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How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone

How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone | All About Coaching |
Did you know that one of the best things you can do for your relationships is to learn how to apologize well? Simply saying "I'm sorry" is not enough...

Via EQRocks, Deborah Lange
Deborah Lange's curator insight, March 9, 2013 5:08 AM

It takes courage and humility to apologise. A significant part in making an apology is not making excuses and accepting and listening to what other people say who were hurt or offended by your actions. If you become defensive or make excuses when you are given feedback you may as well have not said anything. What you said is likely to not be experienced as a heartfelt apology. Accepting responsibility is critical if the aplogy is going to impact on reconciling the relationship.


Also apologise with no expectation that the other person will forgive you as they may not be able to "get over" what was done. They may need more time after your apology. So an apology with an intention of truly saying you are sorry and not expecting anything in return is also critical. If you expect the other person to accept your aplogy and forgive you staright away you may set yoursef up to become defensive again and maintain a chasm between you and the person you hurt. 


The reality is some people are never really sorry either. Knowing that you have been hurt by someone and you will never receive an apoplogy also needs an act of kindness to oneself so that "you" are not contaminated with toxicity from being hurt by some-one else. Although forgiveness is difficult an intention to be kind to oneself assists one's own pain being released.

Deborah Lange's comment, April 9, 2013 12:24 AM
Dear EQRocks good tips - learning to be non-defensive is an awesome skill and being able to apologise develops that skill. Action Tip: Notice where and when you are feeling defensive and first step, breathe, sigh, let it out, move your body
Deborah Lange's comment, April 9, 2013 12:26 AM
oops, second tip, have an inner dialogue about what you can do to make yourself feel safe and non-defensive, and take action and do that. This can be harder than it sounds at first.
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Anger | All About Coaching |

Articles on Anger, from an EQ perspective!

Anger is the #1 most misunderstood, and disrespected, of our feelings.  Learn what you can, as Anger can also change your life, for the better! 

Via EQRocks, David Hain
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