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How to Listen When Your Communication Styles Don’t Match

How to Listen When Your Communication Styles Don’t Match | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
What to do when someone is screaming, venting, explaining, or belaboring.

Via donhornsby
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donhornsby's curator insight, October 11, 2013 4:55 AM

(From the article): Listening around that style, however, can be incredibly effortful.  When someone is either venting/screaming or explaining/belaboring it triggers a part of your middle emotional brain called the amygdala, which desperately wants to hijack your attentive listening and instead react reflexively with whatever your hardwired reactions are.  And resisting that amygdala hijack is exhausting.

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11 Ways That Active Listening Can Help Your Relationships

11 Ways That Active Listening Can Help Your Relationships | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Put active listening together with empathy to improve your relationships

 

The three stages of AEL (Active Empathic Listening) involve sensing, processing, and responding in empathic ways. In the sensing stage, you indicate that you are taking in all of the outward and inward features of another person's communication. Empathically sensing means that you understand not only what is said but how it is said. In the processing stage, you put the pieces of the conversation together to construct a "narrative whole" that provides you with the essence of what's being communicated. Finally, in the responding stage, you ask questions to make sure you understand what the person is saying. You also show, verbally and nonverbally, that you are paying attention to the speaker.


With this background, see how you rate on the AEL's three subscales...

 


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Radical Listening – 6 Strategies For Deeper Connections - Goodlife Zen

Radical Listening – 6 Strategies For Deeper Connections - Goodlife Zen | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much. -Robert Greenleaf

 

In a recent post, we talked about why you might be undervaluing your listening skills, and how that’s costing you.

In this post, I’ll share some helpful techniques to improve your listening ability.

But before you keep reading, check yourself: how important is listening to you, really?"


Via Brad Abbott, David Hain
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John Michel's curator insight, June 9, 2013 5:11 AM

One of the biggest reasons people don’t listen is that they don’t think it’s important. Unless you decide listening matters for your life, you probably won’t be willing to do the hard work that this post is going to ask of you.

Carolyn Williams's curator insight, June 9, 2013 12:44 PM

Listen and learn ~ great things happen when you hear the message ~ http://www.lifestyle-online.co.uk/blog/2013/02/listen-and-learn/

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When Not to Listen to Your Employees

When Not to Listen to Your Employees | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

You shouldn't listen to an employee who wants help to solve a conflict with another. You might feel proud of “mediating” among your team members as you discuss the problem with each one of them. Such mediation, however, is a poor way to resolve matters. The pairwise processing of information prevents creative dialogue.

Consider Joe and Sally, who report to Carla. Joe tells Carla what he thinks ought to be done and why Sally is wrong. Sally tells Carla what she thinks ought to be done and why Joe is wrong. Carla tries to figure out who is right, and comes up with her own idea. Joe, Sally and Carla are not working together, which is what they should do to find the best solution.

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Listen up | TED Playlists | TED

Listen up | TED Playlists | TED | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Talks on the importance of listening, and how to do it much better.

 

1.Julian Treasure: 5 ways to listen better  07:50

2.Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!  17:09

3.Ethan Zuckerman: Listening to global voices  19:45

4.Evan Williams on listening to Twitter users  08:00

5.Neil Harbisson: I listen to color  09:35

6.Stanley McChrystal: Listen, learn ... then lead  15:38

7.Honor Harger: A history of the universe in sound  11:16

8.Evelyn Glennie: How to truly listen  32:09

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For Real Influence, Listen Past Your Blind Spots

For Real Influence, Listen Past Your Blind Spots | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
When you really make people feel heard, they're more likely to do what you want.

 

To invite genuine buy-in and engagement, we need to listen with a strong personal motive to learn and understand. But we have a "blind spot" in our brains that gets in the way. What we hear is easily distorted with our own needs, biases, experiences and agenda, even when our intentions are good. We often hear what others say without understanding what they mean. We hear what it means to us, not what it means to them.

 

We outline four different levels of listening, and the first three fall short of what's needed for achieve real influence.

Ariana Amorim's insight:

Great post about listening. To achieve real influence one must master the art of connective listening. Connective Listening is the highest form of listening. It's not listening to, it is listening into: listening into other people, on their terms, in order to establish rapport and to lead to real insight.

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12 Most Valuable Listening Skills

12 Most Valuable Listening Skills | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

"Listening is a vital management and leadership activity. Of all the skills we use when we lead our people, it’s vital that we communicate effectively and that is always two way.


What we hear is vital as we work to create rapport with others, as well as clearly understanding the information they want to share with us.


Here are some skills you can use today, right away!"

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Research Paper: Listening in Coaching

Research Paper: Listening in Coaching | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
By:Dhruva Sen Introduction “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” (Ralph Nichols).
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The Discipline of Listening

The Discipline of Listening | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
As the up-and-coming vice president and CEO candidate for a Fortune 500 technology corporation sat before the CEO for his annual review, he was baffled to discover that the feedback from his peers, customers, direct reports, and particularly from...

Via Silvia Toffolon
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If you can hear, you can listen | Mannaz.com

If you can hear, you can listen | Mannaz.com | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

It is a sad reality but in today’s busy world with constant technology distractions we are always focusing on more than one thing at any given time. How many times do you find yourself reading the newspaper and watching the TV at the same time – and let’s not even discuss if you have looked at a text when driving, or read your Blackberry when you should be playing with your children.

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What Does It Mean to Really Listen?

What Does It Mean to Really Listen? | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
I believe that the ability to truly listen is one of the most important skills we can develop in this life—as leaders, as husbands and wives, as friends and coworkers. Here’s a question I have aske...

Via Kevin Watson
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John Michel's curator insight, October 9, 2013 10:43 AM

True listeners look beyond the words themselves—they search for meaning in the speaker’s tone and body language. This is especially important when the communication has an emotional component.

Estelblau's curator insight, October 9, 2013 11:57 AM

How do interpreters really listen? What do you think about it?

 

Ivon Prefontaine's curator insight, October 10, 2013 4:03 PM

Listening and prayer share etymological roots. Deep listening is a quality of a servant-leader and mindful leadership.

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10 tips on becoming a connected listener - Leaders in Heels | Only Womens Business

10 tips on becoming a connected listener - Leaders in Heels | Only Womens Business | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Janeen Sonsie reminds on the importance of listening and more critically being a connected listener.
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How to Really Understand Someone Else's Point of View

How to Really Understand Someone Else's Point of View | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
It's a necessary prerequisite for persuasion. (Good post on how to understand another's point of view.

Via Karen Dietz, ThinDifference
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SooJin-Stella Lee's comment, April 30, 2013 4:08 AM
Thank you ^^ I definitely need these sort of information. And I learend lots of things from your strategies to do well in scoop.it.
Karen Dietz's comment, April 30, 2013 8:47 AM
My pleasure Soo-Jin. Keep up the good work!
Alison D. Gilbert's curator insight, May 2, 2013 1:24 PM

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

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7 Steps to Prove That You Are Listening

7 Steps to Prove That You Are Listening | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
I don’t care how much you know until I know how much you care." – Anonymous
Listening is not enough. In business settings or personal relationships, you must convince your
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DailyGood: The Difference Between Listening & Hearing

DailyGood: The Difference Between Listening & Hearing | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

"There is a difference, strong but not always noted, between listening and hearing. You hear the pneumatic drill, though you would rather not listen. You listen for your children's voices in the playground, but you can't always hear them. In urban environments, there's usually a surplus of sound -- so much, in fact, that it often becomes difficult to hear anything at all. But if we become too good at filtering things, have we also damaged our capacity to listen?"

Ariana Amorim's insight:

This is a beautiful essay on listening, by a writer who spent 12 years with an acute hearing impairment.

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Gloria Inostroza De Celis's curator insight, April 9, 2013 9:04 AM

El saber escuchar es unas de las competencias básicas para relacionarnos adecuadamente en las múltiples interacciones que nos involucramos a diario, sin embargo en "esta sociedad airada" al parecer no estamos dispuesto a hacerlo comprensivamente. Bien vale detenerse a reflexionar a partir de este artículo.

Gracias, Gloria.

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Leadership Caffeine-Listen Harder, Please! | Management Excellence by Art Petty

Leadership Caffeine-Listen Harder, Please! | Management Excellence by Art Petty | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
The failure to truly listen is a big barrier to high performance and performance improvement for most leaders and their teams.
Ariana Amorim's insight:

If you want to improve your listening skills here you'll find a very simple and fun activity. This article also provides 3 ideas to help you start truly listening.

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The Art Of Listening

The Art Of Listening | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
We each have a need to be heard The most basic human need is to understand and to be understood. But most people do not listen; they listen with the goal of responding To respond is to react, and to react is not to listen.
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Clean language: Improve your leadership ability

Clear language: Allison Galbraith explains how organisational leaders can achieve, using one very simple tool, the employee engagement, empowerment and 'more for less' they are looking for in the modern business environment.

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Research Paper: On Powerful Listening

Research Paper: On Powerful Listening | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Kunnath Chandran - The heart and soul of all coaching is communications, and the attribute of powerful listening is essential for a successful coach.
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International Association of Coaching Blog: Becoming a Master Listener

How focused are you on your client . . . really?

Via Kate Anthony
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