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All About Coaching
Everything about Personal and Professional Coaching
Curated by Ariana Amorim
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When Not to Listen to Your Employees

When Not to Listen to Your Employees | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

You shouldn't listen to an employee who wants help to solve a conflict with another. You might feel proud of “mediating” among your team members as you discuss the problem with each one of them. Such mediation, however, is a poor way to resolve matters. The pairwise processing of information prevents creative dialogue.

Consider Joe and Sally, who report to Carla. Joe tells Carla what he thinks ought to be done and why Sally is wrong. Sally tells Carla what she thinks ought to be done and why Joe is wrong. Carla tries to figure out who is right, and comes up with her own idea. Joe, Sally and Carla are not working together, which is what they should do to find the best solution.

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Honestly Speaking

Honestly Speaking | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
When speaking honestly or giving feedback, ask the right questions beforehand. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

Via David Hain
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donhornsby's curator insight, April 23, 2013 7:36 AM

Nice musings on the importnace of giving feedback appropriately from Blair Glaser.

Scott Span, MSOD's curator insight, April 23, 2013 10:38 AM

Not only asking the right questions - but asking if the other person is open to feedback - critical to success.

Jean-Philippe D'HALLUIN's curator insight, May 18, 2013 3:16 AM

 

from article : "When you are about to “be honest”, ask yourself, what is my intention in expressing my truth right now? What is the impact I want to have?"

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Top Seven Reasons People Stay Stuck, Helpless, and Frustrated | Shake Off the Grind

Top Seven Reasons People Stay Stuck, Helpless, and Frustrated | Shake Off the Grind | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
We have all been our own worst enemy. We get in our own way and make things more difficult than they have to be. To our credit we are often unaware of our self-defeating habits, but nonetheless these habits are there in thought and action.
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5 Ways To Fail At Self Development And The Cures

5 Ways To Fail At Self Development And The Cures | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
With the amount of blogs, books, Life Coaches and motivational speakers all speaking about self development it would be easy to assume it’s a complicated topic.
It really isn’t though and most problems will fit into one (or more) of five categories.
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Work-Life Balance: Your Guide to Achieving that Elusive Balance Between Work and Life | Personal Excellence

Work-Life Balance: Your Guide to Achieving that Elusive Balance Between Work and Life | Personal Excellence | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

Is it really feasible to achieve work-life balance nowadays? Or is it just a myth?

 

We’ll approach work-life balance in two parts in this article:

Firstly, we’ll assess the big picture. You need to frame life in a way that enables you to reach balance.Secondly, we’ll go through five specific work-life balance tips that enable you to make noticeable improvements to your life right now.

 

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The "Sandwich Approach" Undermines Your Feedback

The "Sandwich Approach" Undermines Your Feedback | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

Have you ever used the "sandwich approach" to give negative feedback to your direct reports? You sandwich the negative feedback between two pieces of positive feedback. It's a common method, but the sandwich approach may be undermining both your feedback and your relationships with your direct reports.

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What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence? | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

"Emotional intelligence is defined as the capacity to see, understand and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. (...)

Salovey and Mayer's built on this definition by describing EI as, 'The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.' Their model defined four types of skills."

Ariana Amorim's insight:

The Mayer and Salovey model defines four types of skills:

Perceiving emotions 

Using emotions 

Understanding emotions 

Managing emotions 

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Ivon Prefontaine's curator insight, April 19, 2013 7:38 PM

We need to know if it we want to use it and help others gain it. It is about modeling and not just telling.

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Self Developments 10 Greatest Influencers - A Daring Adventure

Self Developments 10 Greatest Influencers - A Daring Adventure | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Self development is populated by gurus, sages and thought leaders, but who are the real game changers?
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Want to be a Hero in Business? My Answers to Your Questions

Want to be a Hero in Business? My Answers to Your Questions | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
Yesterday, I wrote about the idea of being your own hero: How can you take control of the narrative of your life to solve problems and achieve your ultimate goals. Readers had lots of comments —
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7 Steps to Prove That You Are Listening

7 Steps to Prove That You Are Listening | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
I don’t care how much you know until I know how much you care." – Anonymous
Listening is not enough. In business settings or personal relationships, you must convince your
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6 Simple Ways to be a Positive Human - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

6 Simple Ways to be a Positive Human - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
The most important thing is your intention. Say this in every moment you look fall to negativity, “I am in charge of what I feel and what I think. And now, I decide to have a positive mind only.” Have a try!
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capnmatt's curator insight, April 16, 2013 11:31 AM

"The most important thing is your intent." It's true - real motivation comes from the real intent you have when you share what you've seen or heard. This is how other people you are connecting with can make a meaningful decision about whether or not they want to participate in anything you are doing.

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How To Respond To Criticism (Part 2: Dance)

How To Respond To Criticism (Part 2: Dance) | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

The goal of verbal aikido is to transform a potential fight into a dance. The principles I presented in my previous post are common sense, but their practice is anything but common.

I have made a composite of several challenging comments to my listening and honest-and-respectful posts illustrate how these principles can apply to real conversations.

Note that the context for these conversations is LinkedIn, a site where professionals connect through respectful dialogue. I would not even start this conversation in a negative environment.

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How To Respond To Criticism (Part 1: Verbal Aikido)

How To Respond To Criticism (Part 1: Verbal Aikido) | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

“What a stupid idea!” your colleague bursts out. “It will never work.”

How can you respond?

Say, “You are wrong,” and you escalate the conflict.

Say, “I am wrong,” and you betray yourself.

Your colleague must have not read my previous post about humility. Or if he did, he must have been the one who commented that it was a stupid article.

Here are a several ways to deal with criticism.

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Excellence Busters – The Four Beliefs That Will Hold You Back | Leader's Beacon

Excellence Busters – The Four Beliefs That Will Hold You Back | Leader's Beacon | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

We hear a lot of about excellence and the need for it. Theoretically we understand its importance and the need to set a high standard of quality in our work and in our expectations. While this is admirable we will never achieve excellence until we denounce the toxic attitudes and beliefs that prevent us from achieving it. Here are four of the most common excuses that stand between you and excellence. Conquer these and you can fast track yourself to a path of excellence.

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Tips On Setting Realistic Goals That Will Ensure Success - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Tips On Setting Realistic Goals That Will Ensure Success - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
When affecting change in our lives we are often stymied by our own human nature to get things done and get them done now.
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Forget The 7 Deadly Sins, Focus on The 7 Beautiful Virtues! | By Guest Author Steve Mitten - The Launchpad - The Coaching Tools Company Blog

Forget The 7 Deadly Sins, Focus on The 7 Beautiful Virtues! | By Guest Author Steve Mitten - The Launchpad - The Coaching Tools Company Blog | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
After a little soul searching and tuning into universal wisdom here are candidates for "7 Beautiful Virtues" - that could have the greatest positive impact.

 

Here are my 7 Beautiful Virtues:

Faith – The ability to believe in the better.Compassion – The ability to choose to let go of fear and to choose to love others and all living things.Forgiveness – The generosity of spirit to begin anew.Service – The desire to live for the benefit of others.Courage – The strength to do what is right, even though you are scared.Wisdom – The ability to see the bigger picture and access the deeper truth.Commitment – The resolve to do what needs to be done.
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Growth Mindset: Why You Should Be Willing to Fail and Make Mistakes

Growth Mindset: Why You Should Be Willing to Fail and Make Mistakes | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
How do you respond to mistakes that you, or even others make?
Do you consider them to be failures and a reflection of the individual (including yourself), or do you view them as being opportunities for growth and a natural part of being human?
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It's Showtime! Powerful Lessons in Authenticity From Two Movies | By Guest Author Ben Dooley - The Launchpad - The Coaching Tools Company Blog

It's Showtime! Powerful Lessons in Authenticity From Two Movies | By Guest Author Ben Dooley - The Launchpad - The Coaching Tools Company Blog | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

It’s wonderful when we can learn powerful lessons from movies. The experience can be so visceral that we feel tremendously impacted. So, there are two wonderful documentaries out there that I highly recommend you rent.

“What? What is this? I’m reading this to be a better coach. Not to build my DVD collection.”

Bear with me. The first movie is “Children Will Listen” where 100 students from Inner City schools all converged to perform a production of Stephen Sondheim’s “Into the Woods”. The other movie is “Yellow Brick Road,” which follows a production of “The Wizard of Oz” with a cast of players with disabilities, both physical and mental.

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Our House Feels Different! 5 Things Mums Love About Coaching | Life Coaching with Lisa Parkes

Our House Feels Different! 5 Things Mums Love About Coaching | Life Coaching with Lisa Parkes | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

Smiley Coach Lisa Parkes explains why coaching for children works wonders for the whole family and doesn't have to be intense, painful or expensive.

 

"Child Coaching supports the modern day parent who wants the best for their child.  It is not a quick fix or counselling.  In fact The Daily Mail recently wrote about how support for families and children is moving forward as we learn more about how children develop and what they need in order to be happy confident human beings."

 

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Relationship and Marriage Advice | The Gottman Relationship Blog: The Workplace: The Delicate Art of Giving Feedback

Relationship and Marriage Advice | The Gottman Relationship Blog: The Workplace: The Delicate Art of Giving Feedback | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we would like to share an article referencing Dr. Gottman's research that was recently published in the Harvard Business Review. We feel that, given our current The Workplace blog series, it is imperative that you read it! Though Pozen’s intended audience is one of business managers, his advice is applicable to any employer or employee. After all, our bosses are not the only ones who provide us with feedback. Feedback is constantly being exchanged (directly, indirectly, verbally, nonverbally, officially, and casually) between everyone in the workplace.

Ariana Amorim's insight:

The article is: The Delicate Art of Giving Feedback by Robert C. Pozen

Harvard Business Review

 

"Dr. Gottman’s groundbreaking research with couples has allowed us at The Gottman Institute to apply his work to a much broader spectrum of human relationships. His findings can teach us a great deal about building and maintaining healthy connections with our families, friends, and even coworkers!
In the next three weeks, we will cover an area in which relationship dynamics can dictate your degree of professional and financial success, and even determine whether or not your career dreams are fulfilled. Without further ado, we bring you Dr. Gottman on The Workplace!"

 

See also

http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-what-does-your-job-mean.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-things-to-do-together.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-how-does-your-past.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-emotional-communication.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/weekend-homework-assignment-connect.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-ideal-praise-to-criticism.html
http://www.gottmanblog.com/2013/04/the-workplace-building-better.html

 

 

 

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11 Simple Concepts to Become a Better Leader

11 Simple Concepts to Become a Better Leader | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

"Being likeable will help you in your job, business, relationships, and life. I interviewed dozens of successful business leaders for my last book, to determine what made them so likeable and their companies so successful. All of the concepts are simple, and yet, perhaps in the name of revenues or the bottom line, we often lose sight of the simple things - things that not only make us human, but can actually help us become more successful. Below are the eleven most important principles to integrate to become a better leader...

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Be A Hero: Five Steps to Vanquish Any Problem

Be A Hero: Five Steps to Vanquish Any Problem | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
If you don´t see yourself as part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution.Every culture teaches this through a similar story. Joseph Campbell, mythologist and advisor for Star Wars,
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On Leadership and Counting Carrots

On Leadership and Counting Carrots | All About Coaching | Scoop.it
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~ Dr. Robert Anthony

 

So What's Your Carrot?

Do you know what motivates others at work? Research from Duke University and George Mason University reveals that, although you might think you do; you probably don’t.

At regular intervals over a forty-year period, executives were asked to rank what they thought motivated their employees. They consistently got it wrong.  Executives erroneously believed that external factors and incentives such as compensation,bonuses, job security, and promotions are what most motivated their employees.

But what do the employees say?  They report that it is inherent factors, such as interesting work, being appreciated for making meaningful contributions, a feeling of being involved in decisions, and being part of something bigger that motivates them the most.

However, employees were no better off predicting what motivated their bosses and peers. They got it wrong, too; believing it is external factors that motivates others – especially their superiors.

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The Mental Shift That Can Change Everything at Work, And Beyond

The Mental Shift That Can Change Everything at Work, And Beyond | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was awful!"

How many of your meetings start with this lame excuse? You know it’s a cop-out, yet an irrepressible urge makes you take the easy way out

 

In Control versus Out of Control

There are two types of causes: those within and those beyond your control. You have a choice about where to focus. The latter makes you look innocent. You are not to blame. The former makes you powerful. It is your “response-ability.” Being “response-able” means focusing on what you can do to respond to a challenge. It’s about taking ownership, rather than assigning blame and playing the innocent victim.

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How To Be Honest and Respectful With a Jerk

How To Be Honest and Respectful With a Jerk | All About Coaching | Scoop.it

“What a stupid idea!” your mind screams as you listen to your colleague. “It will never work.”

How can you be honest and respectful at this moment?

Saying, “That´s a stupid idea,” is disrespectful.

Saying, “That’s an interesting idea,” is dishonest.

When you are offered two equally bad alternatives, choose a third.

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