elszerződtek egy életre, de ha megtaláljátok a kölcsönös előnyöket, amelyek között az egyik az, hogy érezze azt, hogy nő az értéke a munkaerő piacon, akkor eg harmónikus, és viszonylag tartós és mindkét fél számára gyümölcsöző munkakapcsolat alakulhat ki (és ő is tovább fogja majd a céget ajánlani...)

 

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The release-endurance matrix...

The release-endurance matrix... | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
We read/hear many times that endurance is the king, e.g. acc. to one slogan among the millions: „Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines,
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

"...It will be clear for everybody that there are times when it is the letting go/release will be useful while in other cases you should endure, i.e. there is a positive and negative release and a positive and negative endurance (positive meaning here „useful” and negative meaning „not useful”, of course, for the decider...)... And you have in this way the raw material of the matrix of the title picture..." 

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Does some anxiety stem from greater intelligence?

Does some anxiety stem from greater intelligence? | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Having a brain that overthinks everything can be a blessing and a curse.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Well, who knows... I bet you, there is something in it...

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Viewpoint: Behavioural economics: a model of thinking | Market Research Society

Viewpoint: Behavioural economics: a model of thinking | Market Research Society | Business Coaching | Scoop.it

As behavioural economics has become more embedded in the world of research, so too have the questions that are asked of it. It no longer remains in the domain of behaviour change projects in the public sector and financial services, and there is certainly little of the discussion around its relevance to us as market research practitioners that was around even 18 months ago.

There’s lots of talk of BE as a methodology or spawning new methodologies - auto-ethnography, contextual research, System One ad testing, the blink test, and so on. But I’d propose that it’s about a holistic approach, a way of thinking that transcends every project and every aspect of a project regardless of sector or even of brief. BE has come of age, it needs to be thought of as a model of thinking rather than a series of methods and tools.

Daniel Kahneman said of BE, that ‘humans are to thinking as cats are to swimming’. In other words, we can do it if we really have to … but mostly we don’t. It is simply too effortful to do it all the time. And this is a generic issue, not one that is confined to certain types of brief.

One of the ways that we know when something has real power and relevance is to look at how it manifests in our everyday language. This is certainly the case in BE, and what’s more, being more conscious of our own language will help us spot biases at play in our own lives, giving us valuable clues as to how to take them into account in a research and marketing context.

So, let’s take a closer look at the types of language we tend to bump into on a daily basis, and what they really mean.


Via Alessandro Cerboni
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:


"Daniel Kahneman said of BE, that ‘humans are to thinking as cats are to swimming’. In other words, we can do it if we really have to … but mostly we don’t. It is simply too effortful to do it all the time..." - Very interesting to coaches, trainers, etc. too...

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The Uncanny Valley of Business Storytelling: Anecdote

The Uncanny Valley of Business Storytelling: Anecdote | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Why do some business storytelling efforts fail spectacularly? I hear sponsors of some of these failed attempts (they’re brave enough to call us in after their bad experience) saying, “storytelling just didn’t suit our culture” or “we just didn’t click with the person we brought in to help us.” I suspect these are …
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Wow...  that's an interesting one...

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Building a Culture of Employee Appreciation

Building a Culture of Employee Appreciation | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
How Datotel overhauled its employee-appreciation, -recognition, and -incentive programs
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

"...Thanking employees regularly may also help them accept criticism better, so long as the feedback is specific, says Rick Maurer, a consultant based in Arlington, Virginia, who specializes in guiding businesses through big changes. "If you make it clear that you are trying to make employees better at what they do, positive and negative feedback become a regular part of the conversation," he says. And it's important to discriminate. "If you say thank you all the time, even when people do mediocre work, you won't build an environment where people handle criticism better," says Maurer..."

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Negative effects of coaching on coaches | Challenging Coaching

Negative effects of coaching on coaches | Challenging Coaching | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
In the International Coaching Psychology Review journal September 2014, I read an interesting study by Carston C. Schermuly into the negative effects of coaching on coaches. Do you connect with these? Carston pointed out a number of studies into the negative effect of coaching on coachees, but few looking at the impact on the coaches themselves. He referred to work undertaken looking at the impact on psychotherapists and counsellors that found that they experienced high levels of emotional exha
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

What not is going on in the head of the self-confident coaches! Yeahhh... they are human too...:-)))

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Will at Work Learning: Mythical Retention Data & The Corrupted Cone

Will at Work Learning: Mythical Retention Data & The Corrupted Cone | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
The Danger Have you ever seen the following “research” presented to demonstrate some truth about human learning? Unfortunately, all of the above diagrams are evangelizing misleading information.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Use always your critical mind...
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16 skills students need to learn today to thrive tomorrow

16 skills students need to learn today to thrive tomorrow | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
The gap between the skills people learn and the skills people need is becoming more obvious, as traditional learning falls short of equipping students with the knowledge they need to thrive, according to the World Economic Forum report New Vision for Education: Fostering Social and Emotional Learning Through Technology.

Today's job candidates must be able to collaborate, communicate and solve problems – skills developed mainly through social and emotional learning (SEL). Combined with traditional skills, this social and emotional proficiency will equip students to succeed in the evolving digital economy.

Via David Hain
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Well, it's always interesting to look at the newer and newer guess about what the future will needs from collabaroteurs and leaders... especially this one between 2015 and 2020 is at the same time interesting and (for me) not so ingenious but very good for thinking on a little bit and perhaps to discuss it... why sharing? Because the skills/capacities/strenghts enumerated like a top-list are always interesting to ponder about... Basically the 2 lists  are almost the same set wildely reprioritized (which in my view is not so important, important is being in the short list...) and by one really important change: in 2020 cognitive flexibility will presumably - at least acc. to the very prestigious WEF - beat out from the top-list of needed skills the quality control... yeahh, and the wider range category emotional intelligence is substituting active listening (not a big deal and I would have made this changes for 2015, too).

My point is that the basic underlying trends are just already here, we do not need to wait for 2020... by the way, one word about the only remarkable change... while I think cognitive flexibility is very important (arguably my most cherised skill - I hope it's not my biggest blind spot...:-))), and I can follow the thinking thread that the "cold" (mechanical) type quality control skill would be good to be substituted by something which makes the original goals of quality control achievable by applying/energizing more "hot", people oriented skills... it's difficult to say what skill that would be and, of course,  my IMHO scoop-it comment has no any such material prestige like that of an expert supported by the World Economic Forum but I try... I think that the skill of empowering people is in itself such a set of sub-skills (?) which makes it worth perhaps for the top short list (arguably it is a general skill to learn and not only for later leaders - besides, who knows ahead who will be leader one day?!)... I mean by sub-skills like capacity of trusting people (with enough personal & professional self-esterm and self-confidence), like an inner will to develop people (among other things in order to make them qualified professionally and in all the other necessary ways for empowerment), power to communicate his/her vision in a way that it motivates people and is able to align them around the vision (by of course involving them thoroughly and throughout every and each project  from idea to accomplishment in the thinking/decisional process!)...
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Linda De Vries's curator insight, March 18, 11:43 PM

Useful new reporting frm the World Economic Forum on future skills and current gaps!

Ricard Lloria's curator insight, March 19, 5:59 AM

Useful new reporting frm the World Economic Forum on future skills and current gaps!

Enrico Maset's curator insight, March 23, 8:57 AM

Useful new reporting frm the World Economic Forum on future skills and current gaps!

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Leaving Rage and Righteousness Behind:The Doctrine Of Active Listening

Leaving Rage and Righteousness Behind:The Doctrine Of Active Listening | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
On one of my first visits as a hospice volunteer, I visited a woman, a writer dying of cancer, and I asked her how she was, and she said she was in great pain and eager to die. “Oh,” I …
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Miracles just happens... especially if we are helping them just a little bit happening... e.g. and foremost by active listening...
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6 mistakes you need to make at least once.

6 mistakes you need to make at least once. | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Maybe the road to success is paved with mistakes.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Like it... done all (and some more apparently to be more successful...:-)))
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Gerd Leonhard about the digital future...

https://youtu.be/jDviVFuJHgc
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Just thinking... the human helping profession has a future, I think... but even there, there will be relatively simple expert softwares which might handle the daily simple things... and there is an interesting task whose importance is just indirectly underlined by what is told in the presentation... namely, in, say, 50 years everything what is rational, logical, simply to be put into algorithms will be put in algorithms and there will remain something out and it is the unconscious, the creative, etc. right-brain type of stuff human has... it is time to accelerate - even by the help of the more and more  digitally supported neuropsychology - the understanding this vast area and - in the framework of possibilities - make it work for us... That area is what remains to us beside some very academic and very engineering jobs... 

 

 

I know, exactly that's the most difficult but once more the challenge what we hear among other things from this presentation is huge (with Mr. Trump's pet word...)  

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Are You a Leader, or Just Pretending to Be One?

Are You a Leader, or Just Pretending to Be One? | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
It’s not about performing, in either sense of the word.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:
Very good points very breefly...
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Human Memory Capacity is TEN TIMES MORE Than Previously Thought - PsyBlog

Human Memory Capacity is TEN TIMES MORE Than Previously Thought - PsyBlog | Business Coaching | Scoop.it

A human brain could hold as much information as the entire internet, a new study finds.

Human memory capacity is in the petabyte range, researchers at the Salk Institute have now found.

This is ten times larger than was previously thought.

Professor Terry Sejnowski, the study’s first author, said:

“This is a real bombshell in the field of neuroscience.

We discovered the key to unlocking the design principle for how hippocampal neurons function with low energy but high computation power.

Our new measurements of the brain’s memory capacity increase conservative estimates by a factor of 10 to at least a petabyte, in the same ballpark as the World Wide Web.”

The conclusions come from an analysis of the brain’s synapses.The picture above shows a synapse between an axon (green) and dendrite (yellow). 


Via Alessandro Cerboni
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Good news...:-))) OK, I did know it... intuitively, of course...:-)))

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Unrealistic Expectations That Do You Harm

Unrealistic Expectations That Do You Harm | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Your expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you don’t believe you’ll succeed, you won’t. Research from LSU shows that people
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Great post... pay attention to the right balance between reality and law of attraction... I would have written this but it is better that I could...:-)))

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Beware the rule-following co-worker, Harvard study warns

Beware the rule-following co-worker, Harvard study warns | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Harvard study on toxic employees lays out three characteristics that should make you suspicious.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Well, that the toxic, annoying workers excel in their very profession is the most trivial fact (it's mentioned that it is counterintuitive, what a BS...)... otherwise they would get rid off at the second occasion of a real annulment... but they are making themselves quasi irreplaceable... I say quasi because nobody is irreplaceable... the lazy, very much in their comfort-zone dwelling manager will though not take the challenge to find somebody at least so good a professional and therefore makes compromises... more and more compromises... I know case when the last compromise was that the manager himself was fired instead of the toxic guy... watch out...

 

BTW, sorry guys, Ricky Gervais' David Brent (the original British version) is the real one...:-)))

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How to use an approach (here solution focus) in a guerrilla way without manipulation...

http://www.corpjesters.com/prague/prague_guerilla_video.mov

Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

A short, very instructive interview about how to use solution focused approach in consultancy in a way what can work and perhaps later might also persuade to use it contractually as well... it happens that clients are vacabulary-resistent to certain terminus technicus (I myself lived situation where the contract should not use the word "coaching" due to earlier bad experience with it), this interview shows how to use still gently (and, of course, in a perfectly ethical way) an approach which you believe in... Use creative but simple - no special - wording (or if it's needed, statement but only about observation of useful things, behavior), be on a peer-level with the group, etc. Watch the video... The video is from the SF international organization as from 2006, the named practitioners in the video are Jenny Clark and Mark McKergow...

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5 Quotes on Risk That Will Have You Ready to Take Action

5 Quotes on Risk That Will Have You Ready to Take Action | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Nothing ventured, nothing gained -- right? Get ready to face some risk with these inspiring calls to action.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.” -- Peter Drucker



There are timeless & evergreen business & management thoughs and Peter Drucker is one of them who were capable to coin lots of them...


Yes, "courage" is somehow and somewhat underrepresented in the literature.... although...

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How corporates co-opted the art of mindfulness to make us bear the unbearable

How corporates co-opted the art of mindfulness to make us bear the unbearable | Business Coaching | Scoop.it
Corporate culture has stripped the ancient practice of mindfulness of its spirituality and re-branded it as a modern solution to over-work.
Miklos Szilagyi's insight:

Interesting one... and a difficult one... the corporate leaders still not very much there what was the goal of the last decade, now it is an old new approach more or less with the same goal... we'll see...

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