“While I was at the car wash the other day, I noticed a sign on the wall that read, 'Thursday is Seniors Day: Seniors 50 and over get $4 off any wash.' Even though I turned 50 last October, I still don't think of myself as a senior.”
“Move over bride-to-be, the real star of the wedding is her mother, according to a poll of 2,000 women, which found they'll splash out on the right outfit and want to look better than the groom's mum.”
“1. Comfortable shoes is a contradiction of terms. At a certain point, you will order shoes by the dozens from Zappos and ship them all back the day they arrive. The problem is that shoes don't fit yo”
“I really am not a fan of the phrase "Aging Gracefully." We are all aging from the moment we slide out the birth canal. However, instead of aging gracefully, I choose to "Live Joyfully" ...out loud and with contentment.”
“Soon we'll be a year older, and then another and another on the inexorable march from young to old to dead. If we no longer have a job and want one, our business card may say "consultant,'' this generation's euphemism for unemployed.”
“Men are allowed to age gracefully, without a trail of biting gossip. They have gray hair or no hair, and their paunches and domes are not critiqued with the same vehemence as the girth and coifs of their female contemporaries.”
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