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Empathy: The Antidote to Bullying

Empathy: The Antidote to Bullying | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
We must change from re-acting against bullying, to pro-acting for empathy. We change our culture by how we interact relationally with others, not by sloganizing.

 

Empathy has little to do with slogans, rallies, reports, celebrities, or anti-defamation league banners.Empathy is a quiet, powerful work; it is the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings, or in simple colloquialism "walking in someone else's shoes." It is about "connecting." Bullying, conversely, is about "disconnection." The bully needs to identify and establish something about the victim that is different (that provides reason to disassociate) in order to bully. The bully needs to feel and believe there is a disconnection. In some ways bullying serves as a barometer showing the health of our communities. It measures the level of disconnect we allow between one another.

 

by Diane Murrell


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Nick Lesley's comment, May 27, 3:59 PM
it needs to be a law that if you bully you should pay a fine cause its cold-hearted and disrespectful to others it doesnt just hurt them either it could lead to suicide and hurt other families as well.
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How to Share Your Feelings and Be Heard

How to Share Your Feelings and Be Heard | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
These 4 steps can help you express your feelings compassionately, which will increase the odds that your loved one will be able to really hear you.
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Does Nature Select for Nice?

Does Nature Select for Nice? | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

A new book argues that selflessness, not selfishness, creates more genetic success.

 

But according to physicist and science writer Stefan Klein’s new book, the idea that we are born to be selfish is dead wrong. In Survival of the Nicest: How Altruism Made Us Human and Why It Pays to Get AlongKlein argues that selflessness, not selfishness, creates more genetic success, and that proof for this has been gaining momentum among scientists, gradually challenging the “survival of the fittest” model in evolution.

 

======================

Selflessness, after all, has some

incredible benefits. With selflessness

comes compassion and empathy,

=========

 

Selflessness, after all, has some incredible benefits. With selflessness comes compassion and empathy, the combination of which lays the foundation for vital survival skills that were required by humans to colonize the world—skills, for example, like the ability to learn to follow common goals. By Joseph Ferrell |


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Daniel Goleman et la compassion

Daniel GOLEMAN, Auteur de L’intelligence émotionnelle, demande pourquoi nous ne faisons pas preuve de compassion plus souvent.
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Colorado high school replaces punishment with 'talking circles' - YouTube

At Hinkley High School in Aurora, Colo., students, parents and administration are meeting face-to-face to resolve student conflict with conversation. The num...
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Self-Compassion: How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself

Self-Compassion: How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

You are your own worst critic. Self-compassion is the act of extending kind thoughts towards yourself. Learn how to live with more self-compassion today.

1. Start With The Basics

It’s very difficult to extend any compassion towards yourself if you aren’t letting yourself meet your most basic needs.

Get full nights of rest, eat clean and nutritious food, and get some form of exercise at least two or three times per week.

Living a sedentary lifestyle, with little rest, and a sugary, white flour based diet is the fastest way to burn out on a cellular level. Just because you have opposable thumbs and the ability to think rationally doesn’t mean that you aren’t an animal that has certain needs to maintain a baseline level of health.

 

Jordan


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David Hain's curator insight, February 5, 2:09 AM

Visualising a positive future starts with valuing what you have to offer.

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The Fearless Heart: Why Do We Do What We Do?

The Fearless Heart: Why Do We Do What We Do? | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
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True Empathy

True Empathy | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
Our goal should be to not only help children take others' viewpoints but to value diverse perspectives and people. How do we expand children's circle of empathy and concern?

 

Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It's not only a foundation for ethical functioning and professional success but for good relationships of many kinds and for loving well. Yet it's also vital to understand what true empathy is. There's far more to empathy than simply understanding another person's point of view. After all, con men and torturers are highly skilled at understanding others' perspectives -- so they can bore in on their victims' weaknesses. Siblings can have hawk-like skills at spotting and preying on each other's most shameful vulnerabilities and fears. Salespeople, politicians, actors and marketers are often very deft at taking other perspectives but they may not care any more about other people than the rest of us.

 

Richard Weissbourd

Lecturer, Harvard Graduate School of Education

 


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Integral Options Cafe: Science of Compassion 2013 — Neuroscience and Cognitive Perspectives on Compassion

Integral Options Cafe: Science of Compassion 2013 — Neuroscience and Cognitive Perspectives on Compassion | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

The purpose of the CCARE Summer Research Institute, co-sponsored by the Telluride Institute, a five-day conference to be held in Summer 2013, is to advance research on compassion and altruism through collaboration, dialog, inquiry, education, and research.

Drawing from several disciplines including neuroscience, psychology, genetics, economics, and contemplative traditions, the CCARE Summer Research Institute aims to examine compassion, altruism and prosocial behavior from a wide perspective of scientific angles. In particular, the institute will explore and discuss the neural correlates, biological bases and antecedents of compassion; the effects of compassion on behavior, physiology, overall health, and the brain; and methods, techniques, and programs for cultivating compassion and promoting altruism within individuals and society-wide. Compassion education programs will also be integrated into the curriculum.


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7 myths about empathy - Doug Johnson

7 myths about empathy - Doug Johnson | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

Not just logic, but also EMPATHY. “What will distinguish those who thrive will be their ability to understand what makes their fellow woman or man tick, to forge relationships, and to care for others. Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind

 

"I'm not quite sure why I did it, but I volunteered to speak about empathy at the Global Education Conferencecoming up in a couple weeks. So I spent some time this weekend trying to learn a little more about the topic.I've been interested in empathy as a possibly teachable/developable skill since reading Pink's A Whole New Mind book some years ago and thinking about how reading builds empathetic understandings.

 

What surprised me in my research, however, was not learning what empathy is - but what it is not. In trying to synthesize some things, here are a few "myths of empathy": "


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If We Could All Tap Into This Quality (Which We Can), The World Would Be A Better Place

If We Could All Tap Into This Quality (Which We Can), The World Would Be A Better Place | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

In the so-called age of narcissism, it's been said that empathy is declining -- and some research has shown that social media is causing us to become more self-obsessed than ever before. But whether or not selfishness is actually on the rise, it's safe to say that we need compassion more than ever.

 

Eastern spiritual practices have long touted the importance of compassion as a necessary ingredient for building happy lives and peaceful nations ("Without [compassion], humanity cannot survive," the Dalai Lama wrote in The Art of Happiness). Now, Western science is catching up to this ancient wisdom...

 

Here are six insights that will change the way you think about compassion -- and revolutionize your approach to giving and social connection...

 

  By Carolyn Gregoire


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David Hain's curator insight, November 5, 2013 1:30 AM

A plea for compassion to change the world...

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The Neuroscience of Empathy

The Neuroscience of Empathy | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
Neuroscientists identify specific brain areas linked to compassion.
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The Emotions Series - Befriending Anger

The Emotions Series  - Befriending Anger | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
“Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you to understand what you need and what you value.” Thich Nhat Hah For seven years I regularly facilitated seminars on conflict resolution.  Most of ...
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4 Reasons to Practice Self-Compassion

4 Reasons to Practice Self-Compassion | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

 Developing self-compassion offers far-reaching benefits.

 

1) For instance, you might think that taking a stern approach with yourself about your smoking habit would help to achieve your aim. However, a recent study revealed that smokers who offer themselves self-compassion rather than self-condemnation were able to reduce their smoking more than control subjects (Kelly et al, 2010).

 By RACHEL FINTZY, MA, MFT

-----------------------

1. stop smoking - less jugements.

2. less procrastination

3. foster creativity  (Zabelina & Robinson)

4. more resilience 

 

 

 


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How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? Here’s How To Tell

How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? Here’s How To Tell | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
Here are 14 signs you have high emotional intelligence.
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Think Empathy's Just a Nice Idea? Think Again...

Think Empathy's Just a Nice Idea? Think Again... | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
Empathy In Action: How a Concept is Making Real Change In the World




The world can be a scary and confusing place when you're a kid, even if you're one of the lucky ones and have every imaginable amenity at your disposal. Even the most fortunate c...
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Six Habits of Highly Empathic People

Six Habits of Highly Empathic People | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
We can cultivate empathy throughout our lives, says Roman Krznaric—and use it as a radical force for social transformation.
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The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people

The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people, essential in our development.
"The study of neuroplasticity is changing the way scientists think about the...

 

“Relationship is key,” he emphasizes. “When we work with relationship, we work with brain structure. Relationship stimulates us and is essential in our development. People rarely mention relationship in brain studies, but it provides vital input to the brain.

 

==========================

Relationship stimulates us and is

essential in our development.

People rarely mention relationship

in brain studies, but it provides

vital input to the brain.

===============

 

Every form of psychotherapy that works, works because it creates healthier brain function and structure.… In approaching our lives, we can ask where do we experience the chaos or rigidity that reveal where integration is impaired.

 

We can then use the focus of our attention to integrate both our brain and our relationships. Ultimately we can learn to be open in an authentic way to others, and to ourselves.

 

The outcome of such an integrative presence is not only a sense of deep well-being and compassion for ourselves and others, but also an opening of the doors of awareness to a sense of the interdependence of everything. ‘We’ are indeed a part of an interconnected whole.””

 

by Patty de Llosa


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Peter C. Newton-Evans's curator insight, September 13, 2013 11:15 AM

More evidence of the mutualistic capacity of the human brain -- far more significant than the tiny area that makes us capable of anger and violence.

Ruth Obadia's curator insight, October 7, 2013 6:04 AM


“We is what me is!”

Eli Levine's curator insight, February 12, 11:34 PM

The network of "I" is connected to the network that is "us" in an upward gradient.

 

There can be no full "I" without "we", because all humans have to be socialized, like any other social animal, in order to develop fully as individual human beings.

 

We are all connected to one another and the environment to form one web on this planet.  It affects us and we affect it, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, depending upon what we do to it consciously and subconsciously.

 

Why listen to the individualists who have absolutely no sense or desire to connect with the other that is around them and that has helped form them as individuals, psychologically, physically and socially?

 

They are not in touch with the actual world, and are probably just of a pathological mindset that, I think, needs to be treated as a disease by our society.

 

We are all one.

 

What you do effects all those who are around you and are connected to you.

 

And, most importantly, what you do to them/it is the same thing that you do to yourself, as an individual.

 

Think about it.

 

Libertarians.

 

Conservatives.

 

Think about it.

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Your most important skill: Empathy - Chad Fowler

Your most important skill: Empathy - Chad Fowler | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

 Empathy is the most important skill you can practice. It will lead to greater success personally and professionally and will allow you to

 

Why practice empathy?

Why should you explicitly work to enhance your ability to empathize with others?

 

You will be more likely to treat the people you care about the way they wish you would treat them.

 

You will better understand the needs of people around you.

 

You will more clearly understand the perception you create in others with your words and actions.

 

You will understand the unspoken parts of your communication with others.

 

You will better understand the needs of your customers at work.

 

You will have less trouble dealing with interpersonal conflict both at home and at work.

 

You will be able to more accurately predict the actions and reactions of people you interact with.You will learn how to motivate the people around you.

 

You will more effectively convince others of your point of view.

 

You will experience the world in higher resolution as you perceive through not only your perspective but the perspectives of those around you.

 

You will find it easier to deal with the negativity of others if you can better understand their motivations and fears.

 

Lately when I find myself personally struggling with someone, I remind myself to empathize and I immediately calm myself and accept the situation for what it is.

Chad Fowler


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RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuin...
Jean-Philippe Bouchard's insight:

I love Brené Brown! Cleare, precise, compelling!

Plus she uses the exact same definition of empathy that we use in Nonvient Communication (NVC). 

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The 5 Habits of an Empathetic Communicator

The 5 Habits of an Empathetic Communicator | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it
How we respond to others is largely a function of habit. Many small, repetitive, automatic responses that grow over a long period of time form habits. Mostly, these reactions are outside of our con...
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Five Expressions of Empathy

Five Expressions of Empathy | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

I use the word "empathy" a lot when I'm talking about parenting. Sometimes I forget it might not be entirely clear exactly what is meant by using empathy when communicating with children...

 

Here are five things you can do that will help you respond to a hurting child with empathy:

 

1. Take your child’s perspective. See the world through his eyes. His problems might seem trivial to you, but try to see them as he does. Broken crayons, lost toys, stuck zippers, or nightly clean-up time mean more to your child in his world than they do to you in yours.

 

2. Refrain from judgment. Yes, you may disagree with your child. You may think she was “wrong” for what she did, said, or felt during the conflict she had at school that day, but put that aside for now. Your child doesn’t need your judgment, she needs to be able to impart her own judgment. Help her do that by focusing on her feelings regarding what happened.

 

3. Communicate your understanding of your child’s feelings. 

4. Stop before you say BUT. ..

5. Instead, try AND...


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Why Self-Compassion Helps You Meet Life's Challenges

Why Self-Compassion Helps You Meet Life's Challenges | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

Do you regularly try to motivate yourself with self-criticism and mental projections about all the bad things that will happen to you if you don’t get it together? While this approach may create that extra surge of adrenaline to meet your work deadline, cold call the next potential client, get to the gym, or get your house cleaned before the in-laws visit, it comes at a cost. You end up feeling bad about yourself a lot of the time. 

 

You get into constant “fight or flight” mode, trying to avoid the negative imagined consequences, which messes with your cortisol and other stress hormones. You get overwhelmed, and decide to zone out playing video games or posting mindlessly on social media, or you rebel and eat, drink, or spend too much, thus creating more self-disgust. If this sounds familiar, perhaps you need a healthy dose of self-compassion.

 

by Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.


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Sílvia Montserrat's curator insight, October 8, 2013 11:14 AM

I'm copletely agree...interesting words

Glori R Zeltzer, MFT's curator insight, October 18, 2013 1:34 PM

When we show ourselves love, we blossom, just as children and our gardens do.

EV's curator insight, December 4, 2013 6:15 AM

From the author: "...you need a healthy dose of self-compassion."

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6 Types of People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story - Super Soul Sunday - OWN

When something shameful happens in your life, shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown says, there are six types of people with whom you shouldn't ...
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We Weren't Born Selfish

We Weren't Born Selfish | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

= Forget everything you have been taught, because Matthieu Ricard is here to teach you a new way of interpreting the human being. A French Buddhist monk and a disciple of Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard is the author of Plaidoyer pour l’altruisme (Advocacy For Altruism), in bookstores since September 19. It is a non-religious book similar to an encyclopedia, and its content is very relevant for these times of economic crisis.

 

There is evidence that we aren’t selfish human beings driven only by our own interests. Moreover, today’s society is not more violent than it was in the past. Yes, we can change the way we are and, therefore, cooperate more, not only on an individual level, but on a community level, too.


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David Hain's curator insight, October 1, 2013 3:03 AM

This guy is great!

Ricard Lloria's comment, October 1, 2013 6:21 AM
Yes He is David!
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The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people

The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people | Authentic Dialogue | Scoop.it

The Neurobiology of “We”. Relationship is the flow of energy and information between people, essential in our development
"The study of neuroplasticity is changing the way scientists think about the...

 

“Relationship is key,” he emphasizes. “When we work with relationship, we work with brain structure. Relationship stimulates us and is essential in our development. People rarely mention relationship in brain studies, but it provides vital input to the brain. Every form of psychotherapy that works, works because it creates healthier brain function and structure.… In approaching our lives, we can ask where do we experience the chaos or rigidity that reveal where integration is impaired.

 

We can then use the focus of our attention to integrate both our brain and our relationships. Ultimately we can learn to be open in an authentic way to others, and to ourselves. The outcome of such an integrative presence is not only a sense of deep well-being and compassion for ourselves and others, but also an opening of the doors of awareness to a sense of the interdependence of everything. ‘We’ are indeed a part of an interconnected whole.””

 

Patty de Llosa

 

 


Via Edwin Rutsch
more...
Peter C. Newton-Evans's curator insight, September 13, 2013 11:15 AM

More evidence of the mutualistic capacity of the human brain -- far more significant than the tiny area that makes us capable of anger and violence.

Ruth Obadia's curator insight, October 7, 2013 6:04 AM


“We is what me is!”

Eli Levine's curator insight, February 12, 11:34 PM

The network of "I" is connected to the network that is "us" in an upward gradient.

 

There can be no full "I" without "we", because all humans have to be socialized, like any other social animal, in order to develop fully as individual human beings.

 

We are all connected to one another and the environment to form one web on this planet.  It affects us and we affect it, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, depending upon what we do to it consciously and subconsciously.

 

Why listen to the individualists who have absolutely no sense or desire to connect with the other that is around them and that has helped form them as individuals, psychologically, physically and socially?

 

They are not in touch with the actual world, and are probably just of a pathological mindset that, I think, needs to be treated as a disease by our society.

 

We are all one.

 

What you do effects all those who are around you and are connected to you.

 

And, most importantly, what you do to them/it is the same thing that you do to yourself, as an individual.

 

Think about it.

 

Libertarians.

 

Conservatives.

 

Think about it.