The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people, essential in our development. "The study of neuroplasticity is changing the way scientists think about the...
“Relationship is key,” he emphasizes. “When we work with relationship, we work with brain structure. Relationship stimulates us and is essential in our development. People rarely mention relationship in brain studies, but it provides vital input to the brain.
Relationship stimulates us and is
essential in our development.
People rarely mention relationship
in brain studies, but it provides
vital input to the brain.
Every form of psychotherapy that works, works because it creates healthier brain function and structure.… In approaching our lives, we can ask where do we experience the chaos or rigidity that reveal where integration is impaired.
We can then use the focus of our attention to integrate both our brain and our relationships. Ultimately we can learn to be open in an authentic way to others, and to ourselves.
The outcome of such an integrative presence is not only a sense of deep well-being and compassion for ourselves and others, but also an opening of the doors of awareness to a sense of the interdependence of everything. ‘We’ are indeed a part of an interconnected whole.””
I use the word "empathy" a lot when I'm talking about parenting. Sometimes I forget it might not be entirely clear exactly what is meant by using empathy when communicating with children...
Here are five things you can do that will help you respond to a hurting child with empathy:
1. Take your child’s perspective. See the world through his eyes. His problems might seem trivial to you, but try to see them as he does. Broken crayons, lost toys, stuck zippers, or nightly clean-up time mean more to your child in his world than they do to you in yours.
2. Refrain from judgment. Yes, you may disagree with your child. You may think she was “wrong” for what she did, said, or felt during the conflict she had at school that day, but put that aside for now. Your child doesn’t need your judgment, she needs to be able to impart her own judgment. Help her do that by focusing on her feelings regarding what happened.
3. Communicate your understanding of your child’s feelings.
Do you regularly try to motivate yourself with self-criticism and mental projections about all the bad things that will happen to you if you don’t get it together? While this approach may create that extra surge of adrenaline to meet your work deadline, cold call the next potential client, get to the gym, or get your house cleaned before the in-laws visit, it comes at a cost. You end up feeling bad about yourself a lot of the time.
You get into constant “fight or flight” mode, trying to avoid the negative imagined consequences, which messes with your cortisol and other stress hormones. You get overwhelmed, and decide to zone out playing video games or posting mindlessly on social media, or you rebel and eat, drink, or spend too much, thus creating more self-disgust. If this sounds familiar, perhaps you need a healthy dose of self-compassion.
= Forget everything you have been taught, because Matthieu Ricard is here to teach you a new way of interpreting the human being. A French Buddhist monk and a disciple of Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard is the author of Plaidoyer pour l’altruisme (Advocacy For Altruism), in bookstores since September 19. It is a non-religious book similar to an encyclopedia, and its content is very relevant for these times of economic crisis.
There is evidence that we aren’t selfish human beings driven only by our own interests. Moreover, today’s society is not more violent than it was in the past. Yes, we can change the way we are and, therefore, cooperate more, not only on an individual level, but on a community level, too.
The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people, essential in our development "The study of neuroplasticity is changing the way scientists think about the...
“Relationship is key,” he emphasizes. “When we work with relationship, we work with brain structure. Relationship stimulates us and is essential in our development. People rarely mention relationship in brain studies, but it provides vital input to the brain. Every form of psychotherapy that works, works because it creates healthier brain function and structure.… In approaching our lives, we can ask where do we experience the chaos or rigidity that reveal where integration is impaired.
We can then use the focus of our attention to integrate both our brain and our relationships. Ultimately we can learn to be open in an authentic way to others, and to ourselves. The outcome of such an integrative presence is not only a sense of deep well-being and compassion for ourselves and others, but also an opening of the doors of awareness to a sense of the interdependence of everything. ‘We’ are indeed a part of an interconnected whole.””
Shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown has studied the power of these intensely painful feelings as a professor at the University of Houston's Graduate College of Social Work.
By keeping quiet, Brown says your shame will grow exponentially. "It will creep into every corner and crevice of your life," she says.
The antidote, Brown says, is empathy. She explains that by talking about your shame with a friend who expresses empathy, the painful feeling cannot survive. "Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I'm alone," she says.
Here's the bottom line: "Shame cannot survive being spoken," Brown says. "It cannot survive empathy."
Introducing three empathy songs written and performed by Theresa Tan!
My two passions, education and music, collided when I decided to write kids songs to help teach empathy. Although I had never written songs before, I was inspired by Start Empathy's mission. What better way to teach young children than through song? In addition to being naturally engaging, studies indicate that the act of playing music may also boost kids' empathy.
As I set out to write the empathy songs, I drew heavily from my experience as a kindergarten teacher and cellist. I designated an emotional literacy learning objective to each song. Then I translated the objectives into kid-friendly lyrics. (The rhyming dictionary definitely came in handy during in this process.) Meanwhile, I brainstormed and tested out melodies with the words. My time spent improvising in an Americana band, playing in orchestras, and simply listening to other kids songs helped immensely. After several editing rounds, I came out with three initial songs.
You are your own worst critic. Self-compassion is the act of extending kind thoughts towards yourself. Learn how to live with more self-compassion today.
1. Start With The Basics
It’s very difficult to extend any compassion towards yourself if you aren’t letting yourself meet your most basic needs.
Get full nights of rest, eat clean and nutritious food, and get some form of exercise at least two or three times per week.
Living a sedentary lifestyle, with little rest, and a sugary, white flour based diet is the fastest way to burn out on a cellular level. Just because you have opposable thumbs and the ability to think rationally doesn’t mean that you aren’t an animal that has certain needs to maintain a baseline level of health.
Our goal should be to not only help children take others' viewpoints but to value diverse perspectives and people. How do we expand children's circle of empathy and concern?
Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It's not only a foundation for ethical functioning and professional success but for good relationships of many kinds and for loving well. Yet it's also vital to understand what true empathy is. There's far more to empathy than simply understanding another person's point of view. After all, con men and torturers are highly skilled at understanding others' perspectives -- so they can bore in on their victims' weaknesses. Siblings can have hawk-like skills at spotting and preying on each other's most shameful vulnerabilities and fears. Salespeople, politicians, actors and marketers are often very deft at taking other perspectives but they may not care any more about other people than the rest of us.
The purpose of the CCARE Summer Research Institute, co-sponsored by the Telluride Institute, a five-day conference to be held in Summer 2013, is to advance research on compassion and altruism through collaboration, dialog, inquiry, education, and research.
Drawing from several disciplines including neuroscience, psychology, genetics, economics, and contemplative traditions, the CCARE Summer Research Institute aims to examine compassion, altruism and prosocial behavior from a wide perspective of scientific angles. In particular, the institute will explore and discuss the neural correlates, biological bases and antecedents of compassion; the effects of compassion on behavior, physiology, overall health, and the brain; and methods, techniques, and programs for cultivating compassion and promoting altruism within individuals and society-wide. Compassion education programs will also be integrated into the curriculum.
Not just logic, but also EMPATHY. “What will distinguish those who thrive will be their ability to understand what makes their fellow woman or man tick, to forge relationships, and to care for others. Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind
"I'm not quite sure why I did it, but I volunteered to speak about empathy at the Global Education Conferencecoming up in a couple weeks. So I spent some time this weekend trying to learn a little more about the topic.I've been interested in empathy as a possibly teachable/developable skill since reading Pink's A Whole New Mind book some years ago and thinking about how reading builds empathetic understandings.
What surprised me in my research, however, was not learning what empathy is - but what it is not. In trying to synthesize some things, here are a few "myths of empathy": "
In the so-called age of narcissism, it's been said that empathy is declining -- and some research has shown that social media is causing us to become more self-obsessed than ever before. But whether or not selfishness is actually on the rise, it's safe to say that we need compassion more than ever.
Eastern spiritual practices have long touted the importance of compassion as a necessary ingredient for building happy lives and peaceful nations ("Without [compassion], humanity cannot survive," the Dalai Lama wrote in The Art of Happiness). Now, Western science is catching up to this ancient wisdom...
Here are six insights that will change the way you think about compassion -- and revolutionize your approach to giving and social connection...
1) For instance, you might think that taking a stern approach with yourself about your smoking habit would help to achieve your aim. However, a recent study revealed that smokers who offer themselves self-compassion rather than self-condemnation were able to reduce their smoking more than control subjects (Kelly et al, 2010).
Perhaps one of the most defining features of humanity is our capacity for empathy -- the ability to put ourselves in others' shoes. A new University of Virginia study strongly suggests that we are hardwired to empathize because we closely associate people who are close to us -- friends, spouses, lovers -- with our very selves...
Dr Coan said in the study, which was published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, this is probably the source of empathy and part of the evolutionary process.
He explained a threat to ourselves is also a threat to our resources needed to survive. 'Threats can take things away from us. But when we develop friendships, people we can trust and rely on who in essence become we, then our resources are expanded, we gain.
'Your goal becomes my goal. It's a part of our survivability,' he added.