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Big Bad Bully

Big Bad Bully | Anthology | Scoop.it
Bullies aim to inflict pain. But eventually, the one most hurt by bullying is the bully himself.
Eileen Zhang's insight:

-If Americans think at all about it, they tend to think that bullying is a given of childhood, at most a passing stage, one inhabited largely by boys who will, simply, inevitably, be boys

-The same parents harbor the belief that kids should somehow always be able to defend themselves—to "stand up for themselves," "fight back," "not be pushed around by anyone"—and those who don't or can't almost deserve what they get

 

-Bullying causes a great deal of misery to others, and its effects on victims last for decades, perhaps even a lifetime

-Most bullies have a downwardly spiraling course through life, their behavior interfering with learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, and mental health.

-Bullies turn into antisocial adults, and are far more likely than non aggressive kids to commit crimes, batter their wives, abuse their children—and produce another generation of bullies.

-The aggression of girls has been vastly underestimated because it takes a different form. It is a far more subtle and complex means of meanness than the overt physical aggression boys engage in.

-The person hurt most by bullying is the bully him or herself, though that's not at first obvious, and the negative effects increase over time 

-For the social life of kids, often thought as an accessory to childhood, turns out to be crucial to healthy development

-In the long run, bullying can be a way—a desperate and damaging way—for some people to maintain a circle of human contacts

-And bullying always has a very long run. Bullying may begin in childhood, but it continues into adulthood; it is among the most stable of human behavior styles

-By definition, the bully's target has difficulty defending him or herself, and the bully's aggressive behavior is intended to cause distress

-There's either a larger child or several children picking on one, or a child who is clearly more dominant

 -bullying involves a pattern of repeated aggressive behavior with negative intent directed from one child to another where there is a power difference-contrary to parents' beliefs, bullying is not a problem that sorts itself out naturally

-The aggression can be physical—pushes and shoves and hitting, kicking, and punching-it can be verbal—name-calling, taunts, threats, ridicule, and insults-bullies get, the more their aggression takes the form of verbal threats and abuse-the intimidation that starts with a fist is later accomplished with no more than a nasty glance

-Bullies not only say mean things to you, they say mean things about you to others

-Figures differ from study to study, from country to country, and especially from school to school, but from 15 to 20 percent of children are involved in bullying more than once or twice a term, either as bullies or victims

-Bullies, for the most part, are different from you and me-they have a distinctive cognitive make-up—a hostile attributional bias, a kind of paranoia.-they perceive provocation where it does not exist

-These children act aggressively because they process social information inaccurately. Say someone bumps them and they drop a book. Bullies don't see it as an accident; they see it as a call to arms

-Whether they start out there or get there along the way, bullies come to believe that aggression is the best solution to conflicts

-They also have a strong need to dominate, and derive satisfaction from injuring others. Bullies lack what psychologists call prosocial behavior

-they do not know how to relate to others

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Far From Being Harmless, the Effects of Bullying Last Long Into Adulthood - Association for Psychological Science

Far From Being Harmless, the Effects of Bullying Last Long Into Adulthood - Association for Psychological Science | Anthology | Scoop.it
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Psychologist’s studies make sense of bullying / UCLA Today

Psychologist’s studies make sense of bullying / UCLA Today | Anthology | Scoop.it
Psychologist’s studies make sense of bullying / UCLA Today
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