You can tap into the same neural circuitry that makes you fixate on the negative in order to turn your mistakes in your favor.
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Ever have one of those days when everything is going perfectly fine…until someone makes a comment that completely derails you? Maybe it’s something in the tone of voice or a funny look – and you just can’t shake it off. What is that supposed to mean? Did I do something wrong? What’s her problem, anyway?
Before you know it, a quick encounter unfolds into a major incident in your mind. You feel wronged. You’re consumed by a sense of injustice. And you’re taking it very personally. (...) In those moments, it helps to pause and ask, Is this really about me? What else might be going on?
To show you what we mean, we’ve played out the ups and downs of taking things too personally in everyday situations. If any feel like potential sore spots for you, try our suggestions for zooming out and adjusting your point of view.
Learn 30 positive reframes when it comes to thinking about yourself and others.
The single most important attribute in cultivating happiness and success in your life is your ability to create positive reframes.
A positive reframe is taking a situation and trying to find something good in it. It’s incredibly simple in theory, but it can be very difficult to practice.
This article shares 30 positive reframes when it comes to both yourself and others. It takes a characteristic that is usually seen as “negative” and then twists it to make it more “positive.”
“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was awful!"
How many of your meetings start with this lame excuse? You know it’s a cop-out, yet an irrepressible urge makes you take the easy way out
In Control versus Out of Control
There are two types of causes: those within and those beyond your control. You have a choice about where to focus. The latter makes you look innocent. You are not to blame. The former makes you powerful. It is your “response-ability.” Being “response-able” means focusing on what you can do to respond to a challenge. It’s about taking ownership, rather than assigning blame and playing the innocent victim.
Frustrated, impatient, pissed off, raging…aaarrrrrrgh! Yes, it’s normal to feel angry – you are human, after all. But if anger causes problems in your life – if it interferes with your health and happiness – then consider these 10 life-changing facts. Get curious about anger, and you just might discover an untapped well of vital energy that improves your life circumstances and wakes you up to the whole of life.
Change your outlook on a negative event — and enjoy less stress.
Looking on the bright side even when things go wrong is a key component of optimism, which research links to lower rates of depression, a better ability to cope with stress, and more relationship satisfaction, among other benefits. While finding the silver lining on a negative experience might (understandably) make you fear turning into a Pollyanna, many of us have a tendency to look on the bright side too rarely, not too often. This exercise is designed to help you achieve a healthier balance.
Here are 3 types of successes people rarely stop to recognize:
1) Concrete steps taken towards larger goals.
2) Successes of PERSONAL value, but not necessarily recognized by others.
3) Our failures AND mistakes. Overcoming failures and mistakes MUST be celebrated. If we have failed – it is because we risked and it is only by risking that we make changes in our lives. Plus, when we reject our mistakes and failures we also reject a part of ourselves.
Suggestion: Set up a session to help your client celebrate their success – and honour themselves. And not only are you celebrating, you’re reframing success and failure, and building their self-esteem too!
We are emotional beings, this is what we are. Everything that happens in our life makes us feel some sort of emotion. Whether it’s the satisfaction from eating our morning breakfast, the anger from our daily commute to work, the challenge from working out at the gym, the joy from spending time with loved ones, the calmness from relaxing in a quiet place alone, or the sadness from dealing with some sort of loss, we feel emotion in everything we do and we will continue to do so for the rest of our life. Therefore if we are bound to feel emotions for the remainder of our life, why should we be stuck feeling negative emotions?
Ariana Amorim's insight:
"As you can see, your emotional state can quickly be altered just by simply changing the words used to describe such feelings. Although you will still be describing the emotions you’re feeling from the situation, you now will be feeling it in more of a positive light.
"Once again this shows the power of the mind to create a story to make sense of its surroundings. Your brain is happier to believe there are connections between the things that it sees. This is a vital insight for your brand experience. If you do not control the story, your audience will find their own and maybe it’s not the story you want to tell."
Via Gregg Morris, David McQueen
Ariana Amorim's insight:
This article tells us about the Kuleshov Effect and its implications on brand experience. I think there's more to it and that's why I rescoop it here.
The Kuleshov Effect is a film editing (montage) effect demonstrated by Russian filmmaker Lev Kuleshov in the 1910s and 1920s.
In the dawn of the 20th century, cinema was a new art form, comprising many techniques that hadn’t been developed. The elements of editing were among the ones that had not been studied to the needed extension. Lev Kuleshov was among the first to indicate the power of film editing and to dissect the effects of juxtaposition.
Kuleshov put a film together, showing the expression of an actor, edited together with a plate of soup, a girl in a coffin and a woman on a recliner. Audiences praised the subtle acting, showing an almost imperceptible expression of hunger, grief, or lust in turn. The reality, of course, is that the same clip of the actor's face was re-used, and the effect is created entirely by its juxtaposition with other images.
Through his experiments and research, Kuleshov discovered that depending on how shots are assembled the audience will attach a specific meaning or emotion to it.The implication is that viewers brought their own emotional reactions to this sequence of images, and then moreover attributed those reactions to the actor, investing his impassive face with their own feelings.
So, can we recognize emotion without context? How do we reframe the stories we tell others and ourselves?
The stories that we tell ourselves are powerful. And yet, if you think about it, they are, in fact, just stories.
Once we realize that, it then becomes possible to conclude that we could, tell ourselves other stories – stories that make space for our own growth, stories that build us up instead of break us down.
(You can read more about the Kuleshov effect here http://io9.com/5960035/can-the-kuleshov-effect-really-control-your-perception-of-other-peoples-feelings)
"Six ways to do cognitive restructuring."
These are some CBT techniques you can try at home to reduce problems with your mood, anxiety, and stress.
Six Ways to Change Your Thinking
1. Practice noticing when you're having a cognitive distortion
2. Track the accuracy of a thought
3. Behaviorally testing your thought
4. Evaluate the evidence for/against your thought
Your negative emotions are powerful guides to what needs to change in your life.
Ariana Amorim's insight:
If you fell: fear, rejection, anger, frustration, stress or if you feel inadequate, in this post you will find tips a long with a plan to transform these emotions into something new and helpful.